There’s a Man

Posted: August 17, 2011 by luzob in Random
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

A big, strong and passionate man…

…He can lift stumps from the earth

…with his dick.

He once made a 400 lb. man drop to his knees and sob uncontrollably…

…with a smile.

 

This wondrous individual can use his thoughts to propel small objects in orbit.

…I’ve seen it.

…it was a burrito.

Though we mourned the death of the wrapped Tex-Mex food item, the amazing man fed everyone of the on-lookers immediately afterward…

…just on his awesomeness.

…and we were full…

…and it lowered everyone’s cholesterol.

THIS MAN IS THE SIXTH PLANETEER!

His tears are considered the greenest source of fuel.

…we still have to use gasoline because he never cries.

He once took a dump in Buckingham… the miraculous movement was swiftly Knighted.

…one day it shall become King.

He made the Old Spice guy break down and weep, just because he farted.

He slew the Orbitz white-suit man…

…just with a child-like giggle.

The Dairy Queen guy…

…calls him “All-Father”.

…and he laughed in the face of Mayhem.

Who is this God among humans?

Who could this beautiful beast possibly be?!?

You beg me to give you the name!

BEG me to allow the utterance of his perfection!

This man is…

That’s right…

and it’s his effing birthday, so make sure to give the founder of this amazing blog all the goddamn love you can muster…

…then give him more.

…until it bleeds you.

I assure you that your love will come back to you in a check for one-million beautiful happy-times.

This man is the friend I’ve always wanted and the brother I’ve always needed.

Just know you’re appreciated, Mr. Fail.

Comments
  1. fischfail says:

    This may be the best post I have ever read. Thank you, sir. It really means a lot to me. And I think that I might actually love you because of this.

    No homo, fag.

  2. MoonPie says:

    dude this was fuckin awesome……

  3. luzob says:

    I felt terrible that I couldn’t see you for your birthday, so this was the least I could do.
    But when we meet up again you’re getting wasted.

  4. drezirale says:

    The best part is the knighted poop…

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