Posts Tagged ‘Fisch Fail INC.’


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Wow, what a weird fucking year.

Another year has come and gone, and like every year it is time for us to reflect on the year’s successes and failures, changes, and lessons learned.

Okay, so in reality we have done a post like this in a few years, however we usually all get together and discuss it. This year is a little different.

So, with no real care regarding the order of events here are some of the things that happened this year.

First, lets begin with one of the unofficial anthems of FFI during 2014.

 

 

For the first 8 months of 2014 there were two posts. A post regarding the sensational band, Baby Metal. And LuzOb’s annual post dedicated to the ringleader of this nightmare, me. It had been a rough year and summer for us all, and we were still reeling from losses and personal demons. We had all talked, extensively, about bringing “The blog” back, but never actually got around to doing anything about it. And once again, FFI almost went the way of the dinosaurs. And despite, continuously getting new followers, fans, and friends, we just couldn’t come back.

Then starting in August, we started posting some regularity again, even hashing out the plans for an event aptly named the #Tacopocalypse. And while the plan was the have the party (where no one fucking comes) before the end of the year, certain other events have prevented that. Don’t worry, we are still planning on having a taco destruction party. Look for it in Q1 (that’s right, some fucking business terms there… Because that’s we are, a business. Or something).

And now onto news that isn’t the same as always (i.e. we have this thing we are going to do… Look, we didn’t do it! Like always.)

Former author Drezirale, who said his goodbyes with us last year (Well, it was a hell of a ride), not only married this year, but also announced they are having a baby. Who would’ve thought?

After a few years of spinning poi, I finally decided to light a pair ablaze and hurl them around my body is a rhythmic pattern. Somewhere a few of the FFI “authors” (yeah, I’m calling you out, ErinLovesTheWeb(who is technically an editor) and Grimnir) have video of this event. Maybe one day they will appear here. Since then, there have been many other such sessions.

Next! Over the years, there have been many authors and contributors who have lived at The house that Fisch Fail, INC. built, and over time many of left the nest (so to speak). And now, the original member, the O.G. if you will has also decided to depart the homestead. Recently LuzOb announced he would be leaving his childhood home, in search of a new life, and while we remain in contact with him, our thoughts are with him. And in case you missed it, here is the list of authors who at one time or another have lived with LuzOb…

Eldwardo
Drezirale
ErinLovesTheWeb
FischFailFrog
Grimnir

In other news, one day I will learn how to use the tools presented here and quit forgetting to do stupid shit (like title the fucking post…).

ErinLovesTheWeb and I moved into a place of our own, finally. It is a crappy little one-bedroom apartment, that works well for us.

One day, I was driving home after a complete shit week, just fucking awful. And LuzOb called me and heard my having an angry explosion. Just flipping out, probably to a dangerous level. A little while he sent me the following message:

“Well our friendship is old enough to drink and I did that whole “learn to help” nonsense as a major. Lemme know what I can do. You’ve been helping me with a lot of nonsense lately too. Throughout my life I’ve had many friends, two actual brothers, and a handful of brothers and sisters through the Theod. There had always been one person whom I’ve called my Brother despite blood relation and even before a spiritual connection. We’ve gone through a lot there 22 years or so, and I want to let you know that you really mean a lot to me. I know things have been a little tricky and rough these past few years but you’ve changed so much for the better. You know those outbursts you had this evening? Those were the norm in the past for you, yet are a rarity now. Look forward, my Brother, for there are great things in store for someone as wonderful as you. Thank you for letting me know there still are those who are strong in body, mind, and heart in this world. Goodnight.”

My drunken mind, began crying. Thank you, Luz. Thank you.

In final news, for this post, and probably the year. After nearly five-years of dating, I finally got the courage to ask ErinLovesTheWeb for her hand in marriage. And as of Christmas Eve, her ring finger is shinier. It is pretty sweet. LuzOb knew about the proposal beforehand (kind of), and he demanded to know the details as they happened. So, when I sent him a picture of ErinLovesTheWeb holding up her hand and glowing / smiling like a fucking lunatic (unfortunately, I am at work and can’t really upload photos, but maybe I will upload it a little later), his reply was:

“I teared up. No lie.”

I love that guy, take that as you will.

For now, friends. I hope your year was good for growth, experience, and life. And if it was not, I am sorry. But, let’s try and make 2015 a good time for us all. Until next year, stay both safe and drunk. Especially stay safe if you are planning on being drunk.

fischfail_sig2


A quote from our main author and contributor from two years (and one day) prior:

“I find it interesting though, that normally, this time of year brings about a large amount of depression and anxiety, and this year was no different. I really have no reason to hate my birthday, or anything like that. This time of year just brings me into a depressive funk that I have never been able to explain.”

Remind me to quote things properly… eventually…

Ever since Mr. Fail posted this I have taken it upon myself to inform the world of his badassery upon the highest rooftop of our blog. I thought about speaking upon the lofty achievements of his life, and referencing the posts past with witty humor and banter that only my sleep-deprived mine could think of.

This time I want something different…

This year it is your collective turns…

I will be collecting bits and quotes of people that happen to personally know Mr. Fail and throwing them into something… I dunno what though… and making that motherfucker count.

So replyreplyreplyreplyreply! and comment on this post things that you want to say about our glorious lead author. I have a gift proper in the works but it’ll have to wait for a couple paydays (and not the candybars, Mr. Fail cannot eat them, dumbasses).

Be it heartfelt, troll-ish or downright disturbing I want to hear from everyone! That means you too lazy other authors…

and that’s really it! fucken easy, right? then DO it! and I will do it first…LuzOb


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Thanks!

Doctor Who! I said the words which means I must be apart of the fandom because that is the only way you can see it, right? Anyway, just a short post for right now, but here is the “Doctor Who” fandom, and thus every argument regarding “The Doctor,” in a nutshell…

dwa

 

Also, expect some “real” content from me shortly. Until then, have fun. And feel free to discuss some shit with us.

 

fischfail_sig2

Great Scott!

Posted: January 24, 2013 by fischfail in Anger, Death, Drugs, Family, Life, Personal, Updates, WTF
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!
Survival Sickness

Survival Sickness (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So, I finally have it, the proof that I am in fact dying.

Now, we all now this is 100% accurate, since it is from the Internet. You can send you wishes and funeral donations to any of the places listed on my bio page.

Although, in case you are so stricken with grief regarding my imminent demise, I’ve taken a moment from my rapidly shortening life span to post them for you once again. I am such a nice guy.

Paypal (preferred method, help out my friends and family pay for my dead ass)

And maybe you can figure out all the following on your own, good luck. It has been fun.

AIM — fischfail

Yahoo — fischfail

Hotmail / MSN — fischfail@hotmail.com

Facebook — http://www.facebook.com/fisch.failinc

Phone (text or call) — 734-252-6387

Twitter — fischfail

StumbleUpon — fisch-fail

Skype — fischfail

Thank you.

proof of death


There’s a man…

 

A souvenir Indonesian parang.

a goddamn weapon!

 

Wait wait wait… didn’t we do this shit, like… a year ago?

 

Oh wait we fucking did

 

Well I fucking did…

 

WELL THERE STILL IS A MAN!

 

THE WOMEN HE TOUCHES…

 

thank him…

 

FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF HIS…

 

GILDED.

 

PENIS.

 

OOOOFFF WIIIIISSSDOM!

 

 

 

there is a man…

 

that…

 

FOUND HIS ORBITAL BURRITO!

 

MADE THE SWEETEST LOVE TO IT!

It became pregnant…

and gave birth to TERRY CREWS!

His left foot is an opalescent shotgun the can fire flaming Hostess Snowballs…

if he wants it to…

His right foot is…

Mjölnir!

and when he skips down the road he creates

ORGIES AND RAGNAROK AT THE SAME TIME!

WITH ZOMBIES!

After many months I was able to contact the King of England

WHY?!

BECAUSE IT’S HIS SHIT!

So who is he?

Who is this Poseidon of Earth?

…this Gaia of the seas?

well hell, I dunno… the end.

NO!

WE ALLLLLL KNOW WHO THIS MAN IS!

HE IS…

FISCH FUCKING FAIL!

That’s right…

and once again it’s his goddamn day of fucking birth!

So if you know what’s good for you…

Send him some money

Send him some booze

Send him a bunny

GIVE HIM SOME VIEWS!

 

I said it last year, and I’ll quote it right now:

“This man is the friend I’ve always wanted and the brother I’ve always needed.

Just know you’re (STILL) appreciated, Mr. Fail.”

…and the best part? Unlike last year I can literally punch him in the dick because he is within the same walls as me.

Thank you Mr. Fail for everything, and have a happy fucking birthday.


Hey! Cheer up it ain’t that bad is what everyone says, PFFT! Whatever! I can’t rant about this is all day if I want don’t make me LOL!

Just kidding!

I thought I would share this picture I stumble across a about a week ago and it seems like it make me feel a bit better… Nothing wrong with that right! Inspiration is good, am I wrong?

SO Anyway, This is what I was referring to earlier that I stumbled upon a week ago. I felt the words as I read then, they  are powerful and it just gets to me sometimes because of the way I act occasionally. You all know you can not say you don’t feel the same way too sometimes, or occasionally. All it ever seems to me is that we get sad or upset because of the things we do not have instead of opening your eyes and looking at what you have right in front of you!

Nonetheless enjoy!

Uplifting I think

I borrowed this picture from a website, here is the link to it http://sp1.fotolog.com/photo/17/26/125/takalook/13406157136474_f.jpgmoonpie


So it’s been almost two entire weeks since a post from anybody here, so you’re most likely wondering if we’re dead…

Don’t adjust your sets, because we’ve already been dead for years.

Even before it’s conception nearly two years ago, we were a blog murdered by the conventions of what a “real” blog should look like, be about, and contain within.

I, LuzObscuridad, will officially tell all of our faithful (yet dwindling) readers that we are not only dead, but UNdead…

That’s right kiddies, we’re a Zomblog…

What the fuck if a Zomblog, you ask? Well shut the hell up and I’ll tell you!

A Zomblog is less of a format and more of a concept; it’s what we’ve always known FFI to be, but never had a name for it.

Just like dead people, there is absolutely no expectations for our blog. Yet just like a zombie outbreak, we will continue to spread and grow in numbers, without heed toward tends, niches, or popularity. If you read our blog, you’ve already been infected – bitten in the carotid and now able to infect others. If you even offhandedly mention our little blog to a friend, family member, or (Gods forbid) member of the clergy, etc., you will get your first taste of human flesh, and spread our contagion through the masses! We’re a blog, a plague, an epidemic!

…and the most beautiful part? It’s all your fault…

There is no cure…

There is no preemptive vaccine…

You’re already dead…

Just like us at Fisch Fail, Inc.

Lastly, you also get a random-ass pic for all your disgustingly cannibalistic work…