Archive for the ‘Sleep’ Category

Fischfail on dreams

Posted: September 18, 2014 by fischfail in awesome, Dreams, Humor, Life, Random, Sleep

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Dreams are a rather funny and curious thing. Some people believe they have meaning, while others think they show us our life’s path, and others believe them to be just a byproduct of the processing information (who hasn’t had one of those strange moments of clarity, where you snap back to consciousness at 4:30 in the morning because you had an idea and had to write it down? Perhaps on a blog you have spent a considerable amount of time neglecting).

But for every good dream, there is the equally sinister dark one. Bad dreams, nightmares, night terrors. Whatever you call them, we all have them at some point in our lives. And for the most part they are universal (at least in terms of general themes.) And most people go through stages of nightmare.

When they are a child, there are monsters under the bed and in the closet. And in the child’s mind, this is absolute, despite being reassured by those they trust.

As that child becomes a little older, these nightmares shift from the fear of the dark and the monsters that reside within to feelings dealing with loneliness, and more specifically never being able to find “the one” (a silly thought in retrospect).

Later on, these dreams tend to shift loosing the person(s) you care more about in life. Or losing the things that make you “well-off (a car, job, or home for instance.)

During all this time, there is also the dreams that focus on the death of the dreamer. And, we’ve all heard the saying “if you die in you sleep, you die in real life,” a saying I can safely say is bullshit, and if not, well then I must be a zombie. So I have that, I guess.

But what happens to a person when they do not “leave” stages of nightmares and just gain a variety of ones.

I am one who has suffered from bad dreams most of my life. Many people have told me stories of me crying out in my sleep, clenching my teeth so tightly I cannot open my mouth the next day, violently thrashing about, as well as many other things. Hell, ErinLovesTheWeb has woken me from more bad dreams than I can count.

So, let’s start with that first “stage” of nightmare.

As a child I was terrified of the dark. In fact, I was so afraid, that nightly I would “booby-trap” my bedroom (with toys, jump ropes, chairs, whatever I could get my oversized baby hands on) at night, and it would remain so until the morning when I decided it was safe. This booby-trapping had went on for years and my parent’s “supported” it. But, I had good reason to be terrified, there were monsters, I could even prove it. I had a fucking “My Buddy” doll, and if you don’t see the problem there, then your childhood was bullshit.

 

This little asshole kept me awake forever... Because my dad is a cunt.

This little asshole kept me awake forever… Because my dad is a cunt.

 

Later on, instead of “growing out of these dreams,” I also had began having nightmares about being alone, and never finding “that one person who truly gets me…” Or someshit. I don’t really know, but I do know if I could I would go back in time and punch myself in the face for being an asshole.

Then, I started having dreams about losing those I care about. Some affected me greatly and others not as badly. I am a little sad to say that some of the dreams that didn’t affect me had a bigger impact than the ones that did (if that makes any sense to you, you may want to seek help, considering I wrote the fucking statement and it barely makes sense to me…).

Well, you see where this fucking story is going, so I’m going to fast-forward a little bit.

Blame it on being a coward, blame it on an over-active imagination, blame it on hot Cheetos before bed, I don’t care. But to this day, I still have horrendous nightmares… That I frequently cause myself.

I will often lay in bed ready for bed but not quite able to fall asleep yet. And my mind will start making a story (interestingly, I also do this while driving). Creating this fascinating pseudo-movie, where I am the main character and I know the script, yet I don’t know what is going to happen next. The twisted mind of the director determines the sequence of the shots to be done. And soon enough, the shadows on the walls will morph into the devilish teeth or the jagged claws of demons from the darker corners of hell.

And then the spiraling begins. Mind you at this point, I am still awake. But then the shadows become tangible beings. Monsters emerging from me depths of my mind. And suddenly I am gripped with paralysis, unable to remove myself from the environment. And then the drifting to sleep will begin. And at this point in life, the dreams rarely stay focused on the monsters living in my head, and will instead drift to more the “lifelike” scenarios of losing the people I care about.

And at some point, I inevitably wake up sweating and shaking, unable to fall back asleep for several hours.

This entire sequence is part of the reason I have so much trouble sleeping at someone else’s house. There are too many things I don’t know, and incidentally more places for those monsters to hide, waiting in silence for me to sleep.

Anyway, this brings me to a telling of my latest nightmare. I will try to explain as much as I can remember. But, we all know that sometimes dreams make no fucking sense at all, so keep that in mind, as some of the details are bound to be “blurry” at best.

I had just laid down, I was listening to some light music (I have no idea of the artist, not that it fucking matters), and I started developing this string of thoughts regarding a universal phenomenon of how children (some of whom are never exposed to them) almost universally have a fear of monsters. Oh, who am I kidding, I was actually thinking about the fact that I didn’t feel well resisting the urge to throw up my dinner, which would cause my insides to turn into a gelatinous mass that squirming out my mouth, landing in the toilet, taking shape and then strangling me (maybe, I do need some help…).

Somehow, this string of thoughts turned into moving shadows on the walls that slowly gained shape into more “real” beings, and I began to drift.

The first shadow I saw, took shape and started reaching out from the wall. I watched as the being’s arm got closer and closer, until I could feel the hell-beast’s claws sink into my leg. And then another shadow started forming. Soon enough, the two beasts were snarling and fighting over which got to devour this “piece of tasty, tasty fruit on a far away island.” Just as soon as the fight began really heating it, the window exploded inward as a third demon came flying in and ripped the first two into pieces.

 

Let me taste your butthole.

Let me taste your butthole.

 

Reality and the dream world then combined in an explosive collision caused by ErinLovesTheWeb bursting through the door to save me like some sort of demon-slaying, dragon-riding, curiosity-driven knight (she was coming in to ask a question). I watched in mild horror as the remaining shadow demon dissolved at the risk or being seen and the window “melted” back into place.

She gets the answer she is looking for, and closing the door behind her, leaves me in total darkness. However, this time I fall directly into the dream, my body having none of that shit where I cannot sleep and my brain won’t shut the fuck up, and I create my own nightmares.

Instead I fall pleasantly back into the dream world and this time, my dreams focus on my life exactly as it right now.

As a side note, we all know these types of dreams, they either end fantastically showing a possible glimpse of the future where everything works out perfectly, or end horribly showing how frail and fragile our lives are making us question our own mortality.

I doubt I need to explain which this is.

As I mentioned, the dream started out by focusing on my life as it is at this exact moment. We both have stable well-paying jobs with a steady income, we can cover out bills without worry, a reliable automobile, and a place of our own. All-in-all fairly well, considering where we were a year ago.

But then, something happened, on my way to work. The car died, and there was no getting it fixed. It broke, and then it was just gone, removed from existence, taking with it everything that was inside. This was the beginning the snowball…

That ball slowly shifted and began rolling away from me. Soon, because I was late for work, and then couldn’t arrive from several days (despite being able to easily ride a bus to work), I lost my job. This somehow meant ErinLovesTheWeb and myself could no longer afford bills (despite the fact she was able to cover all our bills before I got work), and we lost the apartment where we live.

For some reason, I were unable to move in with any of our friends or family, and became truly homeless. This caused strife in the relationship and we separated (dream logic demanded that this was the best solution to everything and was indeed permanent).

So, now I am homeless, without transportation, job, or food. But I somehow still have a phone and headset (so, I have that going for me I guess).

And then, I am going through self therapy, listening to music. And I come to an epiphany, ErinLovesTheWeb can no longer interrupt music or NetFlix (I totally still had that, I don’t even know how that works).

And life is starting to turn around, I can buy a candy bar and I do. I bite into a delicious Snickers bar and all my teeth immediately break and my mouth is pouring blood. And my phone dies.

And I realize I can hear nothing anymore. I have gone deaf, with the exception of an annoying humming noise. Despite everything, I cannot figure out what it is, but I do know it holds all the secrets to my life and if I can track it down, everything will be okay.

And I do a 180 and slam my face into my bedside table.

I am ripped from a dream via trying to become fucking Odin. It was then I learned the annoying humming sound. My fucking mom… Calling me at 330 in the morning… Because she fell asleep on the couch while on the phone…

Dreams are fucking stupid.

And I guess the moral of the story is: waking up this early is kind of awesome. I was able to write this piece of shit and prepare myself for the day.

I leave you now with one more song.

 

 

Deal with it.

 

 

fischfail_sig2


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Six months later there were no signs of cancer in her lungs but now they found something in her intestines. Chemotherapy may have worked somewhat but the Doc is going to give my mom a more toxic dose to kick the cancer. The bad thing is that it will make my mom much sicker. A risk we must take. All I can do is hope for the best at this point.

That was the worst part of the last six months.

Now we are getting a bit more current in life and the area I reside in is being bought out by Marathon and of course I am just a renter and I have to find a new place to call home. It has been pretty nerve-wracking as of late but someone from above must have helped me out but in a lil over 45 days from now I will be a new home owner. That’s right Moonpie will own his own crib. Not too bad of a price and my monthly mortgage isn’t all that bad either, I think I can handle it.  It is in a nice area too! This was a big hurdle to jump over but I did it even with all the stress and worry.

Now in the last 6 months I have also become a system administrator for the church I attend. Not much work needed but I must be on standby. This job kind of just fell in my lap but I do this work for free. I don’t mind!

To go with that I still work full-time at my current job selling Semi truck parts but I have also taken a step into another direction at the same time. While managing a few jobs I ended up picking up another and it looks very promising. A business partner and I invested in Electronic Cigarettes and I am talking the real kind, not the crappy 800 puff E-cigs you can but at any Gas station. This is the real deal. Our company name is Hypnotic Vapes LLC. We offer a healthier alternative to smoking which can potentially save people who switch to Vaping thousands of dollars a year. We are already posted up in a store full time where anyone in the greater metro Detroit area can buy and start living healthier. We have many different types of E-cigs and well over 50 tasty Hypnotic E-juices containing nicotine. We have high doses and lower doses of nicotine in our E-juices. I will provide a link for the curious and a few pictures as well.

Here is the Hypnotic E-cig Starter Kit!

All you need to get started Vaping!

All you need to get started Vaping!

Here is a pic of our E-juice. We have over 50 flavors!

The Juices come in a variety of Flavors

The Juices come in a variety of Flavors

Here is a link to our FaceBook page so just click here to be taken there:

So for now I apologize for my absence, I hope to stick with this but I can’t guarantee it.

 

 


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I had this Crazy Dream the other night!

I never remember my dreams but I know I do dream so on occasion I will have a dream so vivid that I remember it. Since I did this time I think I will share it with you all…..

So the other night after a long days work and running errands and what have you, I passed out in my recliner, fear filled and in a state of shock when I awoken!

Some of you may remember the RPG Final Fantasy 7 (totally awesome game) and Ultima Weapon!

This guy was an optional boss in the game to receive the Ultimate weapon for Cloud.  I am sure you all remember Cloud right?

Well I started dreaming that the world was in Chaos due to a massive flying machine, I was like WTH! This cannot be real! It was all over the news and I was thinking did SkyNet take over or something but it was even crazier. That machine flying in the air, destroying everything in its path was Ultima Weapon! I freaked out but I knew that as long as you were not in its line of sight you had nothing to worry about.

I know I know it’s just a dream though and it gets weirder!

This massive weapon was flying around the neighborhood and I was like Barret (seen below)

from Final Fantasy and had this huge ass gun that is supposed to take down this weapon! Haha So I stood outside with this crazy real life weapon that would only be found in the game because the gun was bigger than I was, yet I had the strength to wield it for a tough battle ahead.

That my friends would prove to be futile!

Ultima Weapon spotted me outside on the back porch and swooped down from the sky for a fierce battle. I started unloading these ear pounding bullets into Ultima Weapon but did nothing and just as I started to realize I am fucked and out of Potions.

Ultima Weapon snatched the weapon from my hands and broke it in half as I fled for the door to run in the house. That would prove to be futile as well for my Mother and Sister were in there.

Let me tell ya, at this point my heart is beating a hundred miles an hour. I am so freaking scared and have not realized it was not real and wake up.

So I ran past my mother into the room where my sister was and I just sat there. I heard Ultima weapon using some type of mysterious force destroying everything in its path and then I heard my mother screaming. Then silence as I sat scared as shit with my eyes closed, my sister was doing the same thing on the other side of the room. My dumb ass didn’t hide but sat on the bed in front of the door while it was open.

Shaking and scared I peered open my eyes and then Ultima flashed past the room and I was like OMG! Next thing you know it he was in the room and came right at me and in a split second it was over! I was dead and sat there in my dream in total darkness, silent, no movement, heart pounding and I woke up! I had chills down my spine as I sat there a few moments and came to realize it was all just a dream!

That was a messed up dream people. I couldn’t go back to sleep for a while after that.

Although it was a crazy dream it makes me want to whip out the PS2 and start another game of FFVII

Until next time people, keep reading our blog! We have a lot more in store for you!


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Since neither Drezirale nor LuzOb could give this story to the Internet, I decided to step up to the plate and make it myself, although I

Turkey internet ban protest 2011

Image via Wikipedia

don’t remember (nor do I know) all the details (perhaps one of them will step in a add some insight), I will try  and report what I do know.

A few weeks ago (I don’t know the exact date off hand), I got home from school on a Saturday afternoon extremely tired. If I recall I hadn’t slept the night before (fuck you insomnia!), and went to school completely exhausted. Upon returning home, I decided I would check my email, and while doing so, starting falling asleep at my computer. After much discussion, LuzOb and Drezirale convinced me to go to bed (this being around 19:00 our time).

I trudge down the hallway and in a slate of exhausted delirium, I stumble into bed and proceed to get some of the best sleep I have ever received. A short while later, I wake up with an incredible urge and pressure building in my bladder. An urge I could no longer ignore. I climb out of bed, put on my robe, and stumble into the bathroom in the same drunken delirium that I previously described.

I distinctly remember walking to the bathroom, emptying my bladder, and felt a sense of relief flush over my body as I flushed the toilet.

That is the last thing that I clearly remember…

Then everything gets fuzzy.

After I flushed the toilet, I apparently decided to leave the bathroom, turn the wrong direction (back towards the living room), and walked into the unoccupied bedroom of Drezirale (he was in the living room at the time).

The next thing I know, Drezirale is beating at me silently demanding to know “what the fuck am I doing in his bedroom!?” This continues on for a while, with me never being able to fully wake up. Eventually my eyes peel open, and something seems wrong, something is out of the ordinary. My bed is the wrong firmness… It’s too hard. The room is too bright… Why the fuck is Harley Quinn staring me in the face? Where the fuck did I get a television?

Then it dawns on me. This is not the bedroom I sleep in every night…In fact, there is nothing about this bedroom that greets me by saying “hello fishfail, wouldn’t you like to rest?” Instead, this room screams “get the fuck out!”

I wearily climb out of the bed, and stumble back into the living room, where LuzOb and Drezirale are both sharing a laugh at my expense…

I bleakly look around, and realize it is only about 20:00. I had been asleep for less than an hour before the excursion to the bathroom… To this day, I still don’t know exactly what happened… All I do know is I awoke in the wrong bed, in the wrong room, smelling the wrong smells…

God, I wish I could blame this entire experience on drugs and/or alcohol…

But I cannot, just severe sleep deprivation… Fucking awesome.


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Fisch Fail, INC, is still a baby, still growing, still something…infant

If we were a human baby, we would be learning to speak, and maybe eat something that didn’t have the consistency of baby food. But fuck, we’ve already moved on to tacos and alcohol… Says something about us!

Anyway, yesterday we hit a random milestone… 20,000 views (and damnit, I was going to make sure I got to make this announcement!).

So, it took us nearly a year and a half to get our first 10,000… It took us 6 months, to get our second.

Lets try and beat that record (for us) even quicker.

Tell everyone about FFI, let’s do it!

 

 

 


Copyright Symbols

Image by MikeBlogs via Flickr

Today is the day warriors of the internet. Today we fight back, we take control this is our stand and we will not back down.

For those of you who do not know, today marks the blackout day for the internet. a bunch of sites are going black including our very own FischFail Inc site. Many of the websites have already started, for us however we start in fifteen minutes.

SOPA, is a bill trying to get passed that will block websites that contain links to copyrighted material. EVEN IF YOU OWN IT!

PIPA gives your ISP and other copyright holders means to block certain websites. If your ISP has money with one search engine they may block Google for the hell of it. DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN!

STAND UP AND FIGHT!

See you in 12 hours!


I’m talking about stupid amounts of excess and hedonism…

Hopefully now I have your attention…

So we’ve once again outdone ourselves here at FFI. We’ve created a holiday! There is nothing official whatsoever to this, so don’t start marking your calendars.

Though the concept is beyond old, the name is something of my own creation. Honestly it was a term that I kinda stole, but it’s not like I’m publishing anything important on it (see above about “nothing official”) but now that I’ve covered my ass it’s time for the unveiling.

We now have a L.A.B. Day… otherwise known as “Like a Boss Day”. As you have been forewarned, you most likely know what the term is from, but I can assure you, this day is something as old as the first get-together of humanity.

As the first line says: I’m talking about stupid amounts of excess and hedonism.

Some basic rules of Labday:

Everyone can celebrate Labday differently, which is the beauty of Labday. Do you smoke a lot? Drink? Eat? Sleep? Fuck? Whatever vices that are at your immediate fingertips is fair game on Labday. While our Labday certainly did not include every vice we could muster, it was the combination of a few not-so-good for us hobbies that is the essence of Labday.

Next: it’s whenever the fuck you want it. The ONE thing I hate about holidays is the fact that they are (usually) once a year, at the same time: Bo-fucking-ring… Our Labday is a celebration not only of vice, but of spontaneity. Get a big paycheck? Labday. Get fired? Labday. Wake up on the wrong side o’ the bed? Labday. Wake up at all?!? LABDAY!

Now I want you to know this is not an everyday (or even every week) sort of deal here… The true perfection of Labday is the fact that excess IS excess due to your normal intake. Example: if you get drunk/high/laid/whathaveyou once a month, and you happen to find yourself doing all of those several times within a single night… You might be at a party… Now if it’s all for the sake of just enjoying the company of your closest friends and yourself, you may have a Labday on your hands.

My Day consisted of just myself, Eldwardo, and Mr. Fail enjoying the things we like. Now I can attest to my own actions: enjoying my new Vanilla pipe tobacco with a lil cherry in it, and sipping on a raspberry rum and tea concoction, all while smashing on meat snacks and a chocolate bar. May sound disgusting to some, and downright boring to others, but it was the fact that I was sitting on my porch at night during a cool spell in the Summer with two of my best homies for the sake of enjoying life, Like a Boss, is what makes this Labday. We had a few laughs, got to relax for once, and not only learned a lil bit about one another, but of ourselves. By no means were we “fucked up” or anything, but honestly if that’s the way you personally party, by all means rock out.

“May we enjoy life in the modern day for just a small amount greater, if we were to live briefly like our ancestors before: simple, genuine, and drunk.” – Luz

Happy Like a Boss Day to everyone!