Perkdermp 3! (Possibly NSFW, No Nudity, Very Pic Heavy)

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Perhaps, I should start calling the Perkdermp seies “Why I Should Stay off the Internet.”

Thor’s hammer (Photo credit: mararie)

This time around I have 24 pictures that I have personally enjoyed. Again, I am making no claims that these images are my

own (unless otherwise noted), and I do apologize if you feel I have stolen from you in some way. None of the images in this post are explicitly NSFW, however depending on your work environment, there may be one or two that could be bothersome. And now, all the warnings are out of the way.

I honestly prefer the “make the car smell funny” lever.

I present micro-horse, in honor of Drezirale.

The comment sums it up quite accurately. And considering how many times that video has been featured on this blog, you should all have beards by now.

Amazingly enough, that is the exact look Luz gets when there are tacos in front of him. On that note, there is not a single member of Fisch Fail, INC that would not want this to become a common viewing in our lives.

Perkdermp 2! (Possibly NSFW, No Nudity, Very Pic Heavy)

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NSFW (Photo credit: Travis S.)

After the popularity of my recent picture post, I decided to do a semi-regular picture post containing ridiculous images I have found while traversing the Internet. Again, I am making no claims that these images are my own (unless otherwise noted), and I do apologize if you feel I have stolen from you in some way. None of the images in this post are explicitly NSFW, however depending on your work environment, there may be one or two that could be bothersome. And now, all the warnings are out of the way.

On to the show!

This time around, I have a collection of 35 images sure to brighten your day, confuse you, or finally convince you to stop visiting us (not that we want that, but things happen).

It is true, I’ve run the tests.

I really feel this should have made it in http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZsKqbt3gQ0

The day SpongeBob learned how to deepthroat.

Bald Eagle Exterminators!

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I fully agree with the ideas listed below. Let’s do this ‘Murica (the rest of the world can join in just substituting where appropriate)!

 

Mr. Inman, if you are seeing this, please realize that I did not in fact steal this. Please don’t assume that I did. In fact, here is another link to your wonderful website: TheOatmeal.

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Holy Shit! (Picture Heavy, also NSFW)

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Fisch (Photo credit: HamburgerJung) I personally think this should become our new logo.

So, Breeish called it. Almost 2 years ago at this point. She said, and I quote “^ I am surprised Fisch doesn’t have a post about this up.” I will be honest, I never actually took the time to look up what the fuck that meant, until now.

Wow, how the fuck did you know?

I don’t much discuss issues of poo, on this here blog (I leave that reserved for Drezirale who no longer posts because he is a cunt), but when I do, I something…. I don’t even know anymore, I apologize.

And now to explain my absence. I’ve been gone, deal with it, as for the other authors, I cannot say. (Although it, sadly,  may be about time to “trim some fat around here”).

On an important side note, remember that the “I’m Addicted To Your Mom” contest is nearing completion, and we are still accepting entries. Remember, with no entries, we cannot announce a winner.

Fuck it, who likes pictures (not related to the previous shit!)?

Eh, who the fuck am I kidding, you guys love pictures, and below are some random ones in no particular order. Have fun! Obviously, most of the following are not original content, sorry if I “stole” from you.

2012, in a nutshell

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I was on Reddit, and came across a picture that claimed to be the results of the Google search “2012, in a nutshell…” After a little research (i.e. going to google.com and searching “2012 in a nutshell”) I found it to be true. And I must say, I am neither disappointed nor in disbelief.

I dedicate this post to 2012, you piece of shit. I hope I never see you again…

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Ceci N’est Pas Une Pipe

Say it with me now…

When my pipe burns bright and clear, the gods I need not envy here.

This is part of a German folk song, and this is not a pipe post…

Oh wait it is…

 

So it’s been awhile since I’ve even mentioned the recreational use of the majestic tobacco-smoking apparatus, but it’s about time I give this timeless instrument of perfection.

In the very beginnings of my briar-clad journey I had no idea whatsoever of the nuances involved with the art of pipe smoking, nor the knowledge of what to initially purchase. My first steps to pipe ownership abruptly fell into my lap; but more accurately was found atop an old refrigerator…

The combing through of possessions from a newly-deceased family member (rest in peace) was how I acquired my first pipe. It was old to the point of being more pipe-like-object than anything else. I knew it was perched up there even when I was young enough to think a fridge was a form of  extreme “no go zone” meant only for the most thrill-seeking of children. I wondered if it was some turn of the century relic long forgotten by both time and a dedicated smoker. Maybe a pilfered war prize from WWII, meant to be found once again and cherished?

Nope… Mr. Fail himself found a VERY similar pipe at a gas station for like, three dollars… Oh well… I still would come to enjoy it for a decent handful of smokes, but would eventually have to figure of if this pastime would be for me.

                                                                                                                   ^there it is! also an awesome hat!^

The answer would come to me in the form of a friend who happens to own a smoke shop, and I got myself a Churchwarden pipe.

Another pipe, and another hat! Damn that is an epic beard…

But soon I would realize that merely two pipes would not satisfy me, and after traversing hours of websites I would come to know my very first actual briar pipe.

I found this pipe from (gasp, a promotion!) smokingpipes.com:

aaaaaannnnddd guess what pipe I bought?!

and yet another hat!

Yet it was but another step, and I required something… exotic?

Ever heard of Meerschaum? Yeah, I didn’t either… until I looked into it…                                    I love the case far too much to not show it, and I ran out of hats… Thank Grimnir for this’un!

 

…and that is the end of my collection so far.

You maybe thinking “Daaaaaaaaaiiiiimmmmnnnn Luz, you must get paid like a MOTHERfucker!” but I actually have spent less than $100 for all of my pipes and accessories combined. How much do you spend on that there Xbarx or Funstation? If you ever thought about being a little classier or just look somewhat more badass… a pipe may be right for you.

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Back from the dead.

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Hey guys, it’s me, fischfail. I bet you never thought I would return, didn’t you. Don’t fear though, it takes a lot to keep me down and out,

A child sad that his hot dog fell to the ground. Photographer’s blog post related to this photo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

although it has been getting easier to do so.

You will have to forgive me for not posting recently, between the veritable laundry list of illnesses, stress due to school and work, and a sudden onset of depression, I haven’t had much will to do very much. And while I will spare you all from most of that, I will share the following with you.

Today, I woke up with severe neck pain that prevents me from turning my head without excruciating pain shooting throughout my body, which is also causing my back to tighten back up, and not to even mention my teeth…

Obviously, not my real mouth.

But enough of the sad stuff surrounding my life.

Although the story behind this post is a little saddening as well, but for other reasons… I’ve been gone for a while; this is a clearly known fact (my last real post being made March 29, 2012). But I had a plan, a glorious and triumphant return: a plan that would make Fisch Fail, INC amazing, once more.

Sadly though, that plan was dashed away by the sudden and somewhat concerning disappearance of someone who has had very little mention here: StarStorm.

It would have been a post surrounding one of the two things authors of Fisch Fail, INC can actually admit to enjoying: video games and attractive women. This particular story would have focused on gaming and one very amazing online interaction that I personally encountered.

However, since that is likely to have gone out the door I am here to make this post, which will actually be combining a couple of posts that I had planned on making.

But now that I am done with the second sad bit of this post, it is time to move on to fun! Most of the following does not need further explanation… Or maybe they do, I am not really sure.

How did they know?

…I don’t even know…

Uhhhhhh, what is his name?

Actually, I saw this while driving to school. Unfortunately that was the only picture that ErinLovesTheWeb was able to snap off before the vehicle disappeared into a nearby suburb. Either way, let us continue.

That is kinda how Fisch Fail, INC. is.

Admit, you’ve been there…

Who hasn’t wanted to beat the fuck out of the annoying kid next to them at the LAN party?

So would I… I think

I wonder how many takes that took?

Yup, exactly as I pictured it.

This still manages to creep me out… Please make it stop.

Get the fuck out of my way.

This picture is not only awesome, but will piss Drezirale off.

And now for Fisch Fail, INC’s first ever post including actual nudity…

The sexiest pics of 2011 as chosen by Fisch Fail, INC., and some news!

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Titanomaxia Trilemma Supra Saga~ ready to initiate the ultimate game (Photo credit: KevinHutchins314)

So, I’ve actually been meaning to make this post for about a month now, and I don’t exactly know what has kept coming up to prevent me from doing so, but here it is. I was part of a group creation, along with ErinLovesTheWeb, Jihawk, Digustipated, Starstorm, Saga, and maybe a couple of others (if I forgot you, I sincerely apologize, buy you could leave a comment, and let me know!)

Let me introduce to you: The South East Michigan Independent Gaming Alliance of Yesteryear. Which is also known as The Semi-Gay. You want to join, send me a message (there are plenty of places where you can do so), and we will see what we can do.

And lets move onto the next bit of news… Does anyone but me remember Fisch Fail live events? I miss that shit, I might try to bring it back. They were fun while they lasted, and it was a good way for you guys to actually get to speak with us and meet us “in person.”

Also, I think we all forgot about this… But we need logos! Any of you remember the logo contest we had going on? The one where you guys were supposed to create a logo for us, so we can have official pictures that apply to us. The contest is simple, you guys design us an image that portrays the concept of Fisch Fail, INC (and if you don’t know what that means, perhaps you could take some time and read some of our older posts, it might clear some things up). We then take your logo design and make sure it gets immortalized for all the world to see… Or at least those who read our blog.

Speaking of contests, we are still looking for a model for some official Fisch Fail, INC flavor (personally, I like chicken and salmon, but you guys can choose other ones that are more to your liking). We could really use contestants, or else you guys get to see us presenting the magical gear and no one wants to see that. And I promise you guys, you will love it.

Also, you should never forget about “I’m Addicted to Your Mom!”

And now for the reason you guys are actually reading this post, the sexiest pictures of 2011 as judged by Fisch Fail, INC.

So let’s set the world on fire…

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Just for you Drezirale… I know how much you love that song…

Let's Get Down (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Either way, I am back now (we had some issues surrounding wireless that I could not fix…), and now

lets resume where we left off…

Yet another Pictophone booklet, this one was started by the very amazing ErinLovesTheWeb..

01

I don’t think We’re in Kansas anymore.

02

03

Don’t think about shoes or the dog will bite you.

04

Blessed are the days when life is intent and clear

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This is the third installment of my pictophone series. This booklet comes from the very awesome B.E.N. (whose name may change in

the future)…

Either way, here we go. And once again, I will make sure to make captions for the written pieces of artwork.

#1

I am a jelly donut

#2

#3

I am singing about a box of raisins

#4

#5

Sing take me out to the ballgame

#6

#7

Singing baseball player

#8

#9

I’m not exactly sure what happened here, but it says “I sing while playing baseball”

#10

Ten more image brought to you by the game called pictophone. And now you all know that the phrase “I am a jelly doughnut” directly translates to a screaming man with a gigantic misshapen club-like penis singing while a baseball hurls towards him.

For some bonus content for you guys, I leave you this.

And that is it for me for today. Keep being fucking awesome you guys.

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Over the Rainbow

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When driving home from class this past Saturday, I noticed a car I had never seen before.

Normally that wouldn’t at all be surprising, and I am not that educated when it comes to the monstrous beasts (believe me when I say, they might as well work by magic).

But now that aside is done, let me begin my story.

I had just merged on a rather popular interstate highway, when I noticed this car. A Ford C-Max. Much like the one below…

The only difference being the one I saw was dark purple. So far this story is not that interesting or entertaining. But then I saw another directly in front of that one. Except it was purple, just like that fucking dinosaur I’m sure we all remember so well. but if you don’t let me give you a brief introduction…

Ewwwww. Now that the “video” has finished let me continue my strange little story.

However let you give you a brief recap… I enter the interstate highway and see a vehicle (Ford C-Max) that I’ve never seen before. It was dark purple…

Directly in front of that one was a purple Ford C-Max…

Okay still not entirely strange. But then I noticed there was yet another Ford C-Max in front of that one… A blue one. Still noticing nothing too strange, I light a smoke and continue on my journey home, and as I round a curve I notice yet another C-Max… This time in green.

I look at the cars in a line to verify that I am in fact not crazy and my brain was just telling me the wrong color (or the paint job that actually changed colors). Sure enough there were four of them in a row, (from back to front) colored dark purple, purple, blue, and green.

I look forward down the line of cars in the lane and notice a yellow car. I can only guess that it was yet another Ford C-Max… Except this one was following an orange one which in turn was following a red one…

My thoughts start reeling… Am I truly looking at a rainbow created by Ford C-Max vehicles?

Yes, yes I am…

And then I notice something else…

They all change lanes at the exact same time, would all turn on or off headlamps at the exact same second, and change   speeds at the same rate and time.

Okay, so I saw 7 Ford C-Max cars just so happening to make a rainbow… Big deal. But then something surprising happened…

The red one changed lanes, and reduced speed. As soon as the yellow car was in front, it also switched lanes. This continued happening until they were all in the reverse order (from first to last: dark purple, purple, blue, green, yellow, orange, red).

Finally, after following closely behind for 15 minutes, the take an exit not to be seen again.

It kinda made a rather shitty day, a little less gay… Somehow.

Either way, kinda cool marketing/sales strategy.

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If only I had an enemy bigger than my apathy, I could have won

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Time for part 2 of the pictophone series. Stand back and watch the awesome unfold.

Image via Wikipedia

If you remember from the first post I made, I discussed how the game goes, the one thing I forgot to mention is: everybody in the circle does this at the same time (if you have five people playing, there are five people either writing or drawing at the same time).

This “booklet” (the name I will use to describe one stack of papers) comes from StarStorm (more on him in the future). And now that I think about it, I forgot to mention the author of the first booklet, JiHawk (also more of her in the future). My apologies ma’am, please don’t shank me for forgetting to mention you.

Remember to scroll slowly, taking in each amazing piece of written masterpiece and showmanship of pure artistic talent.

#1

It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your cloths

#2

 

#3

Hot airplanes gaining altitude love clothes

#4

 

#5

Flying planes love clothing?

#6

 

#7

Fly your heart to clothes

#8

 

#9

A flying heart leads to empty clothes (which can be strangely accurate!)

#10

 

Well, there you have it. Pictophone part 2. I hope you guys enjoyed this one as much as the last, and I do have more lined up and ready to be shown to the world, but I think one pictophone booklet is enough for one post.

So, until next time, remember: Don’t take life too seriously. It might just kill you.

 

P.S. The title of this post is brought to you by the following song.

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Once upon a time…

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Image via Wikipedia

There was a blog aptly named Fisch Fail, INC.  and it did… Stuff.

So, it’s been a short while since I’ve last posted. And there are plenty of stories to be

shared with that. And hopefully

they will all come into existence very soon.

Since, it seems most of my authors have disappeared into the abyss, there has been a shortage of posts recently. A

lso, Ullersson, if you happen to read this, I do have a signature for you. I’ve actually had it for months… You can ask Luz about getting a hold of me.

So either way, ErinLovesTheWeb and I are part of a new group (which you will hear about in the very near future. But today’s story is related to it, however no background information is needed for that at this time.

There is a game we’ve been playing for a short while, called Pictophone. If you’ve never heard of the game, let me explain the rules.

 

1) Find a group of people.

2) Give each person sheets of paper equal to the number of people in the group.

3) Each person writes a phrase or statement on the first sheet of paper.

4) Everyone passes their entire stack of paper (picture on front) to the person on their left.

5) The new person puts the phrase on the back of the pile of the papers.

6) The new person then draws a picture representing the original phrase.

7) The person then passes the entire stack of papers to their left again.

8) The new person then looks at the picture, and moves it to the back of the stack.

9) The new person then writes a statement describing the picture (they are not allowed to look at anything but the top sheet).

10) Repeat until the circle has completed.

11) Read the results and have many lolz.

It sounds silly, but it is a lot of fun.

The following is one example from a night of play. I will include captions for the written sheets of paper. Scroll slowly to fully take everything in.

#1

December is for cynics

#2

 

#3

You should tell your cold friends when the calender shows snow on trees.

#4

 

#5

The screaming calendar man helps the monkeys with mittens.

#6

#7

Sleep Monkey

#8

 

#9

The monkey’s on a leash while you sleep

 

#10

 

And that is basically the game (well 1 of 5 peoples chain of translations). I will try and post a different one every couple of days. By the end of the night, we were all screaming in pain from laughter.

 

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True story

I can personally attest to this, and so can everyone else who has ever worked on someone’s computer.

 

True story

 

I have decided…

I want a signature as well! I don’t care what it is, it could be a T-Rex in head phones and a NASCAR t-shirt shitting crayons on a Filet Mignon and I’d still sport it… Especially if it’s that…