Posts Tagged ‘Drugs’


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Apparently, it is now my turn to post some odd video from YouTube. Yeah, this is definitely from that weird part of Youtube, the part of Youtube that when entered, never allows you to forget.

Okay, not too bad, but the next video really has no explanation. However, before that happens, let me show you an image (it has nothing to do with the following video).

3221191_700b

Well, there it is. Have fun. I really do think “wtf vids” might become a new thing here. Let us know what you think.

What can I say? LuzOb’s “Don’t Watch This” parts 1, 2, and 3 inspire me to… Never sleep again.

fischfail_sig


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

One of my favorite things about this video, is the guy rocking on the “drums.”

If you don’t like that, I’ve got another one for you… It’s called fuck you, asshole… Or, you know “Strong as an Oak,” like it fucking matters anyway.

And for some good fucking measure:

You, dirty little sluts.

On a side note, tonight is AYCOoB, where I may let our readers have some control, leave comments to let me know how to kill them!

Also, there are two new fischims, that you can read below, but you can go to the fischisms page to read them all (new layout for that coming soon)

Him: “There’s chocolate cake in the oven.”
Me: “Oh?”
Him: “Don’t question it.”

“I’ve got to step up to the streets and take care of crime.”

Related articles

fischfail_sig

Great Scott!

Posted: January 24, 2013 by fischfail in Anger, Death, Drugs, Family, Life, Personal, Updates, WTF
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!
Survival Sickness

Survival Sickness (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So, I finally have it, the proof that I am in fact dying.

Now, we all now this is 100% accurate, since it is from the Internet. You can send you wishes and funeral donations to any of the places listed on my bio page.

Although, in case you are so stricken with grief regarding my imminent demise, I’ve taken a moment from my rapidly shortening life span to post them for you once again. I am such a nice guy.

Paypal (preferred method, help out my friends and family pay for my dead ass)

And maybe you can figure out all the following on your own, good luck. It has been fun.

AIM — fischfail

Yahoo — fischfail

Hotmail / MSN — fischfail@hotmail.com

Facebook — http://www.facebook.com/fisch.failinc

Phone (text or call) — 734-252-6387

Twitter — fischfail

StumbleUpon — fisch-fail

Skype — fischfail

Thank you.

proof of death


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? Thanks!

Since neither Drezirale nor LuzOb could give this story to the Internet, I decided to step up to the plate and make it myself, although I

Turkey internet ban protest 2011

Image via Wikipedia

don’t remember (nor do I know) all the details (perhaps one of them will step in a add some insight), I will try  and report what I do know.

A few weeks ago (I don’t know the exact date off hand), I got home from school on a Saturday afternoon extremely tired. If I recall I hadn’t slept the night before (fuck you insomnia!), and went to school completely exhausted. Upon returning home, I decided I would check my email, and while doing so, starting falling asleep at my computer. After much discussion, LuzOb and Drezirale convinced me to go to bed (this being around 19:00 our time).

I trudge down the hallway and in a slate of exhausted delirium, I stumble into bed and proceed to get some of the best sleep I have ever received. A short while later, I wake up with an incredible urge and pressure building in my bladder. An urge I could no longer ignore. I climb out of bed, put on my robe, and stumble into the bathroom in the same drunken delirium that I previously described.

I distinctly remember walking to the bathroom, emptying my bladder, and felt a sense of relief flush over my body as I flushed the toilet.

That is the last thing that I clearly remember…

Then everything gets fuzzy.

After I flushed the toilet, I apparently decided to leave the bathroom, turn the wrong direction (back towards the living room), and walked into the unoccupied bedroom of Drezirale (he was in the living room at the time).

The next thing I know, Drezirale is beating at me silently demanding to know “what the fuck am I doing in his bedroom!?” This continues on for a while, with me never being able to fully wake up. Eventually my eyes peel open, and something seems wrong, something is out of the ordinary. My bed is the wrong firmness… It’s too hard. The room is too bright… Why the fuck is Harley Quinn staring me in the face? Where the fuck did I get a television?

Then it dawns on me. This is not the bedroom I sleep in every night…In fact, there is nothing about this bedroom that greets me by saying “hello fishfail, wouldn’t you like to rest?” Instead, this room screams “get the fuck out!”

I wearily climb out of the bed, and stumble back into the living room, where LuzOb and Drezirale are both sharing a laugh at my expense…

I bleakly look around, and realize it is only about 20:00. I had been asleep for less than an hour before the excursion to the bathroom… To this day, I still don’t know exactly what happened… All I do know is I awoke in the wrong bed, in the wrong room, smelling the wrong smells…

God, I wish I could blame this entire experience on drugs and/or alcohol…

But I cannot, just severe sleep deprivation… Fucking awesome.


It’s been a good run so far with FFI, and although we have a few slow-downs recently, we’re still growing every day.

Rainy Lake - August 2011-13

Rainy Lake - August 2011-13 (Photo credit: fabfotophotography)

If you are a reader of one little blog, casual or otherwise, you most likely won’t understand the title of this entry, and that’s a-ok. If you’re an author, most likely you won’t either, but you should and shame on you.

This date, August 13 2011, was when over one-thousand collective brains got to see the beauty that is Fisch Fail Inc. It was also the day that I noticed our blog was becoming something of a big deal. Honestly until that point I mostly blogged for no one, except for maybe myself and Mr. Fail, but afterward I began doing it for a lil ones… I mean the readers.

Seriously though; you guys have gotten us to new heights, and for that I am thankful.

A lot of crap has gone down recently (more on that later) so the blog has gotten somewhat neglected as of late, but hopefully that will change and more posts will be on their way.

Here’s to getting 1000000 views before the end of the year!


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Fisch Fail, INC, is still a baby, still growing, still something…infant

If we were a human baby, we would be learning to speak, and maybe eat something that didn’t have the consistency of baby food. But fuck, we’ve already moved on to tacos and alcohol… Says something about us!

Anyway, yesterday we hit a random milestone… 20,000 views (and damnit, I was going to make sure I got to make this announcement!).

So, it took us nearly a year and a half to get our first 10,000… It took us 6 months, to get our second.

Lets try and beat that record (for us) even quicker.

Tell everyone about FFI, let’s do it!

 

 

 

Wipe the Dust Away.

Posted: October 20, 2011 by luzob in Random
Tags: , , , , , , ,

So apparently everyone at FFI are entering hibernation…

…which means that I can’t be the weakest link at the moment.

…which means I have to keep writing, despite how shitty I feel.

I HAVE A TOPIC TODAY! whoo!

Ever have a random encounter with an old high-school aquaintance, and out of nowhere a whirlwind of catch-up unsues? Yeah I had that happen today after I got some homework completed.

I use the word “aquaintance” rather liberally here, since her and I were not anywhere near friends, and only spoke on the rarest of occasions. I was the “Godless Fat White Dude that Wore Only Black” and she was the “Big Bible-Thumping Girl” so our paths never intersected socially. Recently she noticed me around the college and we never really said much besides the occasional “hello-what’s-

The hero of the story takes on two rats as a p...

Why'd I post this? I don't know! Image via Wikipedia

 

up-okay-goodbye” and off we went.

Today apparently I was deemed chatty (despite how sick and shitty I really felt) so she struck up a conversation. I was about to grab a bite to eat and she mentioned that she was gonna get food… until she saw her bank balance. I knew she had a long drive and (obviously) was broke as all hell, so I pulled a couple of bucks to give to her. Call me gullible, call me stupid, but I remember the (too recent) days of having to ask co-workers and friends for money so I could eat and wouldn’t let her have to deal with the same bs. My oh my was she happy as could be, making a big deal out of something (I thought as) unimportant. I sat and ate while she continued to talk about old classmates, and this is where the main focus of this post begins.

Her, I, and a fraction of the FischFail crew all grew up in the same city. While remaining unnamed, this town has been on the brink of self-destruction for quite awhile; long before we were even born. Crimes of the violent sort, drugs, gangs, etc. can all be found here. Until I started hanging around other cities I never noticed how bad it’s gotten. I never even noticed how badly drugs had permeated our own cohort (or age-group, for those not into Lifespan Psychology).

So back to the conversation, she rambled off at least four individuals who gave their life away for an addiction. I will admit here and now – I am terrified of drugs as a whole. I mean fuck, I think I may be the only person from this town that’s yet to hit a joint (that is what we call sm0king marijuana… for those white-folk reading onward [jkjk]) so things like coke, acid, shrooms, etc are mostly alien to me on a first-person basis. Not from a lack of exposure, I tell you… but anyway…

I knew a small handful of old classmates that OD’d on one substance or another, so with a combined list of around 9 or 10 this is an obvious issue for our class, and for our town. Our blog is usually not the PSA-type, nor am I, but I will borrow a quote from Sean Kennedy (once again):

Know Your Dose (from the Wog Manual).

I mean seriously people… everything in moderation… positive and negative. It’s what make-a the world go ’round…

I mean take our own blog: if we were to only write articles about poop contantly, would it be interesting to read anymore? I mean, if you think about it, even the word itself would lose all status if overused…

Poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop… say it aloud. Useless, right? Unless you’re in the middle of a busy subway station or in class or something… THAT would be funny… ANYway…

We love our readers, and we love those close to us, so something that would take you away from us would kinda blow…

I’m not being all Third Reich about shit – toke it up every so often, rock that beer, take that shot – but keep in mind that those activities are extra special BECAUSE they’re not an every day occurance.

Common sense is slowly become a misnomer… Your fucking brain can’t make useful decisions if it’s clouded 24/7, and you certainly can’t read FFI if the letters are trying to attack you, so lay off the hallucinogens sometimes as well.

Which finally reminds me that we’ve not had a LAB-day in quite some time, so show us some interest in a Hallow’s Eve FischFail Party and it’ll become a reality.

 

It’s a party in my mouth and everyone is coming.

Posted: August 26, 2011 by drezirale in Drugs, Food, WTF
Tags: , , , ,

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Synsepalum dulcificum

Image via Wikipedia

Well hello there FFI readers. It’s indeed been a while. I am trying to get back into the heavier posting like the other authors, lets see if I can do such a task. I actually meant to post this some time ago, but never got around to uploading the pictures. Well, now I have. Lucky you, huh?

So, a few weeks ago Luz, another friend (we’ll call him Jet for now on), and I decided that we would try these things called Miracle Berries that we’d seen on a geek affiliated site we frequent. The thing that Jet ended up buying was actually a pill form of the berries. Which is good because I’m sure the berries outright would be harder to get a hold of and more expensive. All the same I’m sure it’s comparable if not exact. The berries in which I speak of have the unique ability to negate the sour and bitter flavors of certain edibles. After finding out Jet had purchased the berries, we venture to one of my favorite grocery stores. We grab some exotic food, and some regular ones. I forget a lot of what was there but lets see if I can name a few.

  • Radishes
  • Turnips
  • Limes
  • Lemons
  • Dill
  • Tomato
  • Three Kinds Of Hot Pepper
  • Oranges
  • Mushrooms
  • Lychee
  • Prickly Pear
  • Avocado
  • Onion
  • Cilantro
  • Black Cherries
  • Garlic
  • Starfruit
  • Strawberries
  • Blueberries
  • Two Kinds Of Vinegar
  • Hot Sauce
  • Indian Assfruit (Bitter Mellon)
  • Two Kinds Of Cheese
  • Bananas
  • Cranberry Juice (Personal bane on me)

So we set this all up, Weakening Elms even decides to join us. Some of the flavor alterations were not to impressive, and some not at all. Assfruit still tasted like raw Indian anushole. Onion and garlic remained unchanged. Oranges however tasted like some sort of god fruit, limes and lemons tasted like real good lemonade. Starfruit for me tasted like Smarties, to Luz like Pixie Sticks, and to Jet like Pez. So a general powdered candy feel there. The stout beer Luz got which is normally a favorite of mine tasted almost like a mead.

The thing that threw me the most was the cranberry juice. I tasted no cran, I could actually bare the taste… It was almost like a really fine grape juice. That’s pretty much all that really stood out. Aside from the flavor tripping, that’s more than likely the healthiest meal anyone has had or will have here.

NOW FOR PICTURES!

 


I just came to a harsh realization, I am an angry 80-year man. Seriously, I now take more pills in one sitting than hours I spend sitting at the computer. And the worst part about all of that is…

There are more coming!

So, anyways, check this mess out. This is some of pills I just poured down my throat as part of my daily regimen.

Pills here!

Eh, you guys know the joke by now.

Also, why is every thing that was recommended to me for this article about video games? You damn whipper-snappers need to discover some new words, and start respecting those of your father!

Speaking of gaming, there should be some AYCOoB stuff posted very shortly, I know Eldwardo and Luz are both yelling at me about getting more posted. It is coming soon, I promise.


I love it when people call Fisch Fail, Mr. Fail. It makes me chuckle a tad. Here’s why, when I hear that, I get the image he’s a super spy like the well known British one. One particular scene that keeps popping into my head is when he’s captured by the villain and they are force feeding him laxatives.

Fisch: Do expect me to talk?

Villain: No, Mr. Fail… I expect you… to poop!

 

TRIPLE CROWN BITCHES!

Posted: June 14, 2011 by drezirale in Drugs, Health, Life, Poop, WTF
Tags: , , , , , , ,

So yes, this is yet again another poop story. Wait… When the fuck did we get all these other authors? Not that I’m complaining or anything. It’s actually, quite bad ass. However, I think we have more authors than fans. Soooo! We need more of that. HEY NEW AUTHORS! Do you have people who love you? Sure you do! Get them to view and comment! Okay so, my poop…

I should first start to explain by saying I have been taking medicine for Helicobacter pylori! Awesome yeah? Long story short it’s a bacteria in your stomach that can cause ulcers and even cancer. Anyway, the medicine makes me poop– a lot. Like, an uncomfortable amount of times. I feel like an old ass man losing his regularity. It also makes me poop strange things, some no where near as strange as the ones I am about to mention.

So I was about to watch a movie with some friends when I had to go, for the third time in an hour. All of my poops had been single logs, so it was rather quick. I stand up and turn around to flush. What I see next was absolutely mind blowing… I see a rainbow coloured log. I’m talking FULL spectrum from the rectum. They were not exactly in order, but that’s just picking nits. Now, I can understand red, orange, and green..Brwon obviously occupying yellow’s space. BUT BLUE!? Seriously, who the fuck shits blue? What the fuck did I eat that made me shit blue? Seriously, like what the fuck?

I talked about this with a few other people and it turns out I am not the only one who does this. Apparently, one of my friends shits blue on a regular bassis, and the other does it when they eat a certain type of food. Well this was a fucking first for me…

My first reaction to this rainbow poop was two things… Either I’m dying, or I’M A FUCKING UNICORN!

Seriously… Blue poop… What the fuck…

 


I’m talking about stupid amounts of excess and hedonism…

Hopefully now I have your attention…

So we’ve once again outdone ourselves here at FFI. We’ve created a holiday! There is nothing official whatsoever to this, so don’t start marking your calendars.

Though the concept is beyond old, the name is something of my own creation. Honestly it was a term that I kinda stole, but it’s not like I’m publishing anything important on it (see above about “nothing official”) but now that I’ve covered my ass it’s time for the unveiling.

We now have a L.A.B. Day… otherwise known as “Like a Boss Day”. As you have been forewarned, you most likely know what the term is from, but I can assure you, this day is something as old as the first get-together of humanity.

As the first line says: I’m talking about stupid amounts of excess and hedonism.

Some basic rules of Labday:

Everyone can celebrate Labday differently, which is the beauty of Labday. Do you smoke a lot? Drink? Eat? Sleep? Fuck? Whatever vices that are at your immediate fingertips is fair game on Labday. While our Labday certainly did not include every vice we could muster, it was the combination of a few not-so-good for us hobbies that is the essence of Labday.

Next: it’s whenever the fuck you want it. The ONE thing I hate about holidays is the fact that they are (usually) once a year, at the same time: Bo-fucking-ring… Our Labday is a celebration not only of vice, but of spontaneity. Get a big paycheck? Labday. Get fired? Labday. Wake up on the wrong side o’ the bed? Labday. Wake up at all?!? LABDAY!

Now I want you to know this is not an everyday (or even every week) sort of deal here… The true perfection of Labday is the fact that excess IS excess due to your normal intake. Example: if you get drunk/high/laid/whathaveyou once a month, and you happen to find yourself doing all of those several times within a single night… You might be at a party… Now if it’s all for the sake of just enjoying the company of your closest friends and yourself, you may have a Labday on your hands.

My Day consisted of just myself, Eldwardo, and Mr. Fail enjoying the things we like. Now I can attest to my own actions: enjoying my new Vanilla pipe tobacco with a lil cherry in it, and sipping on a raspberry rum and tea concoction, all while smashing on meat snacks and a chocolate bar. May sound disgusting to some, and downright boring to others, but it was the fact that I was sitting on my porch at night during a cool spell in the Summer with two of my best homies for the sake of enjoying life, Like a Boss, is what makes this Labday. We had a few laughs, got to relax for once, and not only learned a lil bit about one another, but of ourselves. By no means were we “fucked up” or anything, but honestly if that’s the way you personally party, by all means rock out.

“May we enjoy life in the modern day for just a small amount greater, if we were to live briefly like our ancestors before: simple, genuine, and drunk.” – Luz

Happy Like a Boss Day to everyone!

 


So, it’s officially the one year anniversary of Fish Fail, INC. What can we do to mark this momentous occasion? Talk about what we always talk about… That’s right POOP!

Now this was mentioned a while back when I spoke of my first pooping experience. There really isn’t much to this story but it’s funny all the same.

When I was younger and living at my mom’s I had to poop and bad. This was a make or break kind of situation. I ran up the stairs, and past my mom entertaining guests in the kitchen. I run to the bathroom. My sister was in it at the time and I REALLY had to go.

So I run further down the hall to my mom’s bathroom. Here is where it gets funny. My mom has a small counter-top in front of the toilet. I forget this as I pull my pants down with urgency and sit down on the toilet with all the ferocity of a Creeper about to explode.

WHAM! I bang my head on the counter-top. Ignoring this I continue about my business, until I see blood on the floor. That’s right, I split my head open while pooping. I didn’t know if I should wipe my head or my ass. Eventually, after I’m done I go back to tell my mother what happened. She took me to the hospital, where I got eleven stitches.

Oh, and by the way… Your favourite Internet Sensation has returned!

 


We here at FF IT’S OUR EFFING BIRTHDAY! We are in need of celerecreajubilation! What should we do to enjoy this wondrous week? You… yeah YOU… let us know! …or I’ll stab you in the face w/ a soldiering iron… seriously…

By the way… Luz is BACK bitches!

 


Fisch Fail, INC is officially a year old now. Celebrate with us! Buy us stuff! Or just send us some donations so we can continue to do what we do…  I’ve got some plans for you all. Including a few tonight.