Posts Tagged ‘Alcohol’


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Wow, what a weird fucking year.

Another year has come and gone, and like every year it is time for us to reflect on the year’s successes and failures, changes, and lessons learned.

Okay, so in reality we have done a post like this in a few years, however we usually all get together and discuss it. This year is a little different.

So, with no real care regarding the order of events here are some of the things that happened this year.

First, lets begin with one of the unofficial anthems of FFI during 2014.

 

 

For the first 8 months of 2014 there were two posts. A post regarding the sensational band, Baby Metal. And LuzOb’s annual post dedicated to the ringleader of this nightmare, me. It had been a rough year and summer for us all, and we were still reeling from losses and personal demons. We had all talked, extensively, about bringing “The blog” back, but never actually got around to doing anything about it. And once again, FFI almost went the way of the dinosaurs. And despite, continuously getting new followers, fans, and friends, we just couldn’t come back.

Then starting in August, we started posting some regularity again, even hashing out the plans for an event aptly named the #Tacopocalypse. And while the plan was the have the party (where no one fucking comes) before the end of the year, certain other events have prevented that. Don’t worry, we are still planning on having a taco destruction party. Look for it in Q1 (that’s right, some fucking business terms there… Because that’s we are, a business. Or something).

And now onto news that isn’t the same as always (i.e. we have this thing we are going to do… Look, we didn’t do it! Like always.)

Former author Drezirale, who said his goodbyes with us last year (Well, it was a hell of a ride), not only married this year, but also announced they are having a baby. Who would’ve thought?

After a few years of spinning poi, I finally decided to light a pair ablaze and hurl them around my body is a rhythmic pattern. Somewhere a few of the FFI “authors” (yeah, I’m calling you out, ErinLovesTheWeb(who is technically an editor) and Grimnir) have video of this event. Maybe one day they will appear here. Since then, there have been many other such sessions.

Next! Over the years, there have been many authors and contributors who have lived at The house that Fisch Fail, INC. built, and over time many of left the nest (so to speak). And now, the original member, the O.G. if you will has also decided to depart the homestead. Recently LuzOb announced he would be leaving his childhood home, in search of a new life, and while we remain in contact with him, our thoughts are with him. And in case you missed it, here is the list of authors who at one time or another have lived with LuzOb…

Eldwardo
Drezirale
ErinLovesTheWeb
FischFailFrog
Grimnir

In other news, one day I will learn how to use the tools presented here and quit forgetting to do stupid shit (like title the fucking post…).

ErinLovesTheWeb and I moved into a place of our own, finally. It is a crappy little one-bedroom apartment, that works well for us.

One day, I was driving home after a complete shit week, just fucking awful. And LuzOb called me and heard my having an angry explosion. Just flipping out, probably to a dangerous level. A little while he sent me the following message:

“Well our friendship is old enough to drink and I did that whole “learn to help” nonsense as a major. Lemme know what I can do. You’ve been helping me with a lot of nonsense lately too. Throughout my life I’ve had many friends, two actual brothers, and a handful of brothers and sisters through the Theod. There had always been one person whom I’ve called my Brother despite blood relation and even before a spiritual connection. We’ve gone through a lot there 22 years or so, and I want to let you know that you really mean a lot to me. I know things have been a little tricky and rough these past few years but you’ve changed so much for the better. You know those outbursts you had this evening? Those were the norm in the past for you, yet are a rarity now. Look forward, my Brother, for there are great things in store for someone as wonderful as you. Thank you for letting me know there still are those who are strong in body, mind, and heart in this world. Goodnight.”

My drunken mind, began crying. Thank you, Luz. Thank you.

In final news, for this post, and probably the year. After nearly five-years of dating, I finally got the courage to ask ErinLovesTheWeb for her hand in marriage. And as of Christmas Eve, her ring finger is shinier. It is pretty sweet. LuzOb knew about the proposal beforehand (kind of), and he demanded to know the details as they happened. So, when I sent him a picture of ErinLovesTheWeb holding up her hand and glowing / smiling like a fucking lunatic (unfortunately, I am at work and can’t really upload photos, but maybe I will upload it a little later), his reply was:

“I teared up. No lie.”

I love that guy, take that as you will.

For now, friends. I hope your year was good for growth, experience, and life. And if it was not, I am sorry. But, let’s try and make 2015 a good time for us all. Until next year, stay both safe and drunk. Especially stay safe if you are planning on being drunk.

fischfail_sig2

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ShotGun hitler

ShotGun hitler (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

No… that title makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to the actual post…

Seriously though, enjoy some safe-ass holidays and just remember that at least one of us will still be around to send shout-outs, approve commentary (hint hint) and look out for reblogs.

Thanks for making our blog everything it has become so far.

Happy whateverthefuck from Fisch Fail Inc., and here’s a Tank-esque Hitler just for all of you, as my whateverthefuck holiday gift.

 

 

 

 

 

Just Sit, Sip and Smoke

Posted: November 15, 2012 by luzob in Random
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

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Tonight occurred.

Tonight occurred just like any other night of the twenty six years of my life.

I really am as deep as a puddle in the Mojave.

Honestly though, I’m not really writing for anyone in particular besides myself.

I’m not angry; not bitter in the least.

I just sat upon my porch, sipped my whiskey, and took a draw from my cigar.

Rinse. and. Repeat.

Although I did indeed have music in my ears.

Theeere we are…

Now just think… visualize, if you will… a cigar in your left hand, and a fine beverage in your right.

…and that’s it.

Obviously relaxation should follow, right?

A chilly but bearable late evening, lit by streetlights and sconces. Eventually becoming brighter with every lazy closing of eyes. Tired? yes.

Sometimes we all need nights such as these, do we not?

My mind begins to wander as it tends to do; everything from the occasional sobering thought of loneliness to the solemn in-between where thought seems as trivial as sitting on a porch, smoking a cigar and sipping whiskey.

Those are the best times for me.

I’m not really saddened during this moment, neither am I relatively happy.

I am merely just there.

What else should I be?

i oft wonder where has my life taken me, but not tonight.

I know exactly where I am.

I whistle to myself the little piano tune in my ear, content with these nonsense thoughts.

I have homework, cleaning, laundry, worlds to rebuild and destroy, Gods to praise and ancestors to acknowledge…

…but for right now I need little more than

my cigar and whiskey.

Thanks for reading.


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Hey guys, I’m not sure why this was never posted, although there is several authors who could have posted this particular story.Viking longship

So, I will tell it. At least as well as my fading memory will allow me to. If I am missing something, I apologize, but perhaps LuzOb, Drezirale, or Ullersson could fill in the blanks, they were there as well.

I don’t remember the date, and even to attempt to give one would be an insult to all of you, I do know it was a warm night in June or July (another reason some of my memories are fading).

But first, go ahead and click play on the song below and continue reading.

The plans had been made, LuzOb and Ullersson were going to meet for drink, cigars, and all the festivities that go along with those. And that is were the story begins. Soon after Drezirale joined the party.

Click here, to continue reading !


There’s a man…

 

A souvenir Indonesian parang.

a goddamn weapon!

 

Wait wait wait… didn’t we do this shit, like… a year ago?

 

Oh wait we fucking did

 

Well I fucking did…

 

WELL THERE STILL IS A MAN!

 

THE WOMEN HE TOUCHES…

 

thank him…

 

FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF HIS…

 

GILDED.

 

PENIS.

 

OOOOFFF WIIIIISSSDOM!

 

 

 

there is a man…

 

that…

 

FOUND HIS ORBITAL BURRITO!

 

MADE THE SWEETEST LOVE TO IT!

It became pregnant…

and gave birth to TERRY CREWS!

His left foot is an opalescent shotgun the can fire flaming Hostess Snowballs…

if he wants it to…

His right foot is…

Mjölnir!

and when he skips down the road he creates

ORGIES AND RAGNAROK AT THE SAME TIME!

WITH ZOMBIES!

After many months I was able to contact the King of England

WHY?!

BECAUSE IT’S HIS SHIT!

So who is he?

Who is this Poseidon of Earth?

…this Gaia of the seas?

well hell, I dunno… the end.

NO!

WE ALLLLLL KNOW WHO THIS MAN IS!

HE IS…

FISCH FUCKING FAIL!

That’s right…

and once again it’s his goddamn day of fucking birth!

So if you know what’s good for you…

Send him some money

Send him some booze

Send him a bunny

GIVE HIM SOME VIEWS!

 

I said it last year, and I’ll quote it right now:

“This man is the friend I’ve always wanted and the brother I’ve always needed.

Just know you’re (STILL) appreciated, Mr. Fail.”

…and the best part? Unlike last year I can literally punch him in the dick because he is within the same walls as me.

Thank you Mr. Fail for everything, and have a happy fucking birthday.


Alright, so I know it’s a common phrase, especially today with this fucking “YOLO” busllshit (seriously, stop abbreviating, you sound fucking ridiculous) but for the love of the gods, you only live ONCE.

Honestly, have you really ever thought about that? Not just “yeah, I guess that’s true” but like “HOLY FUCK, I GOTTA LIVE IT UP!!!!!!”

I’ve just had this epiphany about 6 months ago, and life could not be simpler. I mean really, you need to just DO IT, because you may never have another chance. And if you get hurt, oh well that’s life. If it kills you, so what we all die anyway. Just learn to say FUCK IT every once in a while.

What I’m trying to say, everyone, is this:

Measure your life not in the years you’ve lived, but in the fullness that you lived them.

May the gods watch over you

Måtte Æser ser deg

Grimnir Odinsson


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

You guys get no description with this one…