On the Origin of the Species

Posted: January 26, 2016 by Grimnir in Random

Hey Fisch-Failures…



Anywho, I’m going through a degree program right now for geology, eventually to be a paleontologist. Because dinosaurs are awesome, lets be honest. To be fair, vertebrate paleontology is only one part of the field, but that’s what I’m doing. I love it, it’s super awesome.

I’m reading Charles Darwin’s On the origin of the Species right now. I mention this because anyone outside of the field of biology or geology, or any field that concerns evolution, would probably get 3 pages in and say “FUUUUUUCCCCKKK THAT”. It’s super dry. Seriously, he goes on for 20 pages about pigeons. Really slow read. But I love it. I say this because everyone should find their Darwin. That something that many others would never do in a million years. Yeah, you have to make money and all that, but don’t settle for being miserable the rest of your life. There are ways to have your cake and eat it, too. Work for a living, but live for your passion.






One day at a time

Posted: January 26, 2016 by Grimnir in Random

Life is not easy. I’m not sure it was ever meant to be. Day in and day out, we all scramble to keep up with it all. I decided to start writing again while sitting in my journalism class on a particularly stressful day, as I came to the realization that without an outlet I would eventually blow a fuse. I think everyone needs something like this; a hobby or a space of their own where they can attempt to mentally and emotionally tackle the things that threaten to bring them crashing down every day.


My grandfather died recently. Or at least it still feels recent. I don’t like saying “he passed” or “he left us”, because it doesn’t work like that. Using every word but dead to describe losing a loved one doesn’t make it any less awful of a feeling, so why not be honest about it? To say he and I were very close would be a gross understatement. Growing up, my father was pretty much non-existent, so my grandfather stepped very willingly and successfully into that important role of male mentor. He taught me almost everything I know about being a man, and I am only as capable as I am thanks to his patient guidance.

Anyway, he had this shop in his basement. Whenever I wanted to make something or had a project for school, he would take me down to the shop and teach me. Every time I was in the shop with him, I learned something new. After his death, I stopped going into his shop. We never talked about it, but the rest of the family all agreed that it should pass to me; his space and his tools. I just couldn’t be in there without him, it seemed somehow cosmically wrong. After a few months, I finally opened the door and walked in. I started cleaning it up and putting everything in it’s proper place. He had school pictures of my brother and I on the cabinet doors and all the little cards we made him over the years, the ones from before we could spell. It was difficult to say the least. But he always used to say to me “if you use the shop, it better be clean by the time you’re done”. Somehow, from the grave, he was right there nagging me again. That made me laugh.

Going in the shop isn’t so hard anymore. Every single pen or ring I turn on my lathe reminds me of when he was here, and I smile. I would show him what I made and his face would light up with this ear-to-ear grin. Sometimes he gave a little chuckle. He never really told me he was proud of me in so many words, but he never needed to. We had our own language. For a while there, after he died, I wondered if I had told him I loved him often enough. I don’t worry about that so much these days. I think he knew.

Don’t ever let yourself wonder. Make sure they know.



There Shall Always Be a Man…

Posted: August 17, 2015 by luzob in Random

I want to let you guys know that it’s our intrepid author’s birthday. Mr. Fail is my best friend, and I simply don’t know where I would be without him. I know this isn’t some crazy, off-the-wall post about his exploits, but with the way things have been lately in our lives, I feel like a somber moment is appropriate. Tonight I will thank the Gods for the 24 years of friendship I share with him.

Thank you Olaf.



Also the Orbital Burrito now leads the French Revolution of 2058…

…Don’t tell Terry Crews. okay?

If it bleeds, it can die.

Posted: June 16, 2015 by fischfail in Random

Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is (probably) already done. Also don’t forget to follow my antics (i.e. stupidity) on Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Also, feel free to follow a possible descent into alcoholism at Untappd. Thanks!

Hello everyone.

First and foremost, I would like to thank all of our loyal followers who stayed with us in our time of absence. If I could thank you all personally, I would. And as for the new followers who managed to find our little piece of the Internet, and decided to give us a follow, thank you as well. It really does mean a lot to us.

Now for the purpose of this post…

A long time ago, I spoke briefly about the depression that has plagued my life since before I can remember, and I made the promise to you all that I would never allow those negative thoughts and feelings of my personal life to creep into a blog whose slogan is “Making fun of life…”; there is already enough sadness in the world. This turned out to be easier that I initially thought. The reason being, when I am times of darkness, not only do I have severe writer’s block, but a complete mental block all together. I can’t speak for how everyone feels when dealing with depression, but for me, I lose all sense of self. I lose all sense force of will and all sense of resolve. I feel hollow inside and fragile. And while I do feel as though any one person is attempted to be malicious and cause me to shatter, I do feel that even the slightest touch would cause me to crumble and collapse in on myself.

And yet, despite making this blog as a way to deal with my depression, I never wanted to write while depressed if that makes sense.

And it wasn’t until fairly recently that I was able to put this into words. In fact, very few people have heard that description before today. Just like very few people know me well enough to know that in the past I have considered suicide. And, even attempted it on more than one occasion. Which brings me to my next point.

The other day, I had a dream where I did commit suicide. I won’t go into details regarding it, as I already said there is enough sadness in the world as is. But when I woke up, I realized the dream had really bothered me. Not because I considered it a nightmare (which is another affliction I suffer from), but because I then realized that despite all my best attempts I really do have a plan of action if I ever decide to take my own life again. After a day of feeling down and out of it, I finally broke down in the arms of ErinLovesTheWeb and told her everything. Really opened myself up, probably for the first time in years, maybe ever.

But, it made me realize something. I have a beautiful, strong, generous, and caring support group. And I’ve had it all along. I genuinely felt blessed (which, for those of you who know, is not a term I ever use). This is not to say the depression is “gone,” per se. Just a little more manageable.

For those followers of ours that suffer from depression, anxiety, or any of affliction, I want you to know, that even when times seems the darkest, there is always help and it usually closer than you think.

I can say with certainty that most, if not all, of the authors at Fisch Fail, INC (both past and present) have dealt with some form of depression and darkness as well. And we have all tried very hard to keep that from you, but I want you all to know, that we understand and if you need help, please get it.

As a final note, I would like to say, with a heavy heart, I cannot pretend to guarantee any sort of posting schedule any more. Besides, we all know I wouldn’t be able to stick to it.

I want to thank you all for reading this, and remember, if you need help, it is available.

Thank you and goodnight.


I Want to Be The One Who Fights for Justice

Posted: June 5, 2015 by luzob in Random

Today is a weird day…

Hello faithful readers, I hope all is well.

So strangely enough my strange day began pretty normal; got up, got coffee, jumped onto Twitch, and started watching random Youtube nonsense.

Now I’ve heard the combination of Brentalfloss/The Mega’s Megaman-based hit “Gotta Run/Be The One” but for some strange reason it really sunk in today.

I may or may not have written about this in the past, but here’s a refresher… if not for you at least for me.

When I was growing up I was in my own fantasy land, mostly created from the video games my mother played. Final Fantasy, Zelda, Secret of Mana, Earthbound. etc. so I grew up with one major virtue which stayed with me for years: there were things in this world which we need to save our loved ones from, and these “evils” could come from anywhere. Besides imparting a minor shade of paranoia into my grade school brain, it gave me a duty – to make sure that evil would stay away from those whom I cared about.

In time this naive notion eroded away like most childhood dreams. When my little brother came to elementary school I would see him get into it with fellow schoolkids, and I would come rushing to his aid. A year later he wouldn’t want my help anymore, and my small mind couldn’t see that it was just him growing up. I thought I just couldn’t help him anymore.

Eventually the harsh reality set in that I really couldn’t save the world anymore, and yet subconsciously my life has grown around the need to still help. I graduated with my Bachelor’s in Social Work, but helping others is a lot more complicated than I thought it would be. So slowly I became lazy and uncaring, and it’s affected me.

Even as I write this I’m slowly becoming discouraged, and wondering even why i started this post…

Ever at age 29 can I think I can save the world?

I blame Brentalfloss and reading Harry Potter lately…

I think I like the word “nonsense” almost more than any other non-taco-related word out there. I’m not really sure why.

So I moved 200 miles away from the only world I knew. That isn’t to say that I’m living 200 miles away from Earth, it’s just that my world has always been a VERY small and confined place. It’s taking a lot of getting used to, and I’ve had a lot of time on my hands. So whats a guy to do when he basically is in a brand new place, with nothing but time on his hands? Grow as a person and branch out, becoming stronger in the process?

If that means drink a lot and sulk… then yes?

So here’s my attempt to not only start up a new hobby for myself but also get some desperately need social interaction:

This is the Official LuzOb Twitch profile

Once again I’m here to shamelessly promote something! But if I can’t promote my own content to my own fanbase, then who can?

I’m somewhat hopeful that this will end up panning out to something that at least gives me joy, and maybe down the line end up giving me a little extra revenue? Because you’ve stuck with us for so long I will give our lovely readers exclusive updates, and if you help me out I will make sure to help you out as well.

Thank you for the years of support despite my sporadic authorship.


Yay Capitalism!

Posted: February 14, 2015 by luzob in Random


Are you seriously about to tell me that LuzOb is about to just waltz in this bitch without saying anything, again, for MONTHS and just drop some random guy’s IndieGogo project in front of us?


…damn that LuzOb guy must be a heeeeuuuuuge douchebag.

Psst… by the way that “yup” up there is totally the link… in case you’re dumb like us authors..