I Won’t Apologize…

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For being as fucking awesome as I am. However, in the recent PerkDermp, I posted a video twice!

Imagine that, I fucked up… And normally, I wouldn’t care, because that video was fucking awesome…

However, I made this big spectacle about the video being a big concern for some…

So, I present to you the video that was supposed to be posted.

Also, fuck LuzOb for not having precognition and pointing out the fucking mistake sooner… Or something…

Here!

Also, in case you haven’t fucking noticed the tag “Tyrannosword,” that shit is hot… And I intend to make it a real word. Be ready, you fuckers.

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PerkDermp 6 (NSFW)

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Welcome to the 6th installment of Perkdermp. This time around I have a lot of pictures that I have personally enjoyed. Again, I am making no claims that these images are my own (unless otherwise noted), and I do apologize if you feel I have stolen from you in some way. None of the images in this post are explicitly NSFW, however depending on your work environment, there may be one or two that could be bothersome. And now, all the warnings are out of the way.

This week’s PerkDermp is going to start off with a short video, just to get you in the mood…

Incidentially, this is how I get ErinLovesTheWeb and LuzOb to go to sleep. And now, onto some fucking pictures.

I don’t know what this kid is dancing about, but I am going to assume it is regarding cake…. Or he is getting laid… Or both.

I have watched this for a while now, and I still have no idea what the fuck is going on… Although, whenever I drink out of Styrofoam cups, I have the same reaction.

Man, I wish I had saw this long before I started school… Although, I might have, and just didn’t believe it….

It is true. Fuck kids. Snot-nosed demon-monsters.

BBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Nicki has really let herself go since American Idol finished out this season…

Being a vegetarian, I can fully agree with this statement. Never has salad caused any awesome stories… Hell, for that matter, the only story salad has caused is Verbal Derps…

Perkdermp 5

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This is the fifth installment of the “Perkdermp” series… The more I do, I more I realize I might spend too much time on the Internet.

This time around I have a lot of pictures that I have personally enjoyed. Again, I am making no claims that these images are my own (unless otherwise noted), and I do apologize if you feel I have stolen from you in some way. None of the images in this post are explicitly NSFW, however depending on your work environment, there may be one or two that could be bothersome. And now, all the warnings are out of the way.

I know I posted this just the other day, but my confused erection demanded it to be posted once more… Fuck you, I’m allowed to repost on my own fucking blog…

WHAT THE FUCK!? Who the fuck thought this was a good fucking idea? Seriously, “kill it with fire” is not enough in this fucking case…

I hate ferrets, I think they are fucking disgusting and terrifying. The only reason I posted this is: I get strange solace in thinking that cushion is actually concrete and crushing the little bastard.

Not always, just ask the members of Fisch Fail, INC!

… For that lonely bachelor.

Poi… It is magical

Look, another Fisch Fail, INC author dressing up as Batman! Let’s see if this one can also become famous!

Good News Everyone! (Pic Heavy)

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Sarah Palin (Photo credit: xomiele)

This day is indeed a grand occasion. Today is the day we all discovered or long lost relatives. This is great because well, they are famous. While we are somewhat famous, especially myself, our relatives are wildly known throughout the world.

So lets start off shall we:

First we have Mr. Fail’s long lost son, Jonah Hill. As you can see here, the family resemblance is uncanny. (Click the pictures to inbiggen)

FISCH FUCKING FAIL!

JONAH FUCKING HILL!

Fucking crazy right? Here is some more:

Here is LuzOb and his brother separated at birth TheFrogman

LuzOb

TheFrogman

Speaking of frog men guess what Fisch Fail Frog, we found yo daddy!

F3

Kremit

We cannot forget about Eldwardo and his uncle Zorro.

Eldwardo

Zorro

Taught him everything he knows….

Then we have Grimnir…

Grim

He is related to THOR GOD OF THUNDER!

….and rock and roll…

No.. I lied it’s actually this guy.

Sam Huntington

Here is Moonpie and his boy.

MoonPie

Also Moonpie

I wonder if Moonpie Sr. is chocolate flavor too…

Here’s a good one of Ech and his lot:

Ech13

Ech Clones

I told him not to take that vacation in Kamino…

In any case here is ErinLovesTheWeb and her pops Drew Carey.

ELTW

Drew Carey

Incidentally, Drew Carey is actually only his stage name. His real name is DrewCareyLovesTheImprov.

Then finally there is me…

ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sadly… There are no long lost relatives for… Wait what? I have a sister? Really?

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Holy Shit! (Picture Heavy, also NSFW)

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Fisch (Photo credit: HamburgerJung) I personally think this should become our new logo.

So, Breeish called it. Almost 2 years ago at this point. She said, and I quote “^ I am surprised Fisch doesn’t have a post about this up.” I will be honest, I never actually took the time to look up what the fuck that meant, until now.

Wow, how the fuck did you know?

I don’t much discuss issues of poo, on this here blog (I leave that reserved for Drezirale who no longer posts because he is a cunt), but when I do, I something…. I don’t even know anymore, I apologize.

And now to explain my absence. I’ve been gone, deal with it, as for the other authors, I cannot say. (Although it, sadly,  may be about time to “trim some fat around here”).

On an important side note, remember that the “I’m Addicted To Your Mom” contest is nearing completion, and we are still accepting entries. Remember, with no entries, we cannot announce a winner.

Fuck it, who likes pictures (not related to the previous shit!)?

Eh, who the fuck am I kidding, you guys love pictures, and below are some random ones in no particular order. Have fun! Obviously, most of the following are not original content, sorry if I “stole” from you.

Beat that fucking horse, once again…

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Madam Red with Grell Sutcliff (Photo credit: davidyuweb)

Hey guys, it is fischfail, I’ve been gone for a while once again, and it is not something I am going to apologize for again. But I can offer a brief explanation as to my whereabouts…

Like I said, I’ve been going for a while, so long in fact that I (just like every other author we have) missed deadlines for contests that we had running, as well as our second birthday.

Now, you may be asking yourself: “What? You mean this place has actually been around for over two fucking years now?” But more than likely, you are asking “Why does that actually matter? You guys didn’t do shit, and it is only your fault that no one celebrated it…”

And that is true, to an extent. I’ve been busy, ErinLovesTheWeb has been busy, fucking LuzOb has been busy… We have all been fucking busy, and none of us have been spending much time around here lately.

Shit happens…

Either way, I’m saying this right here, right now: both the “FFI’s Next Top Model” and “FFI’s Logo Design Contest” will run another full fucking year.

But that is not the only fucking awesome news… No! We are also starting a new fucking contest. You guys have heard me discus the concept of “I’m Addicting to Your Mom” and you guys can become part of it. It is very simple, tell us a story, any story, if we like it, we will have fun with it.

For instance, maybe there was a time you got stuck in a couch; maybe, just maybe you tickled a moose’s vagina; maybe you lost your virginity to an entire testosterone fueled football team; whatever your story is, as long as it is real, tell us. We want to hear all about it.

Don’t worry, all the above information will have its own page right here on the blog, with all the rules and requirements that go along with it.

Seriously you guys, we know you visit us, we know you read us… Make us hear you; yell at us, talk to us, fuck you can even throw us a ham sandwich. We don’t care, just speak up, chime in, and let us know what you are thinking.
And I don’t want to hear any shit about “well, you guys do not have accounts on any of the things I like!” To that, good Sir or Madam, I call bullshit. We are constantly growing and digging our odd sense of humor into more and more locations around the interwebs…

Maybe you like forums, well you can click this fucking link here: Forums

Maybe, you prefer facebook: Facebook or even Facebook fan page

Twitter?

Reddit?

Tumblr?

Digg?

Youtube?

Delicious?

Linked In?

Maybe you prefer to text me personally? Sure, not a fucking problem, just dial 1-734-252-6387 into whatever fucking fancy mobile device is in your pocket. Send me a text message; send me a picture; fuck, send me a fucking voice mail. I don’t care.

Or perhaps you like only communicating via e-mail? Again, not a fucking problem, send me a fucking message at: Gmail, Hotmail, even motherfucking Yahoo?

See what I mean? We can be found all over the fucking place! And the best part is? Those aren’t even half of them… Seriously, look us up, we can be contacted and any way you see fit!Not to mention, here at the home of Fisch Fail, INC.

Seriously, at any of those fucking places can you send me comments, pictures, videos, whatever you want… We want to hear from you. Make it happen.

Now that I am done on my soapbox, we will see you later… And don’t forget to check out the contest sections listed above. Seriously, you guys might learn some new shit!

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Back from the dead.

Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

Hey guys, it’s me, fischfail. I bet you never thought I would return, didn’t you. Don’t fear though, it takes a lot to keep me down and out,

A child sad that his hot dog fell to the ground. Photographer’s blog post related to this photo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

although it has been getting easier to do so.

You will have to forgive me for not posting recently, between the veritable laundry list of illnesses, stress due to school and work, and a sudden onset of depression, I haven’t had much will to do very much. And while I will spare you all from most of that, I will share the following with you.

Today, I woke up with severe neck pain that prevents me from turning my head without excruciating pain shooting throughout my body, which is also causing my back to tighten back up, and not to even mention my teeth…

Obviously, not my real mouth.

But enough of the sad stuff surrounding my life.

Although the story behind this post is a little saddening as well, but for other reasons… I’ve been gone for a while; this is a clearly known fact (my last real post being made March 29, 2012). But I had a plan, a glorious and triumphant return: a plan that would make Fisch Fail, INC amazing, once more.

Sadly though, that plan was dashed away by the sudden and somewhat concerning disappearance of someone who has had very little mention here: StarStorm.

It would have been a post surrounding one of the two things authors of Fisch Fail, INC can actually admit to enjoying: video games and attractive women. This particular story would have focused on gaming and one very amazing online interaction that I personally encountered.

However, since that is likely to have gone out the door I am here to make this post, which will actually be combining a couple of posts that I had planned on making.

But now that I am done with the second sad bit of this post, it is time to move on to fun! Most of the following does not need further explanation… Or maybe they do, I am not really sure.

How did they know?

…I don’t even know…

Uhhhhhh, what is his name?

Actually, I saw this while driving to school. Unfortunately that was the only picture that ErinLovesTheWeb was able to snap off before the vehicle disappeared into a nearby suburb. Either way, let us continue.

That is kinda how Fisch Fail, INC. is.

Admit, you’ve been there…

Who hasn’t wanted to beat the fuck out of the annoying kid next to them at the LAN party?

So would I… I think

I wonder how many takes that took?

Yup, exactly as I pictured it.

This still manages to creep me out… Please make it stop.

Get the fuck out of my way.

This picture is not only awesome, but will piss Drezirale off.

And now for Fisch Fail, INC’s first ever post including actual nudity…