Posts Tagged ‘Epic Ass’


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Wow, what a weird fucking year.

Another year has come and gone, and like every year it is time for us to reflect on the year’s successes and failures, changes, and lessons learned.

Okay, so in reality we have done a post like this in a few years, however we usually all get together and discuss it. This year is a little different.

So, with no real care regarding the order of events here are some of the things that happened this year.

First, lets begin with one of the unofficial anthems of FFI during 2014.

 

 

For the first 8 months of 2014 there were two posts. A post regarding the sensational band, Baby Metal. And LuzOb’s annual post dedicated to the ringleader of this nightmare, me. It had been a rough year and summer for us all, and we were still reeling from losses and personal demons. We had all talked, extensively, about bringing “The blog” back, but never actually got around to doing anything about it. And once again, FFI almost went the way of the dinosaurs. And despite, continuously getting new followers, fans, and friends, we just couldn’t come back.

Then starting in August, we started posting some regularity again, even hashing out the plans for an event aptly named the #Tacopocalypse. And while the plan was the have the party (where no one fucking comes) before the end of the year, certain other events have prevented that. Don’t worry, we are still planning on having a taco destruction party. Look for it in Q1 (that’s right, some fucking business terms there… Because that’s we are, a business. Or something).

And now onto news that isn’t the same as always (i.e. we have this thing we are going to do… Look, we didn’t do it! Like always.)

Former author Drezirale, who said his goodbyes with us last year (Well, it was a hell of a ride), not only married this year, but also announced they are having a baby. Who would’ve thought?

After a few years of spinning poi, I finally decided to light a pair ablaze and hurl them around my body is a rhythmic pattern. Somewhere a few of the FFI “authors” (yeah, I’m calling you out, ErinLovesTheWeb(who is technically an editor) and Grimnir) have video of this event. Maybe one day they will appear here. Since then, there have been many other such sessions.

Next! Over the years, there have been many authors and contributors who have lived at The house that Fisch Fail, INC. built, and over time many of left the nest (so to speak). And now, the original member, the O.G. if you will has also decided to depart the homestead. Recently LuzOb announced he would be leaving his childhood home, in search of a new life, and while we remain in contact with him, our thoughts are with him. And in case you missed it, here is the list of authors who at one time or another have lived with LuzOb…

Eldwardo
Drezirale
ErinLovesTheWeb
FischFailFrog
Grimnir

In other news, one day I will learn how to use the tools presented here and quit forgetting to do stupid shit (like title the fucking post…).

ErinLovesTheWeb and I moved into a place of our own, finally. It is a crappy little one-bedroom apartment, that works well for us.

One day, I was driving home after a complete shit week, just fucking awful. And LuzOb called me and heard my having an angry explosion. Just flipping out, probably to a dangerous level. A little while he sent me the following message:

“Well our friendship is old enough to drink and I did that whole “learn to help” nonsense as a major. Lemme know what I can do. You’ve been helping me with a lot of nonsense lately too. Throughout my life I’ve had many friends, two actual brothers, and a handful of brothers and sisters through the Theod. There had always been one person whom I’ve called my Brother despite blood relation and even before a spiritual connection. We’ve gone through a lot there 22 years or so, and I want to let you know that you really mean a lot to me. I know things have been a little tricky and rough these past few years but you’ve changed so much for the better. You know those outbursts you had this evening? Those were the norm in the past for you, yet are a rarity now. Look forward, my Brother, for there are great things in store for someone as wonderful as you. Thank you for letting me know there still are those who are strong in body, mind, and heart in this world. Goodnight.”

My drunken mind, began crying. Thank you, Luz. Thank you.

In final news, for this post, and probably the year. After nearly five-years of dating, I finally got the courage to ask ErinLovesTheWeb for her hand in marriage. And as of Christmas Eve, her ring finger is shinier. It is pretty sweet. LuzOb knew about the proposal beforehand (kind of), and he demanded to know the details as they happened. So, when I sent him a picture of ErinLovesTheWeb holding up her hand and glowing / smiling like a fucking lunatic (unfortunately, I am at work and can’t really upload photos, but maybe I will upload it a little later), his reply was:

“I teared up. No lie.”

I love that guy, take that as you will.

For now, friends. I hope your year was good for growth, experience, and life. And if it was not, I am sorry. But, let’s try and make 2015 a good time for us all. Until next year, stay both safe and drunk. Especially stay safe if you are planning on being drunk.

fischfail_sig2

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Posted: November 17, 2014 by fischfail in Gaming, Updates
Tags: , , ,

Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is (probably) already done. Also don’t forget to follow my antics (i.e. stupidity) on Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Also, feel free to follow a possible descent into alcoholism at Untappd. Thanks!

The first night is always the hardest. Strangers in a strange land, brought together under stranger circumstances.

Sometimes they trust each other just enough to make it somewhere and almost make a difference. Other times some crazy woman with a bag full of books gets everyone killed off before they even know each others’ names.

This, of course, has all happened before. Many times, but this time is different. I can’t tell you how I know that, but I do…

A new environment. New enemies. New friends. New friends that might become new enemies (and vice-versa!). New weapons. New rules.

More coming soon.

tacopocalypse

In Preparation of the Tacopocalypse

Posted: November 16, 2014 by fischfail in Tacopocalypse, Updates
Tags: , ,

Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is (probably) already done. Also don’t forget to follow my antics (i.e. stupidity) on Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Also, feel free to follow a possible descent into alcoholism at Untappd. Thanks!

In preparation in the upcoming #tacopocalypse, I made a new image for the blog and I encourage any authors to use it freely.

tacopocalypse

 

Also, on a related note, Reddit has has once again provided this blog with an amazing image of the upcoming #tacopocalypse, and that amazing image is:

What time is it?

Holy shit, how perfect is that? Thanks to /u/BobTheBaco for unknowingly creating one of the most perfect images this blog has ever seen.

And, in search of that image, I also found this masterpiece posted by /u/DrRhymes who added this amazing image to the mix.

HappygoluckyDevotedLamb (1)

 

Did you notice the exploding taco in the second image? That is the exact sort of thing I am talking about for #tacopocalypse.

Well, I think that is enough talking about tacos for the day. Have fun followers, and prepare yourselves. #Tacopocalypse is coming.

 

tacopocalypse

Can you taste it?

Posted: November 13, 2014 by fischfail in Tacopocalypse
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is (probably) already done. Also don’t forget to follow my antics (i.e. stupidity) on Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Also, feel free to follow a possible descent into alcoholism at Untappd. Thanks!

Can you?

Can you taste the deliciousness of the taco as it enters your mouth? As you bite down for the first time? Can you feel the bite separate from the rest of the hand held tastiness?

Can you smell the taco fumes wafting throughout the room, filling the air with its delicious hunger-inducing scent?

Are you getting hungry? Are you getting excited to join the Fisch Fail, INC. taco party? Of course you are, don’t be silly.

So I promised an update regarding the Tacopocalypse, and tonight you receive it.

With LuzOb out of state and basically every other author living in the nether (hopefully training for their contributions to the Tacopocalypse), I decided it was time to let everyone in on a little more information.

But first, let’s review.

1) We are throwing a party. No one is supposed to physically join.
2) The idea, you buy / create tacos (recipe of your choice. See how accommodating we are?)
3) You take pictures / video of the before, the during, and the after. We want to see all the dirty taco destruction you have. Smash it into your mouth hole(s?), beat a taco with a baseball bat, throw it at your wife*. We don’t care what you do with the tacos, as long as they get “destroyed,” and you send us pictures or video and possibly hang out in a group chat (how else are we going to get that “Crunch heard ’round the world” sound?).
4) We would prefer you not to submit pictures of “taco poops,” although I don’t believe we are banning them (unless that becomes a major thing).

And that is basically the concept. At this point, you may be saying, “but fischfail, what else could you have to explain?” And I might reply with something like….

A date, motherfucker!

Or…. As close to one as I have currently.

Right now, I am looking at early January… Maybe late December… Maybe I am thinking New Years. I don’t quite know, but I am interested in what everyone thinks about possible date.

Seriously, let us fucking know. And let your friends know. Then have your friends let us know when they think the fucking date should be.

I think that is it for right now. Maybe a non-taco post soon. Maybe.

Maybe ever post from now until then will be about tacos… I guess we might have to wait and see.

And until then. Remember FFI loves you. We show it by staying away for long periods of time.

* Fisch Fail, INC. does not recommend actually chucking tacos at your partner, but if you do happen to toss a taco at them, we do encourage you to, at the very least, get a picture. I mean, otherwise what would have been the point?

Eh, maybe some real news tomorrow. Maybe.

But this weekend for sure. Real news, that is my promise to you.**

**I still suck at promises. Blow me.

Seriously, we love hearing from you guys. I love waking up early in the morning and seeing a bunch of fan stuff. Make it happen more often. Seriously, want to see my face when I see your interactions with us?

FISCH FUCKING FAIL!

FISCH FUCKING FAIL!

And because I haven’t said it in a long fucking time: Welcome to all our new followers. Feel free to interact with us, we are pretty sweet.

fischfail_sig2

The Crunch Heard ‘Round the World.

Posted: November 2, 2014 by fischfail in Random
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is (probably) already done. Also don’t forget to follow my antics (i.e. stupidity) on Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Also, feel free to follow a possible descent into alcoholism at Untappd. Thanks!

Just think about that for one second. A sound that people around the world create, (hopefullly) at a singular point in time. It’s not likely, but it would be awesome, although it is doubtful that you would (realistically) even hear your neighbour making a crunch sound and if you do, you may want to consider new neighbours.

But the idea of a singular sound produced by people all over the world at a set global time is the purpose of this post nonetheless.

I want to throw a party that no one shows up to. And, not like the previous FFI parties that people were supposed to come to and instead ignored. I want no one to attend this party… In person (and so help me, if any of you mother fuckers show up at my apartment, I will end you). On the other hand, this is not some reverse-psychology bullshit where I tell you about this awesome concept and then tell everyone not to come, and I secretly want everyone to do so.

No, I am throwing a party, and none of you are actually invited to attend in person. In fact, as of this exact moment, there is no date or time even set for this party. And I guess we have come to point of the post where I should give this party a name or at least describe the purpose of it.

The Tacopocalypse

That is the name of the party and the purpose is: the destruction of tacos.

This is how I see the world, everyone loves tacos in some form or another. Meaty / cheesy bastards, bean-based monsters, even ones containing no “rabbit food,” crunchy, soft. Hell even a taco salad. Whatever the physical construction makes it look like, it is allowed as long as it has the world taco.

Now, on the day of the event(remember that is yet to be determined), you will procure some fucking tacos. Buy them, make them, hell steal the neighbours for all I care. Your mission to acquire some fucking tacos. Then feel free to join us in a virtual web cam based world or just take pictures and send them to us. Eat the tacos, smash them on your face or the floor. Play taco baseball. I don’t care what you do with the taco, just send us proof. And the more tacos you go through the better.

In fact, user nicejerk from Reddit already got in the mood. Here is a picture of their cat named Taco, dressed as a taco, eating a taco… From Taco Bell.*

 

Taco the cat, dresses as a taco, eating a taco from Taco Bell.

Taco the cat, dresses as a taco, eating a taco from Taco Bell.

 

Now internet, do us proud.

More details coming soon.

I’m not joking. This needs to be real. Tell everyone you know. Then tell everyone you know again. Then tell everyone you know to tell everyone they know. We want people from everywhere… We need your help.

 

* NiceJerk and Reddit have no affiliation with Fisch Fail, INC. And have probably never even heard of us. You guys could fix that as well.

fischfail_sig2

wish this would happen to me…

Posted: June 18, 2013 by luzob in Random
Tags: , , ,

Tremble before my power


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

Writing from my university, woot!

So after a little while I am indeed back from my sabbatical from the blog. I’ve not been busy necessarily, just preoccupied with life and such. I’ve also been secretly promoting our blog once again through word-of-mouth, and thought that the promoter should at least write something… so there ya go.

In other news we should be getting a guest post from a different blog within this month, but this is not in stone whatsoever so keep your eyes peeled for that.

In partly related news we here at FFI have been keeping up-to-date with most gaming news and trends, and as an invested zombie fan and gamer I wanted to let all of you know that the indy-ish game company Undead Labs have been working on their game State of Decay (previously known as Class 3) for awhile now, with little in terms of a release date or any progress besides “we’re getting there!”. As of May 29th a random post on their blog gave the final release date (for the xbla version) of June 5th, or two days from this post. I’d give you the rundown of the game, but just check out their link:

undeadlabs.com

As of the personal lives of the authors, lately Grimnir has moved away after finding a pretty sweet apartment deal, so things have been a bit more glum around the house unfortunately. Don’t think that this news has affected our religious pursuit, though, as I’ve been looking deeper into the lore of Norse Paganism, including a deeper knowledge of the runes that I could only do solo. My attunement (my own word) with the Gods, while tentative during the roughest of patches in my life, is slowly strengthening with study and time. While this may not be something earth-shattering to our readers, it is very important to me.

Lastly I’ve been collaborating with a co-worker on a possible series of short stories that I will, of course, post here for everyone to see. He’s kinda smart as all get-out, so maybe he can help me with aspects of a storyline that I am lacking. Who knows… this may even become a regular thing?

(for some reason I cannot add my sig to the bottom, so I am saving this to post it later of let Fisch post it for me! ERASE)

As a side note from FischFail… Sorry I was supposed to post this a week ago…

LuzOb