Beeeeez? BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ!~

Posted: August 19, 2012 by drezirale in Random
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Some of you may think bees are scary and that they sting everyone. Well I have done extensive research that proves otherwise. It is my findings that bees are cool peeps so long as you leave them alone. There is a terrible foe out there that masquerades as a bee, this foe pins all of it’s crimes on the gentle bee. This foe is the wasp! Now I know what you are all thinking “Why is the wasp so much worse than a bee?” Well, I could tell you but allow me show illustrations of my findings. Protip: Click the images to expand them.

First I want to start off with some advisories:

Bee Vs Wasp Advisory #1 Bee Vs Wasp Advisory #2 Bee Vs Wasp Advisory #3
This is one of three advisories explaining the different mindsets of bees vs wasps The Message here is that bees are your friends and wasps are dicks. Wasps =/= Bros!

Now that the differences in how they act have been established, read the cautionary message about wasps:

Clearly, these are the assholes of the animal kingdom!

Shall we take a closer look into the differences of these particular Apocrita:

Anatomy of a bee Bee Vs Wasp checklist Anatomy of a wasp
Biologically speaking these are the body parts that make up the bee. If you venture into the wild keep this handy checklist with you for an aid. Also, keep in mind bees die if they sting you once, wasps sting forever. These are the parts that constitute a wasp.

So Now that we have seen their physical makeup, let us now see how they live:

Honeycomb Bee and wasp mindset <Wasp Hive
Here we have a honeycomb from the inside of the bee hive. Look how nice and orderly everything is. This is the thought process that goes on within the hives. OH LOOK! It appears that wasps also keep their hives orderly.

But who is charge of these hives you ask? Lets take a look:

Queen Bee Wasp leader
This is the Queen bee. She’s pretty much the top shit around the hive. She calls all the shots, gets all of the food before anyone else, and if she does not want to mate no one does. Those with wives and long term girlfriends will know the feeling. This grotesque human/wasp hybrid is what leads all of the wasps. It’s fingertips are 12 inch long stingers that are 2 inches wide. This is rarely reported by humans for the very second you see it wasps burst from your eyelids and it’s scream makes a projectile swarm at it’s target. Needless to say if you see it you don’t survive. If you hear buzzing at night don’t open your eyes, it watches you sleep in hopes someone will wake up to be the next victim.

Here are some very accurate depictions of both bees and wasps:

True Bee True Wasp
This is an image of what a bee actually looks like. They are easy to spot they chill around flowers being happy and peaceful. Their stingers are so tiny if you manage to get stung it tickles and sadly the bee dies after. Unless allergic you’ll have no issue, even then you’ll need roughly around 100 stings. If this manages to happen one antihistamine pill will do the trick. This is the actual image of a wasp. These massive 9 foot tall monsters will send anyone, even the most healthy into instant anaphylaxis upon sight. Those unfortunate enough to be stung will be sent into a perpetual nightmarish hallucinogenic state before death. If the claymore sized stinger doesn’t cause all the blood in you body to drain. If it came down to getting shot or stung by a wasp, choose getting shot. At least there is a chance you could live. If you are allergic, well *shudder* you don’t even want to know.

Now for some close ups:

Bee Face Wasp Face
Aww it’s a bee’s face, how cute is that? Don’t you just want to hug it? This is a wasp’s face in a close up view. You just shit yourself.

Do you think the differences stop within nature? No, even in media the differences are clearly apparent:

Bumblebee Comics Wasp Comics
This is Bumblebee, she’s from DC comics. She works for the Teen Titans mostly, but sometimes aids The Justice League. She’s an all around cool girl, and is always there for her team. She even helped save the world from a mind controlled Superman. That takes some guts. So this is Wasp. She’s kind of a bitch. She worked for The Avengers but screwed them over by making Scarlet Witch have a mental breakdown and destroy the team. She had a pregnancy scare where she didn’t know if the father was Clint Barton or Hank Pymm… She hosted a reality show where upcoming superheroes degraded themselves for amusement. She was also pro-registration, which means no more secret identities. Hank Pymm had to stop being Ant Man and had to become Yellow Jacket (A type of wasp) just so he could stand up to her. Which made him develop dissociative identity disorder. If she knew her place he wouldn’t need to hit her. Also, her brand of comics have Skrulls, and Skrulls are stupid.

Here have more proof:

Bumblebee Transformers Waspinator Transformers
This is Bumblebee, he’s a very passive Transformer and Autobot. Whatever medium of Transformers Bumblebee always ends up being best friends with a major human character from earth. Bumblebee is so passive in fact he was mute in the movie. In the first gen of Transformers he was a Volkswagen, which is a car that never hurt anyone. Here is Waspinator, he’s a Decepticon and a dick…

Lastly, to get my point across I will show you the fruits of each creatures labors:

Honey Pain!
Bees make honey, it’s very delicious. It goes great with peanut-butter, toast, ice cream, and even asparagus. Wasps make only pain and suffering…

None of the bee or wasp images are mine! I found them on Google. Credit would go to the deserving people if I bothered to remember.

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Comments
  1. eldwardo says:

    This is easily my favorite post you have ever made and one of my favorites of all FFI. Nice job Drez.

  2. luzob says:

    love the Hunger Games Tracker Jacker reference., you should put it as a nice. nice post, btw, and ARSE DAGGERS!

  3. I enjoyed this article about bees vs. wasps in nature and in pop culture and the effort you put into describing each.

    -RawLifeWizard

    • luzob says:

      RLW, if I may call you that, we enjoy and greatly appreciate your commentary as well, thank you for reading and we’ll make sure to keep up the posts.

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