Archive for the ‘Fisch Fail’ Category


Some of you may or may not have noticed I have been not as active a member of Fisch Fail-Inc (not that I was entirely active to begin with…) However, I with a grieving heart I announce I am no longer with Fisch Fail Inc. Nothing against the boys (and girl) at FFI. I simply wanted to go in a different direction and felt It was time for me to move on. We had some god times, poop stories, getting shot, and various drunken meed nights. Sadly, every good thing must come to an end. It’s not you guys at all, it’s me… I’ve found someone else, someone who wants to go in the direction I wish. I want to thank you all for a great and fun time. Though short and sporadic I will always cherish what we had together. With that said I wish the best for my friends and former authors at FFI.

_Adios, Drez

Drezirale

^ Sad I won’t be using that anymore. =(

 

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So I had a terribly evil and horrible idea a while ago while looking back at one of my favorite nerdy news blogs, Topless Robot. A former writer of said blog named Rob Bricken had a weekly post called Fanfiction Friday that I found to be disturbing, disgusting and so god damn funny it hurt. Unfortunately like all the good things in my life it ended when he moved on to (what I hope are) bigger and better things writing for i09. He did continue to do FFF on io9 for a while it was shut down after it was decided that being on the much lager site FFF looked like the big bad guy picking on the small, defenseless writers. This makes me a sad panda. SO after having to much to drink and reading some of my favorite FFF posts I decided to try my hand at this bit of satire.

So now that where this idea came from is out of the way I should probably explain what the unholy hell this is about. Basically I will be presenting a piece of fanfiction with my reactions as I read through it. Think of it like Mystery Science Theater 3k but with graphically disturbing fanfiction instead of terrible films.  Hopefully in my drunken state I can at least bring a bit of a chuckle out of any poor souls who happen upon this post and are unfortunate enough to read what I have. My other goal is to cause any of the writers of Fisch Fail to start vomiting uncontrollably, but that’s only because I love them so much.

In any case I should probably get this started.

Today’s story is called “WHAT’S 25 FEET TALL AND COMES IN PINTS?”.

Yep a Jurassic Park fanfiction by Michael Collins (I hope the writer didn’t use his real name). May god have mercy on my soul.

Warning, beyond this point is very NSFW !


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Six months later there were no signs of cancer in her lungs but now they found something in her intestines. Chemotherapy may have worked somewhat but the Doc is going to give my mom a more toxic dose to kick the cancer. The bad thing is that it will make my mom much sicker. A risk we must take. All I can do is hope for the best at this point.

That was the worst part of the last six months.

Now we are getting a bit more current in life and the area I reside in is being bought out by Marathon and of course I am just a renter and I have to find a new place to call home. It has been pretty nerve-wracking as of late but someone from above must have helped me out but in a lil over 45 days from now I will be a new home owner. That’s right Moonpie will own his own crib. Not too bad of a price and my monthly mortgage isn’t all that bad either, I think I can handle it.  It is in a nice area too! This was a big hurdle to jump over but I did it even with all the stress and worry.

Now in the last 6 months I have also become a system administrator for the church I attend. Not much work needed but I must be on standby. This job kind of just fell in my lap but I do this work for free. I don’t mind!

To go with that I still work full-time at my current job selling Semi truck parts but I have also taken a step into another direction at the same time. While managing a few jobs I ended up picking up another and it looks very promising. A business partner and I invested in Electronic Cigarettes and I am talking the real kind, not the crappy 800 puff E-cigs you can but at any Gas station. This is the real deal. Our company name is Hypnotic Vapes LLC. We offer a healthier alternative to smoking which can potentially save people who switch to Vaping thousands of dollars a year. We are already posted up in a store full time where anyone in the greater metro Detroit area can buy and start living healthier. We have many different types of E-cigs and well over 50 tasty Hypnotic E-juices containing nicotine. We have high doses and lower doses of nicotine in our E-juices. I will provide a link for the curious and a few pictures as well.

Here is the Hypnotic E-cig Starter Kit!

All you need to get started Vaping!

All you need to get started Vaping!

Here is a pic of our E-juice. We have over 50 flavors!

The Juices come in a variety of Flavors

The Juices come in a variety of Flavors

Here is a link to our FaceBook page so just click here to be taken there:

So for now I apologize for my absence, I hope to stick with this but I can’t guarantee it.

 

 


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So as I sit here with my fellow authors, Luzob and Mr.Fail, I truly feel a wave of shame wash over me. I’ve complained a lot lately about feeling stagnant, stuck in a state of limbo as i am between jobs and semesters of school, and yet for some reason I have been absent from our humble little blog. I plan to change that.

Every Friday will be Firearm Friday, where i will either post a video of myself testing a boomstick or write a post about a certain weapon that I would love to add to my collection.

Every Monday will be about something that happened at school, because as all you current and former students know, some seriously messed up shit can happen on a “normal” Monday.

Every Wednesday will be Odin’s day. I’ll be posting wisdom in one form or another that I hope will enrich your lives as much as it does mine.

Every Thursday will be Thor’s day. This will be a post about armed combat, sometimes including a video of said combat taking place right here at Fisch Fail Inc.

Our prior absence will now be followed by posts the likes of which NONE of us have ever seen.

May the gods watch over you

Måtte Æser ser deg

Grim

Grimnir

LuzObMoblize!

Posted: April 9, 2013 by luzob in Fisch Fail, INC., internet, Life, Live Events, LuzOb, Nerd, Technology

As you are most likely aware we are attempting to always bring more interesting and pertinent information in the most efficient manner available. Finally joining the undead ranks of smartphone users and officially posting from said device is my way of saying that despite our tardiness we’re going nowhere and will continue to bring the goods! That’s it for now

ALL THE MONEY

Posted: April 2, 2013 by eldwardo in Entertainment, Fisch Fail, Gaming, Nerd, Random
Tags: , , , ,

Hey Eldwardo here with just a simple post.

Ready?

Ok

Go play  Bioshock: INFINITE

If you enjoy an intelligent engaging story and amazing game play you will not be disappointed.

Seriously if you play video games you need to play this. DO IT

Yes that means every member of FFI

You lovely bastards.

 

m_bioshockinfinite_cityskytrailer

Eldwardo


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Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin (Photo credit: xomiele)

This day is indeed a grand occasion. Today is the day we all discovered or long lost relatives. This is great because well, they are famous. While we are somewhat famous, especially myself, our relatives are wildly known throughout the world.

So lets start off shall we:

First we have Mr. Fail’s long lost son, Jonah Hill. As you can see here, the family resemblance is uncanny. (Click the pictures to inbiggen)

FISCH FUCKING FAIL!

FISCH FUCKING FAIL!

JONAH FUCKING HILL!

JONAH FUCKING HILL!

Fucking crazy right? Here is some more:

Here is LuzOb and his brother separated at birth TheFrogman

LuzOb

LuzOb

TheFrogman

TheFrogman

Speaking of frog men guess what Fisch Fail Frog, we found yo daddy!

F3

F3

Kremit

Kremit

We cannot forget about Eldwardo and his uncle Zorro.

Eldwardo

Eldwardo

Zorro

Zorro

Taught him everything he knows….

Then we have Grimnir…

Grim

Grim

He is related to THOR GOD OF THUNDER!

....and rock and roll...

….and rock and roll…

No.. I lied it’s actually this guy.

Sam Huntington

Sam Huntington

Here is Moonpie and his boy.

MoonPie

MoonPie

Also Moonpie

Also Moonpie

I wonder if Moonpie Sr. is chocolate flavor too…

Here’s a good one of Ech and his lot:

Ech13

Ech13

Ech Clones

Ech Clones

I told him not to take that vacation in Kamino

In any case here is ErinLovesTheWeb and her pops Drew Carey.

Fucking classy

ELTW

Drew Carey

Drew Carey

Incidentally, Drew Carey is actually only his stage name. His real name is DrewCareyLovesTheImprov.

Then finally there is me…

Drezirale still alive!

ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sadly… There are no long lost relatives for… Wait what? I have a sister? Really?

tumblr_ltrauwISa31r5scgro1_500

 

Drezirale