Posts Tagged ‘Epic Ass’


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Wow, what a weird fucking year.

Another year has come and gone, and like every year it is time for us to reflect on the year’s successes and failures, changes, and lessons learned.

Okay, so in reality we have done a post like this in a few years, however we usually all get together and discuss it. This year is a little different.

So, with no real care regarding the order of events here are some of the things that happened this year.

First, lets begin with one of the unofficial anthems of FFI during 2014.

 

 

For the first 8 months of 2014 there were two posts. A post regarding the sensational band, Baby Metal. And LuzOb’s annual post dedicated to the ringleader of this nightmare, me. It had been a rough year and summer for us all, and we were still reeling from losses and personal demons. We had all talked, extensively, about bringing “The blog” back, but never actually got around to doing anything about it. And once again, FFI almost went the way of the dinosaurs. And despite, continuously getting new followers, fans, and friends, we just couldn’t come back.

Then starting in August, we started posting some regularity again, even hashing out the plans for an event aptly named the #Tacopocalypse. And while the plan was the have the party (where no one fucking comes) before the end of the year, certain other events have prevented that. Don’t worry, we are still planning on having a taco destruction party. Look for it in Q1 (that’s right, some fucking business terms there… Because that’s we are, a business. Or something).

And now onto news that isn’t the same as always (i.e. we have this thing we are going to do… Look, we didn’t do it! Like always.)

Former author Drezirale, who said his goodbyes with us last year (Well, it was a hell of a ride), not only married this year, but also announced they are having a baby. Who would’ve thought?

After a few years of spinning poi, I finally decided to light a pair ablaze and hurl them around my body is a rhythmic pattern. Somewhere a few of the FFI “authors” (yeah, I’m calling you out, ErinLovesTheWeb(who is technically an editor) and Grimnir) have video of this event. Maybe one day they will appear here. Since then, there have been many other such sessions.

Next! Over the years, there have been many authors and contributors who have lived at The house that Fisch Fail, INC. built, and over time many of left the nest (so to speak). And now, the original member, the O.G. if you will has also decided to depart the homestead. Recently LuzOb announced he would be leaving his childhood home, in search of a new life, and while we remain in contact with him, our thoughts are with him. And in case you missed it, here is the list of authors who at one time or another have lived with LuzOb…

Eldwardo
Drezirale
ErinLovesTheWeb
FischFailFrog
Grimnir

In other news, one day I will learn how to use the tools presented here and quit forgetting to do stupid shit (like title the fucking post…).

ErinLovesTheWeb and I moved into a place of our own, finally. It is a crappy little one-bedroom apartment, that works well for us.

One day, I was driving home after a complete shit week, just fucking awful. And LuzOb called me and heard my having an angry explosion. Just flipping out, probably to a dangerous level. A little while he sent me the following message:

“Well our friendship is old enough to drink and I did that whole “learn to help” nonsense as a major. Lemme know what I can do. You’ve been helping me with a lot of nonsense lately too. Throughout my life I’ve had many friends, two actual brothers, and a handful of brothers and sisters through the Theod. There had always been one person whom I’ve called my Brother despite blood relation and even before a spiritual connection. We’ve gone through a lot there 22 years or so, and I want to let you know that you really mean a lot to me. I know things have been a little tricky and rough these past few years but you’ve changed so much for the better. You know those outbursts you had this evening? Those were the norm in the past for you, yet are a rarity now. Look forward, my Brother, for there are great things in store for someone as wonderful as you. Thank you for letting me know there still are those who are strong in body, mind, and heart in this world. Goodnight.”

My drunken mind, began crying. Thank you, Luz. Thank you.

In final news, for this post, and probably the year. After nearly five-years of dating, I finally got the courage to ask ErinLovesTheWeb for her hand in marriage. And as of Christmas Eve, her ring finger is shinier. It is pretty sweet. LuzOb knew about the proposal beforehand (kind of), and he demanded to know the details as they happened. So, when I sent him a picture of ErinLovesTheWeb holding up her hand and glowing / smiling like a fucking lunatic (unfortunately, I am at work and can’t really upload photos, but maybe I will upload it a little later), his reply was:

“I teared up. No lie.”

I love that guy, take that as you will.

For now, friends. I hope your year was good for growth, experience, and life. And if it was not, I am sorry. But, let’s try and make 2015 a good time for us all. Until next year, stay both safe and drunk. Especially stay safe if you are planning on being drunk.

fischfail_sig2

Posted: November 17, 2014 by fischfail in Gaming, Updates
Tags: , , ,

Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is (probably) already done. Also don’t forget to follow my antics (i.e. stupidity) on Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Also, feel free to follow a possible descent into alcoholism at Untappd. Thanks!

The first night is always the hardest. Strangers in a strange land, brought together under stranger circumstances.

Sometimes they trust each other just enough to make it somewhere and almost make a difference. Other times some crazy woman with a bag full of books gets everyone killed off before they even know each others’ names.

This, of course, has all happened before. Many times, but this time is different. I can’t tell you how I know that, but I do…

A new environment. New enemies. New friends. New friends that might become new enemies (and vice-versa!). New weapons. New rules.

More coming soon.

tacopocalypse

In Preparation of the Tacopocalypse

Posted: November 16, 2014 by fischfail in Tacopocalypse, Updates
Tags: , ,

Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is (probably) already done. Also don’t forget to follow my antics (i.e. stupidity) on Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Also, feel free to follow a possible descent into alcoholism at Untappd. Thanks!

In preparation in the upcoming #tacopocalypse, I made a new image for the blog and I encourage any authors to use it freely.

tacopocalypse

 

Also, on a related note, Reddit has has once again provided this blog with an amazing image of the upcoming #tacopocalypse, and that amazing image is:

What time is it?

Holy shit, how perfect is that? Thanks to /u/BobTheBaco for unknowingly creating one of the most perfect images this blog has ever seen.

And, in search of that image, I also found this masterpiece posted by /u/DrRhymes who added this amazing image to the mix.

HappygoluckyDevotedLamb (1)

 

Did you notice the exploding taco in the second image? That is the exact sort of thing I am talking about for #tacopocalypse.

Well, I think that is enough talking about tacos for the day. Have fun followers, and prepare yourselves. #Tacopocalypse is coming.

 

tacopocalypse

Can you taste it?

Posted: November 13, 2014 by fischfail in Tacopocalypse
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is (probably) already done. Also don’t forget to follow my antics (i.e. stupidity) on Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Also, feel free to follow a possible descent into alcoholism at Untappd. Thanks!

Can you?

Can you taste the deliciousness of the taco as it enters your mouth? As you bite down for the first time? Can you feel the bite separate from the rest of the hand held tastiness?

Can you smell the taco fumes wafting throughout the room, filling the air with its delicious hunger-inducing scent?

Are you getting hungry? Are you getting excited to join the Fisch Fail, INC. taco party? Of course you are, don’t be silly.

So I promised an update regarding the Tacopocalypse, and tonight you receive it.

With LuzOb out of state and basically every other author living in the nether (hopefully training for their contributions to the Tacopocalypse), I decided it was time to let everyone in on a little more information.

But first, let’s review.

1) We are throwing a party. No one is supposed to physically join.
2) The idea, you buy / create tacos (recipe of your choice. See how accommodating we are?)
3) You take pictures / video of the before, the during, and the after. We want to see all the dirty taco destruction you have. Smash it into your mouth hole(s?), beat a taco with a baseball bat, throw it at your wife*. We don’t care what you do with the tacos, as long as they get “destroyed,” and you send us pictures or video and possibly hang out in a group chat (how else are we going to get that “Crunch heard ’round the world” sound?).
4) We would prefer you not to submit pictures of “taco poops,” although I don’t believe we are banning them (unless that becomes a major thing).

And that is basically the concept. At this point, you may be saying, “but fischfail, what else could you have to explain?” And I might reply with something like….

A date, motherfucker!

Or…. As close to one as I have currently.

Right now, I am looking at early January… Maybe late December… Maybe I am thinking New Years. I don’t quite know, but I am interested in what everyone thinks about possible date.

Seriously, let us fucking know. And let your friends know. Then have your friends let us know when they think the fucking date should be.

I think that is it for right now. Maybe a non-taco post soon. Maybe.

Maybe ever post from now until then will be about tacos… I guess we might have to wait and see.

And until then. Remember FFI loves you. We show it by staying away for long periods of time.

* Fisch Fail, INC. does not recommend actually chucking tacos at your partner, but if you do happen to toss a taco at them, we do encourage you to, at the very least, get a picture. I mean, otherwise what would have been the point?

Eh, maybe some real news tomorrow. Maybe.

But this weekend for sure. Real news, that is my promise to you.**

**I still suck at promises. Blow me.

Seriously, we love hearing from you guys. I love waking up early in the morning and seeing a bunch of fan stuff. Make it happen more often. Seriously, want to see my face when I see your interactions with us?

FISCH FUCKING FAIL!

FISCH FUCKING FAIL!

And because I haven’t said it in a long fucking time: Welcome to all our new followers. Feel free to interact with us, we are pretty sweet.

fischfail_sig2

The Crunch Heard ‘Round the World.

Posted: November 2, 2014 by fischfail in Random
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is (probably) already done. Also don’t forget to follow my antics (i.e. stupidity) on Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Also, feel free to follow a possible descent into alcoholism at Untappd. Thanks!

Just think about that for one second. A sound that people around the world create, (hopefullly) at a singular point in time. It’s not likely, but it would be awesome, although it is doubtful that you would (realistically) even hear your neighbour making a crunch sound and if you do, you may want to consider new neighbours.

But the idea of a singular sound produced by people all over the world at a set global time is the purpose of this post nonetheless.

I want to throw a party that no one shows up to. And, not like the previous FFI parties that people were supposed to come to and instead ignored. I want no one to attend this party… In person (and so help me, if any of you mother fuckers show up at my apartment, I will end you). On the other hand, this is not some reverse-psychology bullshit where I tell you about this awesome concept and then tell everyone not to come, and I secretly want everyone to do so.

No, I am throwing a party, and none of you are actually invited to attend in person. In fact, as of this exact moment, there is no date or time even set for this party. And I guess we have come to point of the post where I should give this party a name or at least describe the purpose of it.

The Tacopocalypse

That is the name of the party and the purpose is: the destruction of tacos.

This is how I see the world, everyone loves tacos in some form or another. Meaty / cheesy bastards, bean-based monsters, even ones containing no “rabbit food,” crunchy, soft. Hell even a taco salad. Whatever the physical construction makes it look like, it is allowed as long as it has the world taco.

Now, on the day of the event(remember that is yet to be determined), you will procure some fucking tacos. Buy them, make them, hell steal the neighbours for all I care. Your mission to acquire some fucking tacos. Then feel free to join us in a virtual web cam based world or just take pictures and send them to us. Eat the tacos, smash them on your face or the floor. Play taco baseball. I don’t care what you do with the taco, just send us proof. And the more tacos you go through the better.

In fact, user nicejerk from Reddit already got in the mood. Here is a picture of their cat named Taco, dressed as a taco, eating a taco… From Taco Bell.*

 

Taco the cat, dresses as a taco, eating a taco from Taco Bell.

Taco the cat, dresses as a taco, eating a taco from Taco Bell.

 

Now internet, do us proud.

More details coming soon.

I’m not joking. This needs to be real. Tell everyone you know. Then tell everyone you know again. Then tell everyone you know to tell everyone they know. We want people from everywhere… We need your help.

 

* NiceJerk and Reddit have no affiliation with Fisch Fail, INC. And have probably never even heard of us. You guys could fix that as well.

fischfail_sig2

wish this would happen to me…

Posted: June 18, 2013 by luzob in Random
Tags: , , ,

Tremble before my power


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Writing from my university, woot!

So after a little while I am indeed back from my sabbatical from the blog. I’ve not been busy necessarily, just preoccupied with life and such. I’ve also been secretly promoting our blog once again through word-of-mouth, and thought that the promoter should at least write something… so there ya go.

In other news we should be getting a guest post from a different blog within this month, but this is not in stone whatsoever so keep your eyes peeled for that.

In partly related news we here at FFI have been keeping up-to-date with most gaming news and trends, and as an invested zombie fan and gamer I wanted to let all of you know that the indy-ish game company Undead Labs have been working on their game State of Decay (previously known as Class 3) for awhile now, with little in terms of a release date or any progress besides “we’re getting there!”. As of May 29th a random post on their blog gave the final release date (for the xbla version) of June 5th, or two days from this post. I’d give you the rundown of the game, but just check out their link:

undeadlabs.com

As of the personal lives of the authors, lately Grimnir has moved away after finding a pretty sweet apartment deal, so things have been a bit more glum around the house unfortunately. Don’t think that this news has affected our religious pursuit, though, as I’ve been looking deeper into the lore of Norse Paganism, including a deeper knowledge of the runes that I could only do solo. My attunement (my own word) with the Gods, while tentative during the roughest of patches in my life, is slowly strengthening with study and time. While this may not be something earth-shattering to our readers, it is very important to me.

Lastly I’ve been collaborating with a co-worker on a possible series of short stories that I will, of course, post here for everyone to see. He’s kinda smart as all get-out, so maybe he can help me with aspects of a storyline that I am lacking. Who knows… this may even become a regular thing?

(for some reason I cannot add my sig to the bottom, so I am saving this to post it later of let Fisch post it for me! ERASE)

As a side note from FischFail… Sorry I was supposed to post this a week ago…

LuzOb


Drezirale


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LuzOb


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This post is all about Genndy Tartakovsky and his amazing way to slip what some would call racy material I call awesome. Now I’m going to post these videos in chronological order of Genndy’s work mainly for two reasons. A: Because it helps understand his what freedoms he was granted for which shows. B: I want to post the video I found that started it all. Also, I am going to throw a few other videos in here and there to spice things up.

So lets start off with one of his earlier works. This show is called 2Stupid Dogs. This premiered roughly in the mid-nineties. This actually makes a decent amount of sense as to why such a show would be racy as around the same time shows such as Animaniacs, Tiny Toons, Freakazoid, and Rocko’s Modern Life really testing the waters, some harder than others. Though we do really have to thank The Simpsons for this as well. As The Simpsons came into it’s own the really paved a way and took a fair amount of the flack for the programs to follow. I also would like to point out NONE of these videos were edited either a visual or auditory manner. As we proceed it may seem some of them are but a assure you, I have multiple sources that state otherwise.

In any case here is a clip from 2Stupid dogs:

Though, this cartoon was known to be suggestive there was another animal duo who emerged three years prior that Genndy did NOT have a hand in that pushed the bar a bit further.

I think you know I mean Ren and Stimpy:

With that out of the way we can start to move into the modern era of cartoons. Though Dexter’s Lab had it’s debut in ’96 I still attribute it to the collective of modern cartoons. To put it simply, late nineties and early 2000’s saw the kibosh being put on a few of these so called suggestive content. However, this did not stop Genndy. Did you know there was an unaired  episode of Dexter’s Lab with actual swearing? I kid you not, it’s actually called Rude Removal.

Here is the original Toonami TV spot for it:

If that’s not bad enough take a look at it’s Title Card:

Rude_Removal

I’ve actually seen the episode and can confirm this as all legit. I’d link to the actual episode as it’s only 8 minutes long but I can’t find one that stays up long enough. Though as far as Dexter’s Lab goes, that’s really the worst it gets. Other than that it’s relatively mellow. There will be a few quips every now and again but nothing to write home about. The Powerpuff Girls however has a plethora of Innuendo. We could start with the fact that Sara Bellum’s address is 69. Maybe the fact that every scene she and The Mayor are together more than likely made little boys pants tighter. We could also you know, cover anything involving the villain Him. However, that’s just too obvious. Plus, I wanted to search for things and personally I feel what I found was funnier.

Here is the first clip:

Here is another good one writhe with innuendo.

Protip: Funniest part is 2:10-2:20:

Next we have Samurai Jack. Really not much I can find on this one it’s really hard. However, to be completely honest I can see why. Samurai Jack is meant to be Genndy’s “serious show.” I can accept this, and I wish I could link up the YouTube Poop version of his encounter with The Scotsman because damn near the whole bridge banter they have is hilarious. I would also post the video where he enters playing his bag pipes and says “By the look on your face I can tell you like the pipes wee laddie” but that’s only really funny if you’ve seen the YouTube Poop version. So instead I chose the video where The Scotsman throws a plethora of insults at Jack.

Here it is:

Now, I actually found a funny unrelated video trying to find a funny interaction between Jack and The Scotsman.

I almost lost my shit with this, so funny:

Finally, we come to the video I Stumbled that started it all. This is a video of Genndy’s new show Symbionic Titan. I used to watch the show a while back but I’d stopped for some reason. This clip in all actuality is quite popular all around the internet right now. There are even some edits and remixes of it. This is an original unedited copy. Even the music was on the show, which is great because the song is absolutely hilarious. You’ll see what I mean. Now after a bit of research I found out that this clip is actually not out of the ordinary for the show. Back when I watched it, the show seemed a tad devoid of this kind of thing, but it would appear that in the increasing years they have gotten a bit more brave with what they do. With shows like Adventure Time and Regular Show taking a large percentage of the hits, it would appear we’ve come full circle. I’m actually a little sad I stopped watching this show.

This is fucking hilarious:

Drezirale


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Tree Anus

Tree Anus (Photo credit: Mark Sadowski)

Yup… Going to hell, not because I stole that, but because I am genuinely a shitty person. I mean I’m not going to push an old woman down stairs that lead into the middle of a busy highway made of exploding turtle sphincters.

What the fuck did I just write?

Who the fuck knows anymore, I don’t. So, I’ve been gone a few days, it happens. All of the other authors of FFI have apparently been abducted because I haven’t heard shit from any of them.

Well, you know what I say… Fuck em.

Either way, this post is dedicated to the authors of FFI. I hope you enjoy. And if this song applies to you, as well, then I hope you take something from it.

As always, we stay around for you guys, we don’t need to the Internet to have narcissism-fueled monologues. On that note, we like to hear from you guys. Make that happen.

Also, I have a new signature, it is shown at the bottom… For reference, here is the old one (which will still be used from time to time).

Also, feel free to click either of the glorious pieces of artwork for a small “surprise” (a feature that will make its way to all authors signatures).

fischfail_sig

fischfail_sig2


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

So this isn’t merely a LuzOb post… but a Luz and Grim post!

also most likely the only text-only Drunk Post… because Mr. Fail is not here…

So yeah…

We like Odin… just sayin’…

Say something deep Grim…………….

Grim here…

May we live our lives forever by the honor and sacrifice of our ancestors, and may the gods always look upon us and smile, for we carry on their names evermore in a world that looks upon our faith with indifference. Praise Tyr for his sacrifice, Praise Thor for protecting Midgard with mighty Mjolnir, and Hail Odin in his infinite wisdom.

Luz back… so there you go… apparently Grim is much more articulate when not exactly sober… also we now have an official toast as well!

Steak when you are hungry
Mead when you are dry
Love when you are lonely
Valhalla when you die!

Honestly I stole that from an old Irish drinkin toast, but fuck ’em…

Grim wants some drinking toast now…

POWDER TOAST MAAAAAAAN!

okay.. focus focus…

uhm…

we’ve also standardized our Futhark Runic system… which i accidentally called “futherk”…. sorry Odin…

aaaaaaaaanyway….  Here’s Grim…

bEER IS gOOD, bEER IS nICE

sHOW ME bEER, i’LL dRINK IT tWICE… OR tHRICE… oR qUADRICE…

iM DRUNK.

An amulet, "silver strongly gilt", r...

An amulet, “silver strongly gilt”, representing the hammer of Thor. Found in 1877 in Skåne, Sweden. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

LuzObUllersson

*soon to be Odinnssonnoonsonsonsonsonons

also we’ll post something more legit soon!


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I fully agree with the ideas listed below. Let’s do this ‘Murica (the rest of the world can join in just substituting where appropriate)!

twinkies500

 

Mr. Inman, if you are seeing this, please realize that I did not in fact steal this. Please don’t assume that I did. In fact, here is another link to your wonderful website: TheOatmeal.

fischfail_sig


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!
Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin (Photo credit: xomiele)

This day is indeed a grand occasion. Today is the day we all discovered or long lost relatives. This is great because well, they are famous. While we are somewhat famous, especially myself, our relatives are wildly known throughout the world.

So lets start off shall we:

First we have Mr. Fail’s long lost son, Jonah Hill. As you can see here, the family resemblance is uncanny. (Click the pictures to inbiggen)

FISCH FUCKING FAIL!

FISCH FUCKING FAIL!

JONAH FUCKING HILL!

JONAH FUCKING HILL!

Fucking crazy right? Here is some more:

Here is LuzOb and his brother separated at birth TheFrogman

LuzOb

LuzOb

TheFrogman

TheFrogman

Speaking of frog men guess what Fisch Fail Frog, we found yo daddy!

F3

F3

Kremit

Kremit

We cannot forget about Eldwardo and his uncle Zorro.

Eldwardo

Eldwardo

Zorro

Zorro

Taught him everything he knows….

Then we have Grimnir…

Grim

Grim

He is related to THOR GOD OF THUNDER!

....and rock and roll...

….and rock and roll…

No.. I lied it’s actually this guy.

Sam Huntington

Sam Huntington

Here is Moonpie and his boy.

MoonPie

MoonPie

Also Moonpie

Also Moonpie

I wonder if Moonpie Sr. is chocolate flavor too…

Here’s a good one of Ech and his lot:

Ech13

Ech13

Ech Clones

Ech Clones

I told him not to take that vacation in Kamino

In any case here is ErinLovesTheWeb and her pops Drew Carey.

Fucking classy

ELTW

Drew Carey

Drew Carey

Incidentally, Drew Carey is actually only his stage name. His real name is DrewCareyLovesTheImprov.

Then finally there is me…

Drezirale still alive!

ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sadly… There are no long lost relatives for… Wait what? I have a sister? Really?

tumblr_ltrauwISa31r5scgro1_500

 

Drezirale


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!
Fisch

Fisch (Photo credit: HamburgerJung) I personally think this should become our new logo.

So, Breeish called it. Almost 2 years ago at this point. She said, and I quote “^ I am surprised Fisch doesn’t have a post about this up.” I will be honest, I never actually took the time to look up what the fuck that meant, until now.

Wow, how the fuck did you know?

I don’t much discuss issues of poo, on this here blog (I leave that reserved for Drezirale who no longer posts because he is a cunt), but when I do, I something…. I don’t even know anymore, I apologize.

And now to explain my absence. I’ve been gone, deal with it, as for the other authors, I cannot say. (Although it, sadly,  may be about time to “trim some fat around here”).

On an important side note, remember that the “I’m Addicted To Your Mom” contest is nearing completion, and we are still accepting entries. Remember, with no entries, we cannot announce a winner.

Fuck it, who likes pictures (not related to the previous shit!)?

Eh, who the fuck am I kidding, you guys love pictures, and below are some random ones in no particular order. Have fun! Obviously, most of the following are not original content, sorry if I “stole” from you.

3cOjmUH

4B33vTF

4raaRZl

Click here, to continue reading !