Posts Tagged ‘Family’

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Wow, what a weird fucking year.

Another year has come and gone, and like every year it is time for us to reflect on the year’s successes and failures, changes, and lessons learned.

Okay, so in reality we have done a post like this in a few years, however we usually all get together and discuss it. This year is a little different.

So, with no real care regarding the order of events here are some of the things that happened this year.

First, lets begin with one of the unofficial anthems of FFI during 2014.



For the first 8 months of 2014 there were two posts. A post regarding the sensational band, Baby Metal. And LuzOb’s annual post dedicated to the ringleader of this nightmare, me. It had been a rough year and summer for us all, and we were still reeling from losses and personal demons. We had all talked, extensively, about bringing “The blog” back, but never actually got around to doing anything about it. And once again, FFI almost went the way of the dinosaurs. And despite, continuously getting new followers, fans, and friends, we just couldn’t come back.

Then starting in August, we started posting some regularity again, even hashing out the plans for an event aptly named the #Tacopocalypse. And while the plan was the have the party (where no one fucking comes) before the end of the year, certain other events have prevented that. Don’t worry, we are still planning on having a taco destruction party. Look for it in Q1 (that’s right, some fucking business terms there… Because that’s we are, a business. Or something).

And now onto news that isn’t the same as always (i.e. we have this thing we are going to do… Look, we didn’t do it! Like always.)

Former author Drezirale, who said his goodbyes with us last year (Well, it was a hell of a ride), not only married this year, but also announced they are having a baby. Who would’ve thought?

After a few years of spinning poi, I finally decided to light a pair ablaze and hurl them around my body is a rhythmic pattern. Somewhere a few of the FFI “authors” (yeah, I’m calling you out, ErinLovesTheWeb(who is technically an editor) and Grimnir) have video of this event. Maybe one day they will appear here. Since then, there have been many other such sessions.

Next! Over the years, there have been many authors and contributors who have lived at The house that Fisch Fail, INC. built, and over time many of left the nest (so to speak). And now, the original member, the O.G. if you will has also decided to depart the homestead. Recently LuzOb announced he would be leaving his childhood home, in search of a new life, and while we remain in contact with him, our thoughts are with him. And in case you missed it, here is the list of authors who at one time or another have lived with LuzOb…


In other news, one day I will learn how to use the tools presented here and quit forgetting to do stupid shit (like title the fucking post…).

ErinLovesTheWeb and I moved into a place of our own, finally. It is a crappy little one-bedroom apartment, that works well for us.

One day, I was driving home after a complete shit week, just fucking awful. And LuzOb called me and heard my having an angry explosion. Just flipping out, probably to a dangerous level. A little while he sent me the following message:

“Well our friendship is old enough to drink and I did that whole “learn to help” nonsense as a major. Lemme know what I can do. You’ve been helping me with a lot of nonsense lately too. Throughout my life I’ve had many friends, two actual brothers, and a handful of brothers and sisters through the Theod. There had always been one person whom I’ve called my Brother despite blood relation and even before a spiritual connection. We’ve gone through a lot there 22 years or so, and I want to let you know that you really mean a lot to me. I know things have been a little tricky and rough these past few years but you’ve changed so much for the better. You know those outbursts you had this evening? Those were the norm in the past for you, yet are a rarity now. Look forward, my Brother, for there are great things in store for someone as wonderful as you. Thank you for letting me know there still are those who are strong in body, mind, and heart in this world. Goodnight.”

My drunken mind, began crying. Thank you, Luz. Thank you.

In final news, for this post, and probably the year. After nearly five-years of dating, I finally got the courage to ask ErinLovesTheWeb for her hand in marriage. And as of Christmas Eve, her ring finger is shinier. It is pretty sweet. LuzOb knew about the proposal beforehand (kind of), and he demanded to know the details as they happened. So, when I sent him a picture of ErinLovesTheWeb holding up her hand and glowing / smiling like a fucking lunatic (unfortunately, I am at work and can’t really upload photos, but maybe I will upload it a little later), his reply was:

“I teared up. No lie.”

I love that guy, take that as you will.

For now, friends. I hope your year was good for growth, experience, and life. And if it was not, I am sorry. But, let’s try and make 2015 a good time for us all. Until next year, stay both safe and drunk. Especially stay safe if you are planning on being drunk.


Fade with the Morning Light

Posted: November 3, 2014 by luzob in Random
Tags: , , , ,

Good evening, or good morning, our sweet, wonderful Readers.

Since I’ve been laid off from work for roughly a month and a half I have been somewhat blessed with a wealth of time for myself and my pursuits. As of late I had found myself sinking softly into a pit of less-than-quiet desperation. Tonight I spent a decent amount of time just thinking. What abouts, you most likely aren’t asking? I’ll tell you anyway, my lucky Readers.

Life has been changing somewhat dramatically for me this year and some, with both tragedy and fortune. For the intents and purposes of this point I shall keep it light and positive.

I am in a new relationship, and have been much MUCH happier with not only my romantic life but with myself. While my significant other would most likely say otherwise, I believe that most of my positive change can be attributed to her. A clarity that was fleeting and uncommon in the past has now become something I can feel with each wondrous day. While life is not rainbows and butterflies, I feel like I am less haunted by my own melancholy feelings.

I’ve graduated from college with my Bachelors in Social Work, and despite the lack of utilization of said degree so far I have done something that no other in my family has at this point.

I’ve decided to take a more laid-back approach to my life as of late. With little to really keep my mind busy, stagnation was slowly creeping into my being. As stated above, things weren’t easier for the time being. Luckily with a strong support group of wonderful friends I stay stronger than I ever could alone. Everything I’ve said is kind of a big thing to say, considering that I am usually just a sad raincloud, haha!

You may have heard this before – from different sources and advertisements and other nonsense – but I can say in absolute confidence that things do get better in time. It seems insurmountable, everything from the everyday disappointments and hopefully rare tragedies, but the human mind is a profoundly strong and resilient entity. You don’t have to listen to me, my dear Readers, but if you’ve gotten this far I would say with a little optimism that hopefully something will stick with you. Thanks for coming by and taking time to read this.

(edited 11/3/2014 by LuzOb)

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Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin (Photo credit: xomiele)

This day is indeed a grand occasion. Today is the day we all discovered or long lost relatives. This is great because well, they are famous. While we are somewhat famous, especially myself, our relatives are wildly known throughout the world.

So lets start off shall we:

First we have Mr. Fail’s long lost son, Jonah Hill. As you can see here, the family resemblance is uncanny. (Click the pictures to inbiggen)





Fucking crazy right? Here is some more:

Here is LuzOb and his brother separated at birth TheFrogman





Speaking of frog men guess what Fisch Fail Frog, we found yo daddy!





We cannot forget about Eldwardo and his uncle Zorro.





Taught him everything he knows….

Then we have Grimnir…



He is related to THOR GOD OF THUNDER!

....and rock and roll...

….and rock and roll…

No.. I lied it’s actually this guy.

Sam Huntington

Sam Huntington

Here is Moonpie and his boy.



Also Moonpie

Also Moonpie

I wonder if Moonpie Sr. is chocolate flavor too…

Here’s a good one of Ech and his lot:



Ech Clones

Ech Clones

I told him not to take that vacation in Kamino

In any case here is ErinLovesTheWeb and her pops Drew Carey.

Fucking classy


Drew Carey

Drew Carey

Incidentally, Drew Carey is actually only his stage name. His real name is DrewCareyLovesTheImprov.

Then finally there is me…

Drezirale still alive!


Sadly… There are no long lost relatives for… Wait what? I have a sister? Really?




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That is what I have been lately, So sorry fans

A lot has gone down lately in life.

Sorry to Fisch Fail INC for being gone so long, who knows when I will be back again.

Debating on going back to school….. I think I need to but I don’t want to… still deciding.

Also dealing with issues inside my head I guess it’s what we call stress, and there is a lot of it in there!

Been spending a lot of time with a special friend who has been through so much in the last few months and she is

a very sweet girl, confused but sweet nonetheless. My heart has grown big for her but I have no place in hers.

Rather friendship then nothing at all I guess but how long can I torture myself. I love her family, she even got me going

going back to church and I love it. I try to separate myself from her sometimes but then I feel like I am abandoning her

and that is not what she needs now. She needs me and her family and her church family. We are good to her.

On another note, my mom is getting older and I grow worrisome of her health sometimes, it’s just another added stress.

Five years ago I seen myself in a different place then I am in now, I want to know what happened? Did I fall off? Did

I give up? I am still here though even though times are hard and I’ve been told its gets harder before it gets any


I guess that’s just life! Thanks for listening fans I will try to visit more often with more uplifting stories!!! tata!!

There’s a man…


A souvenir Indonesian parang.

a goddamn weapon!


Wait wait wait… didn’t we do this shit, like… a year ago?


Oh wait we fucking did


Well I fucking did…






thank him…












there is a man…







It became pregnant…

and gave birth to TERRY CREWS!

His left foot is an opalescent shotgun the can fire flaming Hostess Snowballs…

if he wants it to…

His right foot is…


and when he skips down the road he creates



After many months I was able to contact the King of England



So who is he?

Who is this Poseidon of Earth?

…this Gaia of the seas?

well hell, I dunno… the end.





That’s right…

and once again it’s his goddamn day of fucking birth!

So if you know what’s good for you…

Send him some money

Send him some booze

Send him a bunny



I said it last year, and I’ll quote it right now:

“This man is the friend I’ve always wanted and the brother I’ve always needed.

Just know you’re (STILL) appreciated, Mr. Fail.”

…and the best part? Unlike last year I can literally punch him in the dick because he is within the same walls as me.

Thank you Mr. Fail for everything, and have a happy fucking birthday.

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Have you ever wondered if you scare people unintentionally? Would it be because of the way you look such as a Big Chest, wide pose, and a grim look on your face like the Undertaker? Where people around you feel safe because you look scary, or would it be that you are kind of diggin someone special and have got too clingy. Like whipping out your junk and swinging it around in front of people. Oh never mind that last comment! That would definitely scare people away! Lol!

Where is that line drawn between scaring someone and trying to get closer? It seems lately that the people in your life who you think are close are moving farther away. Are people really that scared? Deep down I know I am but fight to stay close to those I care for.

Now I don’t think I am scaring people away from me but scaring myself away from people. WTF am I afraid of?

Sometimes I just want  left alone and not bothered by anyone or thing. Yet, when the tables are turned there is no one there for me to talk to. Maybe I set myself up for failure without realizing it?

Who knows! Maybe I need a Zanax!

Guess I will just take it day by day like I have been.

Later dudes!


It’s been a good run so far with FFI, and although we have a few slow-downs recently, we’re still growing every day.

Rainy Lake - August 2011-13

Rainy Lake - August 2011-13 (Photo credit: fabfotophotography)

If you are a reader of one little blog, casual or otherwise, you most likely won’t understand the title of this entry, and that’s a-ok. If you’re an author, most likely you won’t either, but you should and shame on you.

This date, August 13 2011, was when over one-thousand collective brains got to see the beauty that is Fisch Fail Inc. It was also the day that I noticed our blog was becoming something of a big deal. Honestly until that point I mostly blogged for no one, except for maybe myself and Mr. Fail, but afterward I began doing it for a lil ones… I mean the readers.

Seriously though; you guys have gotten us to new heights, and for that I am thankful.

A lot of crap has gone down recently (more on that later) so the blog has gotten somewhat neglected as of late, but hopefully that will change and more posts will be on their way.

Here’s to getting 1000000 views before the end of the year!

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Fisch Fail, INC, is still a baby, still growing, still something…infant

If we were a human baby, we would be learning to speak, and maybe eat something that didn’t have the consistency of baby food. But fuck, we’ve already moved on to tacos and alcohol… Says something about us!

Anyway, yesterday we hit a random milestone… 20,000 views (and damnit, I was going to make sure I got to make this announcement!).

So, it took us nearly a year and a half to get our first 10,000… It took us 6 months, to get our second.

Lets try and beat that record (for us) even quicker.

Tell everyone about FFI, let’s do it!




fishing rods
Image by jamestee via Flickr

Diving Into Fantasy


I want to feel the saline breeze from a seaside shore…

To wake up every day…

…in a manor, in a shack… it doesn’t matter…

…to the sound of waves kissing the eroding stone.

I want to get out of bed and embrace the ocean.

A sip of fresh tea to heighten my senses.


To pick up a simple fishing pole…

…and waste a handful of hours.

Breakfast is shared with a view…

…that most will see on postcards and inspirational calendars.

I wish to start every day this way.

Away from houses overcrowded with the mundane gasps of humanity solidified in desperation.

Away from those with everything… but have hate in their hearts… because their neighbor has so much more.

Maybe I want a wooden vessel that would allow me to be completely enmeshed with the sea, would you hate me such fancy?

You would love or hate me for eternity…

…if you only knew…

…how much I want this…


Image via Wikipedia

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Hello to all the FischFail readers out there!

It seems somewhat lonely these days here at the blog.

Everyone’s either been sick or having brain farts.

Or maybe life’s stressing the hell out of most of us.

Specifically talking about me, Stresses is not exactly the word I am looking for but will do.

These Classes I am taking are somewhat demanding and has taken a serious toll on my social life.

I guess it all work and no play make me a dull boy.

Hell I haven’t wrote a blog in forever… I have all the author’s breathing down my neck.

I would like to apologize for my absence and I will try my best to keep up.

Now on the other hand I have been reading a lot about Astronomy, it is an amazing subject.

Firewalls and VPN’s mmmm kind of boring since the teacher sucks at it and struggles to find things to keep us busy in class.

Internet web application hacking is a fun class in my book, since Mr. Fail and I both have the same teacher and we both agree he is an awesome teacher.  One of the best I have had in a very long time.

All these classes are seriously kicking my ass guys, I work full time and have computers still waiting to be repaired, and these customers keep calling me like phuckin bill collectors for Christ sake.  All I know is bitches betta have my money.

On a side note, I would like to thank Luzob, one or our prestige authors here at FischFailInc for keeping the blog alive in eve of our absences. Thanks bro!


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The opening title card for Futurama

Image via Wikipedia

First off I wanted to have the title say “The house that Fisch Fail, Inc. built” but none of us have any architectural skills to my knowledge. So the title will have to do until we build a house. It’s gonna happen mother fuckers, just you wait. It’s going to be equipped with mind reading table top gaming stations, a computer that posts our thoughts automatically to Fisch Fail, Inc., and we each get our own personal toilet that will be self repairing and retrieve our dropped items for us already in pristine condition. Not only that but it will zap out poops as soon as they go in the bowl. You know what? Fuck that, it will zap our poops directly out of our anuses no matter where we are. So we don’t even have to go into any bathrooms at all. You’re welcome Fisch…

Oh and there will be weapon rooms with all the weapons ever made ever in the whole world. Also, comics, lots of comics, and video games… There will also be an anti chewy bitems shield around the house… that’s like five miles long.

But for now, I am simply stuck talking of the current less awesome but still awesome in it’s own way regular house in which we reside. I think it was one of the first times we had all been together in the same room having fun since the big move in. Either there was cleaning and unpacking to be done, schooling, or I would just disappear for a month and a half. However, we finally had a “game night” of sorts. First we all sat down and watched a popular animated show about a man who was frozen for 1000 years and now lives in the future doing intergalactic deliveries for his great (times whatever) nephew. After that we all ate vanilla wafers and graham crackers with frosting… from a bag… (awesome). To which we procedeed with the gaming, a combination of games, some liked more than others. I particularly did not like being rushed to describe a word and I’m sure Luz would agree. All and all we had fun, and learned some peculiar things about one another. Like some people, who will remain unnamed like to put chocolate in a certain hole. I’ll leave the imagination parts to you, but I’ll give you a hint. It’s not the mouth.

A male Bulldog puppy.

Image via Wikipedia

Dear Mom and Dad,

I died today. You got tired of me and took me to the shelter. The shelter was overcrowded and I drew an unlucky number. I am in a black plastic bag in a landfill now. Some other puppy will get the barely used leash you left. My collar was dirty and too small, but the woman took it off before she sent me to the Rainbow Bridge .

Would I still be at home if I hadn’t chewed your shoe? I didn’t know what it was, but it was leather, and it was on the floor. I was just playing. You forgot to get puppy toys.

Would I still be at home if I had been housebroken? Rubbing my nose in what I did only made me ashamed that I had to go at all. There are books and obedience teachers that would have taught you how to teach me to go to the door.

Would I still be at home if I hadn’t brought fleas into the house? Without anti-flea medicine, I couldn’t get them off of me after you left me in the yard for days.

Would I still be at home if I hadn’t barked? I was only saying, “I’m scared, I’m lonely, I’m here, I’m here! I want to be your best friend.”

Would I still be at home if I had made you happy? Hitting me didn’t make me learn how.

Would I still be at home if you had taken the time to care for me and to teach manners to me? You didn’t pay attention to me after the first week or so, but I spent all my time waiting for you to love me.

I died today.
Love, Your Puppy

Found this from Face book here is the link

It’s so sad and has meaning…. Please remember this next time your dog upsets you….

Don’t forget to thumbs up this post if you’re a stumbler or just share it with anyone please!! And thank you


Posted: August 19, 2011 by luzob in Random
Tags: , ,

Fred Ott's Sneeze (film by William K.L. Dickson)

Image via Wikipedia

Just a small post before work…

I CANNOT stop sneezing… and it’s driving me insane!

Seriously… it won’t stop…

Every ellipse… is a… sneeze.


Okay, better.

So big… changes are happening around FischFail, so keep… (motherfucker!) a look out for some big news ;).



Old Man Happy

Image via Wikipedia

Or maybe that is just while I was away… Either way, I would like to thank everyone for the birthday wishes, especially for those people I haven’t heard from or see in years. Here are a few of the messages I received…

LuzOb (text message):  “Happy birthday faggot, get drunk.” Nice sentiments, but I was actually sleeping when I received that, and if I were getting drunk then, I would say I have quite the problem.

Amanda (phone): “Happy birthday, old fart, now you’re old!” Oh, fuck off you “youngin’”

My sister (text message): “Happy official 24th birthday!” Thanks, brat.

Scotty (phone): “Haaaaapppppyyyyy birfdae, big guy!” Maybe Scotty should lay off the drinking on my birthday?

Friend 1 (facebook): “Happy birthday”

Friend 2 (facebook): “Happy Birthday (name)! I hope you have a wonderful day!”

Friend 3 (facebook): “Happy birthday (name)!”

Friend 4 (facebook): “Happy birthday”

Friend 5 (facebook): “Happy Birthday Fish!”

My dad (text message): “HAPPY BIRTHDAY. PUNK. LOVE YOU” Thanks dad, I love you too.

Friend 6 (facebook): “You feel old?” Eh, not particularly…

My mom (text message): “Happy Birthday.”

LuzOb 2 (facebook): “Every time our birthdays pass one after another I remember how long we’ve been friends. Here’s to a few more dozen years as brothers. Happy Birthday man.”

Bexhet: “Hippy burpderp Grandma” Ummmm, wat!?

Jeremy: “Happy birthday bro! Long time no speak; hit me up on Facebook or with a text sometime!” Well, that’s what happens when a person moves away and they somehow lost your number…. Sorry.

JessiesaurusRex: “Happy birthday sweetie!”

Friend 7 (facebook): “Happy Birthday”

Friend 9 (facebook): “Happt birday!” Happy bird-day to you well good, sir!

Sweaty (facebook): “Happy birthday Fischy!”

Friend 10 (facebook): “Happy b-day buddy!” I’m not your buddy friend!

Friend 11 (facebook): “Happy birthday (name)”

Friend 12 (facebook): “happy birthday”

Friend 13 (facebook): “Happy birthday (name). Party like a rockstar” Yeah, work was sweet!

Amanda (facebook): “Happy birthday buddy, be careful, don’t hurt your wrist year lol… Take care bud!” Yeah, there was so much alcohol involved, I chased a black guy into the middle of the road and almost got hit by a car. Thanks!

Friend 14 (facebook): “Happy Birthday (name)!”

Friend 15 (facebook): “Happy Birthday!”

Friend 16 (ErinLovesTheWeb’s mom! From facebook): “Enjoy your birthday!!!!! Maybe Erin could bake you some delicious cupcakes?! Enjoy your day!!!!” Hell yeah, cupcakes would be awesome!

Friend 17 (ErinLovesTheWeb’s aunt! From facebook): “Happy Birthday (name)!”

Eldwardo (facebook): “Happy Birthday Fisch!”

Friend 18 (ErinLovesTheWeb’s sister #2! from facebook): “HAPPY BIRTHDAY SENIOR ALTO!!!! 🙂 Hope its lots of fun!!!!”

Breeish (facebook): “HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY GOD DAMMIT!” Breeish just might be the love of my life….

ErinLovesTheWeb’s Sister #2! (text): “Happy birthday Senior Alto!!! Have a big fun day!!!” It is always big fun with me!

Mama and Papa Bear: “Happy birthday, (name)!”

ErinLovesTheWeb’s Dad (text): “Happy birthday (name)! You are the recipient of the first text I’ve ever sent. Hope you have a great day!” You guys really have no idea how monumental this is.

LuzOb (text): “Happy citruiea again motherbrother” Uhhhh, wat!?

LuzOB (text): “Have a herrine auguiea!” Crack?

Rod (text): “Happy birthday big pimpin’, enjoy your day!” Yeah, little short of the money, I’ve got to get these hoes actin’ right!

I also woke up to find that ErinLovesTheWeb had made a post to the blog, created her bio, and made her “Fischisms” section of the blog go live. And ErinLovesTheWeb started working on a special video that only the members of Fisch Fail, INC know about (for now)! And LuzOb may have made the most amazing tribute post ever.

My birthday was definitely an interesting one. I had to wake up super early so that I could made it the Secretary of State to renew my license (or else no more work for me!), then I had to go immediately to work, after which I made my way to school. So great way to spend my birthday, I know…

I would also like to say that I might have the greatest family / friend base in the world. I can literally put it no other way, you guys rock. Thank you for making another, possibly shitty birthday rather good. Thank you.

I apologize for the shittiness of my hand handwriting. I actually though about making this entire post in a very similar format. So instead of typing it all out, make it a gif or me holding signs. I think that might have been fun, but I lost the motivation…

P.S. if for some reason the picture directly above isn’t being animated, click it. There is more to the message than “Thank You”