Sup, Internet Sensation Drezirale here again. Lets get right into this one. It could be short, who knows… Alright so I recently as of 6am had a mindblowingly awesome food experience. This shit was like, mindblawsome– yeah it’s a word now, deal with it. First I want to start off by saying I live in an area where there are Coney Islands everywhere. Seriously, throw a stone it’s likely to land in someone’s chili cheese fries. These places aren’t exactly the place to write home about. However, as all the people I live with read this, it’s become my letter home.
I pass this place literally every day on my way to work, and have not once stepped inside. Normally, the place is packed tighter than a gay man’s ass at a Rent after-party. Which I thought strange for a Coney Island of all places. Though, since eating there I can understand why. I was driving back home when I felt my stomach gremlin acting up. Yeah, I think have gremlin in my stomach! What of it? It’s not like I believe in faeries. (See: Those who cry wolf.) There was but a few cars in the lot, and I notice the open sign.
I was not feeling breakfast today, so decided to venture in. I’m then welcomed almost immediately. I take a look around at this massive yet classy establishment. I mean were talking Olive Garden class here. Again, I am taken back by this place, and in my bewilderment to ask the stupidest question in the world. “You guys, are a Coney Island right?” As if the giant neon sign above the door I just came in or the one on the entirety of the roof– which could bee seen not only from the road I was on but possibly the highway, were lying to me.
Thankfully, my idiocy is ignored, or at least brushed off with a mere “yes”. Oh but it gets better, as I’m clearly not done asking stupid questions. In retrospect, I should have just sat down, shut up, and drank my pop. But no! I have I habit of not thinking before I engage conversation. So! I proceeded to the next stupid question for my waitress.
“Do you serve anything other than breakfast at this time?” This wouldn’t have been so bad had it not been for my first question. So now she must think I’m absolutely stupid, but gives me another mere “yes”. Which is then followed by, “our cooks will make anything on the menu”. On a good note, my foot was the worst tasting thing I put into my mouth there.
I wait for my food, which by the way is faster than most Coney Islands. This must be to the fact they have a grill literally twenty feet long with twelve chefs working it. So I get my usual, patty melt with the aforementioned fry concoction. Usual in a sense I get this at every Coney, as I’ve never been to this establishment. I take a bite and it’s like thirty angels flew into my brain and all started dropping acid. I swear this was the best melt I had in a good long while. If not ever! Then, I try my chili cheese fries. Let me tell you. Have you ever known what it’s like to orally pleasure Odin? Because, I’m sure this would be close. I have never had coney food so epically made.
Needless to say I would definitely try this place again. Perhaps next time I’ll get the clam chowder. The Boston kind, which is my number one favorite soup. Yeah, that threw me too. Most places just have New England. I saved a bit and going to bed here soon. Totally eat that when I wake up.