Archive for the ‘Food’ Category


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This is going to  be a new pseudo-series. What I mean by that is: instead of making random posts regarding the content (which will be explained momentarily), there will be a portion of the blog dedicated to the topic. Very similar to the “Fischisms” page, with one exception.

I encourage you to submit your own stories. Stories! Stories, about what? I am happy you didn’t actually ask that, and that I was able to assume that you would be.

The new section will feature the dumb-fucking shit I’ve heard as a result of trying to change my lifestyle. Now, I don’t expect you to have the same problems, but chances are: someone constantly says something fucking stupid about one or more of your life choices. I encourage you to share this information, giving as much (or little) back story as you like (after all, ambiguity runs the fucking Internet).

And with that, I present you with a (growing) list of shit that has been said to me.  I’m going to kick this section of the blog off with a post regarding it.

As a brief aside, these entries will be written in the following format (and would be nice if they could be submitted in a similar fashion).

[Subject matter (i.e. diet, poi, drinking, etc)]

“Quote”

The reason for this formatting is fairly simple, if you can’t figure out the benefits, I might have to bad news for you…

But, I digress…

Vegetarianism

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

One night, LuzOb and I were drinking, and this pleasant little blurb erupted from his mouth… I really wish it wasn’t true, but sadly it is…

LuzOb: “If an animal farts on your food, is it still considered vegetarian?”

me: “……what?”

LuzOb: “What if they shit on it, instead?”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

A month or so after I officially stopped eating meat, I walked into my parent’s house, drinking a milk shake and enjoying the warm weather. Mind you, this comes from the same guy who thinks “Timecop” is the greatest movie of all time… Don’t believe me? Read about it here: My dad is awesome

Dad: “Is that a milk shake you’re drinking?”

me: “Yeah, why?”

Dad: “I thought you were a vegan, don’t they die if they have milk or some shit?”

me: “No, I am not a vegan, I am a vegetarian. I will still eat dairy.”

Dad: “So, you’re a vegetarian, and not a vegan?”

me: “Correct”

Dad: “Good, I thought you were a total faggot…”

no meat

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

When first relating the story of my new diet to my grandmother…

Grandmother: “Are you even able to eat anymore? Won’t you die?”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

When first relating the story of my new diet to the family of ErinLovesTheWeb

Grandmother: “We are going to order pizza… Want us to order you a salad or something?”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

When eating a dish of corn and peas in a basil sauce one night.

LuzOb: “We are you going to start eating real food again?”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

I’ve always been allergic to tuna, I cannot tell you why, but I cannot consume it… If I do, i become violently ill. A lot of people know this little fact about me. About two months after my official end to meat consumption, LuzOb approaches me with this:

LuzOb: “You can still eat fish right? I mean it is good for you…”

me: “With how long it has been since eating meat, that would probably be a terrible idea…”

LuzOb: “But you probably should, you know for your heart or whatever.”

me: “Sure.”

LuzOb: “So, why can’t you eat Tuna, again?”

me: “I don’t really know”

LuzOb: “You should try again, maybe you won’t die.”

me: “Do you even consider the things you say?”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

One night, ErinLovesTheWeb and my I went to get a bite to eat, and I ordered some vegetarian dish.

Waitress: “Would you like any beef, chicken, or steak cooked into that?”

me: “No thank you, I am a vegetarian.”

Waitress: “…Would you like it on the side, then?”

mistake

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

One day I arrived at my parent’s house to meet with them and just hang out for a bit… Being an average concerned parent, my dad asked me a simple enough question.

Dad: “You hungry?”

me: “Yeah, a little bit.”

Dad: “There is some meatloaf in the fridge.”

me: “Heh, dad, I. I. I, I don’t eat meat anymore, remember?”

Dad: “Well, shit. I guess there is some… Watermelon, or some other not meat shit, in there…

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

Misc quotes to come from various sources whose back-stories do not matter or have occurred too frequently to care about it.

LuzOb: “One of these days I’m going to cook you a vegetarian dish, and when you aren’t looking, I’m going to drop a pound of bacon in it”

Anonymous: “Can you even order pizza anymore?”

Grimnir: “How much do you miss bacon?”

LuzOb’s brother: “There is some pepperoni pizza in there if. you… want……. Nevermind.”

Poi

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

I have been spinning poi on and off for a few years now, as a result, I have felt my fair share of injuries, which gives way to this conversation, and proves once and for all, size does matter.

Guy: “Man, I could never do that shit, I would be too afraid of hitting myself in the dick… Or the face.”

me: “Yeah, both happen.”

Guy: “Fuck that, I couldn’t do it.”

me: “I wasn’t asking you to?”

Guy: “Nope, not me. Now give me glow sticks on string and I will play with that shit.”

me: “I’ve done both, these are actually much more forgiving that glow sticks, in terms of impact…”

Guy: “Fuck that, those things are massive, they must kill.”

poi

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

I was spinning in my front yard one day, and two kid walking down the street decided to ask me some questions.

Person: “What are you doing?”

me: “It is called poi, it”

Person: interrupting me, “Is it like karate?”

me: “Karate? No, if anything it is more like Tai Chi, wh…”

Person: again interrupting me, “So, you’re saying it is like anime. Man, you’re fucking stupid.”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

I was spinning in my front yard one day with Grimnir when a car stopped in front of the house and asked me to come to vehicle, briefly

Person: “What are you doing?”

me: “It is called poi. It is a lot of fun and can be quite relaxing.”

Person: “I see you out here all the time, and I was just curious. Is it like being a magician?”

me: “Not exactly. It is more similar to yo-yo than sleight of hand, although you can incorporate bits of sleight of hand.”

Person: “Cool. So could I learn that in a week or so?”

me: “Probably, not…”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

One night I was playing with some LED-glow poi in the front yard, and a “house-guest,” stepped outside for a cigarette. As a brief note, I would like to point out I have been sober for quite some time now (years), but we will see the relevance there, momentarily.

Person: “Man, that is cool as fuck. One of these days I going to bring over some pot and some hallucinogens, and I will pay you to do that.”

me: “You know, not all events are made better with drugs…”

Person: “Whatever you say… So when do you want to do getting fucked up and spin?”

me: “…Go away.”

I think that is going to be it for now. The actual page should be up and available soon. Hope to hear some great stories from you guys.

 
fischfail_sig2

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Six months later there were no signs of cancer in her lungs but now they found something in her intestines. Chemotherapy may have worked somewhat but the Doc is going to give my mom a more toxic dose to kick the cancer. The bad thing is that it will make my mom much sicker. A risk we must take. All I can do is hope for the best at this point.

That was the worst part of the last six months.

Now we are getting a bit more current in life and the area I reside in is being bought out by Marathon and of course I am just a renter and I have to find a new place to call home. It has been pretty nerve-wracking as of late but someone from above must have helped me out but in a lil over 45 days from now I will be a new home owner. That’s right Moonpie will own his own crib. Not too bad of a price and my monthly mortgage isn’t all that bad either, I think I can handle it.  It is in a nice area too! This was a big hurdle to jump over but I did it even with all the stress and worry.

Now in the last 6 months I have also become a system administrator for the church I attend. Not much work needed but I must be on standby. This job kind of just fell in my lap but I do this work for free. I don’t mind!

To go with that I still work full-time at my current job selling Semi truck parts but I have also taken a step into another direction at the same time. While managing a few jobs I ended up picking up another and it looks very promising. A business partner and I invested in Electronic Cigarettes and I am talking the real kind, not the crappy 800 puff E-cigs you can but at any Gas station. This is the real deal. Our company name is Hypnotic Vapes LLC. We offer a healthier alternative to smoking which can potentially save people who switch to Vaping thousands of dollars a year. We are already posted up in a store full time where anyone in the greater metro Detroit area can buy and start living healthier. We have many different types of E-cigs and well over 50 tasty Hypnotic E-juices containing nicotine. We have high doses and lower doses of nicotine in our E-juices. I will provide a link for the curious and a few pictures as well.

Here is the Hypnotic E-cig Starter Kit!

All you need to get started Vaping!

All you need to get started Vaping!

Here is a pic of our E-juice. We have over 50 flavors!

The Juices come in a variety of Flavors

The Juices come in a variety of Flavors

Here is a link to our FaceBook page so just click here to be taken there:

So for now I apologize for my absence, I hope to stick with this but I can’t guarantee it.

 

 


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So as I sit here with my fellow authors, Luzob and Mr.Fail, I truly feel a wave of shame wash over me. I’ve complained a lot lately about feeling stagnant, stuck in a state of limbo as i am between jobs and semesters of school, and yet for some reason I have been absent from our humble little blog. I plan to change that.

Every Friday will be Firearm Friday, where i will either post a video of myself testing a boomstick or write a post about a certain weapon that I would love to add to my collection.

Every Monday will be about something that happened at school, because as all you current and former students know, some seriously messed up shit can happen on a “normal” Monday.

Every Wednesday will be Odin’s day. I’ll be posting wisdom in one form or another that I hope will enrich your lives as much as it does mine.

Every Thursday will be Thor’s day. This will be a post about armed combat, sometimes including a video of said combat taking place right here at Fisch Fail Inc.

Our prior absence will now be followed by posts the likes of which NONE of us have ever seen.

May the gods watch over you

Måtte Æser ser deg

Grim

Grimnir

Skyrim PTSD

Posted: July 18, 2012 by Grimnir in Alcohol, awesome, Computers, Death, Food, Gaming, Grimnir, Health, Humor, WTF
Tags: , , , , ,

When you see the shadow of a bird and look up quickly to see if there is a dragon. True story.

May the gods watch over you

Måtte Æser ser deg

Grimnir Odinsson


Alright, so I know it’s a common phrase, especially today with this fucking “YOLO” busllshit (seriously, stop abbreviating, you sound fucking ridiculous) but for the love of the gods, you only live ONCE.

Honestly, have you really ever thought about that? Not just “yeah, I guess that’s true” but like “HOLY FUCK, I GOTTA LIVE IT UP!!!!!!”

I’ve just had this epiphany about 6 months ago, and life could not be simpler. I mean really, you need to just DO IT, because you may never have another chance. And if you get hurt, oh well that’s life. If it kills you, so what we all die anyway. Just learn to say FUCK IT every once in a while.

What I’m trying to say, everyone, is this:

Measure your life not in the years you’ve lived, but in the fullness that you lived them.

May the gods watch over you

Måtte Æser ser deg

Grimnir Odinsson


My vision is hazy and my heart is heavy, for I will not make it home.

The air is cold as I stumble towards the stream and my sword feels cumbersome. The wound in my side flows like the water over the rocks, and it is deep.

The wound in my back is deeper still.

The ground is hard as i fall to my knees next to the riverbed and i weep; not for my own death, but the death of my homeland. The warriors who come under the banner of the Christ god will not stop until our ways are forgotten and our gods left behind. I take solace in the fact that while i am dying, they are dead. I suddenly feel as though i could do with some rest and I let myself fall into the stream and shut my eyes as the cold water laps my cheek.

And as I fall into darkness, A light burns against my eyes and so I open them once more.

My vision is clear and my heart is warm

For I am home.

The air is perfect and my sword is more a part of me than my own beating heart. Where once fatal wounds had been, only scars remain.

The ground is soft as I stand on my feet again and I weep; not out of sadness, but joy. The warriors who came under the banner of the Christ god will never see what I see, never feel what I feel in this moment, and I turn to embrace the sight of that glorious mead hall. I take solace in the fact that, while my brothers and sisters are dead and dying, I will see them again in that hall. I walk towards the steps as the doors open, and a one-eyed man motions me to a seat at his table and says

Welcome Home

May the gods watch over you

Måtte Æser ser deg

Grimnir Odinsson


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? Thanks!

Hey Readers its MoonPie!

I have been gone for a long time…

peanut butter moon pie

Basically all I have done is working out and eating right.

I work out about 5 nights a week and two of those days are heavy workouts.
Hell I am down 40 lbs woot! for me!

Oh I forgot to mention I’ve been working my ass off at the job and with all of lives little stresses, it does not make things easier. I could blog about problems but who wants to hear my sappy stories, hell we all got em!

Lately I just have not known what to blog about.

So with that being said I would like the readers who can comment and my fellow authors to help fuel my mind with ideas on what to write here…. I am in a slump right now with no imagination!

Anyways I am sorry for being gone for so long, I dont want that damn Frog attacking me or its frog legs for dinner tonight…… seriously