Posts Tagged ‘Fisch Fail’


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

So I had a terribly evil and horrible idea a while ago while looking back at one of my favorite nerdy news blogs, Topless Robot. A former writer of said blog named Rob Bricken had a weekly post called Fanfiction Friday that I found to be disturbing, disgusting and so god damn funny it hurt. Unfortunately like all the good things in my life it ended when he moved on to (what I hope are) bigger and better things writing for i09. He did continue to do FFF on io9 for a while it was shut down after it was decided that being on the much lager site FFF looked like the big bad guy picking on the small, defenseless writers. This makes me a sad panda. SO after having to much to drink and reading some of my favorite FFF posts I decided to try my hand at this bit of satire.

So now that where this idea came from is out of the way I should probably explain what the unholy hell this is about. Basically I will be presenting a piece of fanfiction with my reactions as I read through it. Think of it like Mystery Science Theater 3k but with graphically disturbing fanfiction instead of terrible films.  Hopefully in my drunken state I can at least bring a bit of a chuckle out of any poor souls who happen upon this post and are unfortunate enough to read what I have. My other goal is to cause any of the writers of Fisch Fail to start vomiting uncontrollably, but that’s only because I love them so much.

In any case I should probably get this started.

Today’s story is called “WHAT’S 25 FEET TALL AND COMES IN PINTS?”.

Yep a Jurassic Park fanfiction by Michael Collins (I hope the writer didn’t use his real name). May god have mercy on my soul.

Warning, beyond this point is very NSFW !

Advertisements

Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

So as I sit here with my fellow authors, Luzob and Mr.Fail, I truly feel a wave of shame wash over me. I’ve complained a lot lately about feeling stagnant, stuck in a state of limbo as i am between jobs and semesters of school, and yet for some reason I have been absent from our humble little blog. I plan to change that.

Every Friday will be Firearm Friday, where i will either post a video of myself testing a boomstick or write a post about a certain weapon that I would love to add to my collection.

Every Monday will be about something that happened at school, because as all you current and former students know, some seriously messed up shit can happen on a “normal” Monday.

Every Wednesday will be Odin’s day. I’ll be posting wisdom in one form or another that I hope will enrich your lives as much as it does mine.

Every Thursday will be Thor’s day. This will be a post about armed combat, sometimes including a video of said combat taking place right here at Fisch Fail Inc.

Our prior absence will now be followed by posts the likes of which NONE of us have ever seen.

May the gods watch over you

Måtte Æser ser deg

Grim

Grimnir


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

Hello, once more, old friends… Sorry about the extended absence of so many of us, however, with this many of us living under one roof (or still

English: Flag of the National League of Famili...

English: Flag of the National League of Families of American Prisoners and Missing in Southeast Asia – an American non-profit organization that is concerned with the Vietnam War POW/MIA issue. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

being close enough to count), when sorrow and loss strikes at one of us, it strikes at all of us. At least that is the reasoning behind LuzOb’s, Drezirale’s, Grimnir’s, ErinLovesTheWeb’s (which lets face it, she is not an author, she is an editor), and mine “missing in action” statuses as of late.

So, on that note, I would like to say how truly sorry I am for LuzOb’s (and in many ways, my own) loss. There are truly no words, and I will leave it at that.

On a less sadness-inspired note, I was once again joined the blue-collar work force (which means, I once again go back to having money, but at the slow loss of my soul and sanity). And let’s count some of the other changes that have occurred for me this year…

In January, I officially gave up smoking after 16 years. And ErinLovesTheWeb and I celebrated our third anniversary.

In February, I severely reduced my alcohol and soda consumption. Sure, I still have some from time to time, but it not an everyday thing.

In March, I stopped eating meat. Not for ethical or religious reasons, purely for health (more on that later, if you all care).

In April, we all felt a great loss. I reconvened with several old friends that I haven’t seen in years, and made many new ones, as well. And apparently, Grimnir and I decided to possibly start making sweet, sweet music together. And, we had super “hippy-fest,’ wherein, Grimnir played guitar, I spun poi, and then we all got down on some hackey-sack.

And, not much of May has occurred yet, but this month I will be receiving now poi equipment (prepping for some Summer fire play!) and I will be getting an old bass back into my possession!

At some time during this year, Drezirale departed from the house of Fisch Fail, INC, and was replaced with Grimnir; ErinLovesTheWeb pseudo-moved away; Moon-Pie began dealing with several personal demons; Eldwardo drank and had a seriously downer article regarding his past; and Ech13 vanished from Earth (once again).

And, I think that is about it in terms of updates regarding the members of Fisch Fail, INC. Or at least that is all the news that I am aware of.

In other topics, the “Perk Dermp” and “Don’t Watch This’ series’ should continue very, very soon. And for those of you who still care the “Something bad has Happened…” series is being worked on, once again, and will hopefully be worth the wait.

I think that is going to be it for this one, keep an eye out for near-suture updates. Thank you for sticking with us.

fischfail_sig2


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!
Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin (Photo credit: xomiele)

This day is indeed a grand occasion. Today is the day we all discovered or long lost relatives. This is great because well, they are famous. While we are somewhat famous, especially myself, our relatives are wildly known throughout the world.

So lets start off shall we:

First we have Mr. Fail’s long lost son, Jonah Hill. As you can see here, the family resemblance is uncanny. (Click the pictures to inbiggen)

FISCH FUCKING FAIL!

FISCH FUCKING FAIL!

JONAH FUCKING HILL!

JONAH FUCKING HILL!

Fucking crazy right? Here is some more:

Here is LuzOb and his brother separated at birth TheFrogman

LuzOb

LuzOb

TheFrogman

TheFrogman

Speaking of frog men guess what Fisch Fail Frog, we found yo daddy!

F3

F3

Kremit

Kremit

We cannot forget about Eldwardo and his uncle Zorro.

Eldwardo

Eldwardo

Zorro

Zorro

Taught him everything he knows….

Then we have Grimnir…

Grim

Grim

He is related to THOR GOD OF THUNDER!

....and rock and roll...

….and rock and roll…

No.. I lied it’s actually this guy.

Sam Huntington

Sam Huntington

Here is Moonpie and his boy.

MoonPie

MoonPie

Also Moonpie

Also Moonpie

I wonder if Moonpie Sr. is chocolate flavor too…

Here’s a good one of Ech and his lot:

Ech13

Ech13

Ech Clones

Ech Clones

I told him not to take that vacation in Kamino

In any case here is ErinLovesTheWeb and her pops Drew Carey.

Fucking classy

ELTW

Drew Carey

Drew Carey

Incidentally, Drew Carey is actually only his stage name. His real name is DrewCareyLovesTheImprov.

Then finally there is me…

Drezirale still alive!

ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sadly… There are no long lost relatives for… Wait what? I have a sister? Really?

tumblr_ltrauwISa31r5scgro1_500

 

Drezirale


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

One of our top search terms for a long while here at Fisch Fail, INC. is “mexican batman.”

Batman and Robbin

Batman and Robbin (Photo credit: dianaoftripoli)

Seriously, don’t fucking believe me? Look at a sample of our search results below!

What the fuck is wrong with you people? “Skyrim nude,” really?

Mexican Batman actually beats out “skyrim nude,” “nude skyrim,” and “naked women playing skyrim.”

Seriously, how the fuck does this picture:

Eldwardo.

Eldwardo as the Mexican Batman?

Beat this picture? !


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

Hey guys, it’s me, fischfail. I bet you never thought I would return, didn’t you. Don’t fear though, it takes a lot to keep me down and out,

A child sad that his hot dog fell to the groun...

A child sad that his hot dog fell to the ground. Photographer’s blog post related to this photo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

although it has been getting easier to do so.

You will have to forgive me for not posting recently, between the veritable laundry list of illnesses, stress due to school and work, and a sudden onset of depression, I haven’t had much will to do very much. And while I will spare you all from most of that, I will share the following with you.

Today, I woke up with severe neck pain that prevents me from turning my head without excruciating pain shooting throughout my body, which is also causing my back to tighten back up, and not to even mention my teeth…

gross teeth

Obviously, not my real mouth.

But enough of the sad stuff surrounding my life.

Although the story behind this post is a little saddening as well, but for other reasons… I’ve been gone for a while; this is a clearly known fact (my last real post being made March 29, 2012). But I had a plan, a glorious and triumphant return: a plan that would make Fisch Fail, INC amazing, once more.

Sadly though, that plan was dashed away by the sudden and somewhat concerning disappearance of someone who has had very little mention here: StarStorm.

It would have been a post surrounding one of the two things authors of Fisch Fail, INC can actually admit to enjoying: video games and attractive women. This particular story would have focused on gaming and one very amazing online interaction that I personally encountered.

However, since that is likely to have gone out the door I am here to make this post, which will actually be combining a couple of posts that I had planned on making.

But now that I am done with the second sad bit of this post, it is time to move on to fun! Most of the following does not need further explanation… Or maybe they do, I am not really sure.

I forgot to do homework, because I am a huge slacker.

How did they know?

I thought you was corn.

…I don’t even know…

A muppet hanging out a window

Uhhhhhh, what is his name?

Actually, I saw this while driving to school. Unfortunately that was the only picture that ErinLovesTheWeb was able to snap off before the vehicle disappeared into a nearby suburb. Either way, let us continue.

Pants onfire

That is kinda how Fisch Fail, INC. is.

Computer gamer getting very angry

Admit, you’ve been there…

Who hasn’t wanted to beat the fuck out of the annoying kid next to them at the LAN party?

Robin WIlliams

So would I… I think

A guy "magically" catching a hat

I wonder how many takes that took?

Dubstep, kinda like that

Yup, exactly as I pictured it.

An impressive break dancer

This still manages to creep me out… Please make it stop.

Violent force of show

Get the fuck out of my way.

It's the Fett, I promise

This picture is not only awesome, but will piss Drezirale off.

And now for Fisch Fail, INC’s first ever post including actual nudity…

But wait, there’s more… That is NSFW


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? Thanks!
Titanomaxia Trilemma Supra Saga~ ready to init...

Titanomaxia Trilemma Supra Saga~ ready to initiate the ultimate game (Photo credit: KevinHutchins314)

So, I’ve actually been meaning to make this post for about a month now, and I don’t exactly know what has kept coming up to prevent me from doing so, but here it is. I was part of a group creation, along with ErinLovesTheWeb, Jihawk, Digustipated, Starstorm, Saga, and maybe a couple of others (if I forgot you, I sincerely apologize, buy you could leave a comment, and let me know!)

Let me introduce to you: The South East Michigan Independent Gaming Alliance of Yesteryear. Which is also known as The Semi-Gay. You want to join, send me a message (there are plenty of places where you can do so), and we will see what we can do.

And lets move onto the next bit of news… Does anyone but me remember Fisch Fail live events? I miss that shit, I might try to bring it back. They were fun while they lasted, and it was a good way for you guys to actually get to speak with us and meet us “in person.”

Also, I think we all forgot about this… But we need logos! Any of you remember the logo contest we had going on? The one where you guys were supposed to create a logo for us, so we can have official pictures that apply to us. The contest is simple, you guys design us an image that portrays the concept of Fisch Fail, INC (and if you don’t know what that means, perhaps you could take some time and read some of our older posts, it might clear some things up). We then take your logo design and make sure it gets immortalized for all the world to see… Or at least those who read our blog.

Speaking of contests, we are still looking for a model for some official Fisch Fail, INC flavor (personally, I like chicken and salmon, but you guys can choose other ones that are more to your liking). We could really use contestants, or else you guys get to see us presenting the magical gear and no one wants to see that. And I promise you guys, you will love it.

Also, you should never forget about “I’m Addicted to Your Mom!”

And now for the reason you guys are actually reading this post, the sexiest pictures of 2011 as judged by Fisch Fail, INC.

But wait, there’s ALWAYS more!