Posts Tagged ‘Food’

Can you taste it?

Posted: November 13, 2014 by fischfail in Tacopocalypse
Tags: , , , , , , ,

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Can you?

Can you taste the deliciousness of the taco as it enters your mouth? As you bite down for the first time? Can you feel the bite separate from the rest of the hand held tastiness?

Can you smell the taco fumes wafting throughout the room, filling the air with its delicious hunger-inducing scent?

Are you getting hungry? Are you getting excited to join the Fisch Fail, INC. taco party? Of course you are, don’t be silly.

So I promised an update regarding the Tacopocalypse, and tonight you receive it.

With LuzOb out of state and basically every other author living in the nether (hopefully training for their contributions to the Tacopocalypse), I decided it was time to let everyone in on a little more information.

But first, let’s review.

1) We are throwing a party. No one is supposed to physically join.
2) The idea, you buy / create tacos (recipe of your choice. See how accommodating we are?)
3) You take pictures / video of the before, the during, and the after. We want to see all the dirty taco destruction you have. Smash it into your mouth hole(s?), beat a taco with a baseball bat, throw it at your wife*. We don’t care what you do with the tacos, as long as they get “destroyed,” and you send us pictures or video and possibly hang out in a group chat (how else are we going to get that “Crunch heard ’round the world” sound?).
4) We would prefer you not to submit pictures of “taco poops,” although I don’t believe we are banning them (unless that becomes a major thing).

And that is basically the concept. At this point, you may be saying, “but fischfail, what else could you have to explain?” And I might reply with something like….

A date, motherfucker!

Or…. As close to one as I have currently.

Right now, I am looking at early January… Maybe late December… Maybe I am thinking New Years. I don’t quite know, but I am interested in what everyone thinks about possible date.

Seriously, let us fucking know. And let your friends know. Then have your friends let us know when they think the fucking date should be.

I think that is it for right now. Maybe a non-taco post soon. Maybe.

Maybe ever post from now until then will be about tacos… I guess we might have to wait and see.

And until then. Remember FFI loves you. We show it by staying away for long periods of time.

* Fisch Fail, INC. does not recommend actually chucking tacos at your partner, but if you do happen to toss a taco at them, we do encourage you to, at the very least, get a picture. I mean, otherwise what would have been the point?

Eh, maybe some real news tomorrow. Maybe.

But this weekend for sure. Real news, that is my promise to you.**

**I still suck at promises. Blow me.

Seriously, we love hearing from you guys. I love waking up early in the morning and seeing a bunch of fan stuff. Make it happen more often. Seriously, want to see my face when I see your interactions with us?



And because I haven’t said it in a long fucking time: Welcome to all our new followers. Feel free to interact with us, we are pretty sweet.


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

So this isn’t merely a LuzOb post… but a Luz and Grim post!

also most likely the only text-only Drunk Post… because Mr. Fail is not here…

So yeah…

We like Odin… just sayin’…

Say something deep Grim…………….

Grim here…

May we live our lives forever by the honor and sacrifice of our ancestors, and may the gods always look upon us and smile, for we carry on their names evermore in a world that looks upon our faith with indifference. Praise Tyr for his sacrifice, Praise Thor for protecting Midgard with mighty Mjolnir, and Hail Odin in his infinite wisdom.

Luz back… so there you go… apparently Grim is much more articulate when not exactly sober… also we now have an official toast as well!

Steak when you are hungry
Mead when you are dry
Love when you are lonely
Valhalla when you die!

Honestly I stole that from an old Irish drinkin toast, but fuck ’em…

Grim wants some drinking toast now…


okay.. focus focus…


we’ve also standardized our Futhark Runic system… which i accidentally called “futherk”…. sorry Odin…

aaaaaaaaanyway….  Here’s Grim…




An amulet, "silver strongly gilt", r...

An amulet, “silver strongly gilt”, representing the hammer of Thor. Found in 1877 in Skåne, Sweden. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


*soon to be Odinnssonnoonsonsonsonsonons

also we’ll post something more legit soon!

There’s a man…


A souvenir Indonesian parang.

a goddamn weapon!


Wait wait wait… didn’t we do this shit, like… a year ago?


Oh wait we fucking did


Well I fucking did…






thank him…












there is a man…







It became pregnant…

and gave birth to TERRY CREWS!

His left foot is an opalescent shotgun the can fire flaming Hostess Snowballs…

if he wants it to…

His right foot is…


and when he skips down the road he creates



After many months I was able to contact the King of England



So who is he?

Who is this Poseidon of Earth?

…this Gaia of the seas?

well hell, I dunno… the end.





That’s right…

and once again it’s his goddamn day of fucking birth!

So if you know what’s good for you…

Send him some money

Send him some booze

Send him a bunny



I said it last year, and I’ll quote it right now:

“This man is the friend I’ve always wanted and the brother I’ve always needed.

Just know you’re (STILL) appreciated, Mr. Fail.”

…and the best part? Unlike last year I can literally punch him in the dick because he is within the same walls as me.

Thank you Mr. Fail for everything, and have a happy fucking birthday.

It’s been a good run so far with FFI, and although we have a few slow-downs recently, we’re still growing every day.

Rainy Lake - August 2011-13

Rainy Lake - August 2011-13 (Photo credit: fabfotophotography)

If you are a reader of one little blog, casual or otherwise, you most likely won’t understand the title of this entry, and that’s a-ok. If you’re an author, most likely you won’t either, but you should and shame on you.

This date, August 13 2011, was when over one-thousand collective brains got to see the beauty that is Fisch Fail Inc. It was also the day that I noticed our blog was becoming something of a big deal. Honestly until that point I mostly blogged for no one, except for maybe myself and Mr. Fail, but afterward I began doing it for a lil ones… I mean the readers.

Seriously though; you guys have gotten us to new heights, and for that I am thankful.

A lot of crap has gone down recently (more on that later) so the blog has gotten somewhat neglected as of late, but hopefully that will change and more posts will be on their way.

Here’s to getting 1000000 views before the end of the year!

Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? Thanks!

Fisch Fail, INC, is still a baby, still growing, still something…infant

If we were a human baby, we would be learning to speak, and maybe eat something that didn’t have the consistency of baby food. But fuck, we’ve already moved on to tacos and alcohol… Says something about us!

Anyway, yesterday we hit a random milestone… 20,000 views (and damnit, I was going to make sure I got to make this announcement!).

So, it took us nearly a year and a half to get our first 10,000… It took us 6 months, to get our second.

Lets try and beat that record (for us) even quicker.

Tell everyone about FFI, let’s do it!




What have they done now?

Posted: February 12, 2012 by fischfail in awesome, Fisch Fail, Food, Humor, Life, Nerd, Random, WTF
Tags: , , , , ,

Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? Thanks!

So, today ErinLovesTheWeb and I made some awesome gear. Take a fucking look!

P.S. Sorry for any blurriness, we don’t have a camera capable of macro.

FFI Drink-ware


A moustache! Because I can't make my own...

Close-up of the mousetache

That is ErinLovesTheWeb with a stache.

Fucking classy

That is fucking right, that is some fucking drink ware, brought to you by the awesome that is Fisch Fail, INC.

All you can EAT buffet!

Posted: December 20, 2011 by MoonPie in Random
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Chinese Sure Does Sound Good Right Now!

Although the best Chinese food to date…is…. Canton Inn In Melvindale, Mi


No joke!

I left and then came to finish this post, and guess what I got?

Yep! Sweet and sour chicken MMmmmmm

I could Not resist!

Well I am out… LaterzImage


It’s a party in my mouth and everyone is coming.

Posted: August 26, 2011 by drezirale in Drugs, Food, WTF
Tags: , , , ,

Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? Thanks!
Synsepalum dulcificum

Image via Wikipedia

Well hello there FFI readers. It’s indeed been a while. I am trying to get back into the heavier posting like the other authors, lets see if I can do such a task. I actually meant to post this some time ago, but never got around to uploading the pictures. Well, now I have. Lucky you, huh?

So, a few weeks ago Luz, another friend (we’ll call him Jet for now on), and I decided that we would try these things called Miracle Berries that we’d seen on a geek affiliated site we frequent. The thing that Jet ended up buying was actually a pill form of the berries. Which is good because I’m sure the berries outright would be harder to get a hold of and more expensive. All the same I’m sure it’s comparable if not exact. The berries in which I speak of have the unique ability to negate the sour and bitter flavors of certain edibles. After finding out Jet had purchased the berries, we venture to one of my favorite grocery stores. We grab some exotic food, and some regular ones. I forget a lot of what was there but lets see if I can name a few.

  • Radishes
  • Turnips
  • Limes
  • Lemons
  • Dill
  • Tomato
  • Three Kinds Of Hot Pepper
  • Oranges
  • Mushrooms
  • Lychee
  • Prickly Pear
  • Avocado
  • Onion
  • Cilantro
  • Black Cherries
  • Garlic
  • Starfruit
  • Strawberries
  • Blueberries
  • Two Kinds Of Vinegar
  • Hot Sauce
  • Indian Assfruit (Bitter Mellon)
  • Two Kinds Of Cheese
  • Bananas
  • Cranberry Juice (Personal bane on me)

So we set this all up, Weakening Elms even decides to join us. Some of the flavor alterations were not to impressive, and some not at all. Assfruit still tasted like raw Indian anushole. Onion and garlic remained unchanged. Oranges however tasted like some sort of god fruit, limes and lemons tasted like real good lemonade. Starfruit for me tasted like Smarties, to Luz like Pixie Sticks, and to Jet like Pez. So a general powdered candy feel there. The stout beer Luz got which is normally a favorite of mine tasted almost like a mead.

The thing that threw me the most was the cranberry juice. I tasted no cran, I could actually bare the taste… It was almost like a really fine grape juice. That’s pretty much all that really stood out. Aside from the flavor tripping, that’s more than likely the healthiest meal anyone has had or will have here.



There’s a Man

Posted: August 17, 2011 by luzob in Random
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

A big, strong and passionate man…

…He can lift stumps from the earth

…with his dick.

He once made a 400 lb. man drop to his knees and sob uncontrollably…

…with a smile.


This wondrous individual can use his thoughts to propel small objects in orbit.

…I’ve seen it.

…it was a burrito.

Though we mourned the death of the wrapped Tex-Mex food item, the amazing man fed everyone of the on-lookers immediately afterward…

…just on his awesomeness.

…and we were full…

…and it lowered everyone’s cholesterol.


His tears are considered the greenest source of fuel.

…we still have to use gasoline because he never cries.

He once took a dump in Buckingham… the miraculous movement was swiftly Knighted.

…one day it shall become King.

He made the Old Spice guy break down and weep, just because he farted.

He slew the Orbitz white-suit man…

…just with a child-like giggle.

The Dairy Queen guy…

…calls him “All-Father”.

…and he laughed in the face of Mayhem.

Who is this God among humans?

Who could this beautiful beast possibly be?!?

You beg me to give you the name!

BEG me to allow the utterance of his perfection!

This man is…

That’s right…

and it’s his effing birthday, so make sure to give the founder of this amazing blog all the goddamn love you can muster…

…then give him more.

…until it bleeds you.

I assure you that your love will come back to you in a check for one-million beautiful happy-times.

This man is the friend I’ve always wanted and the brother I’ve always needed.

Just know you’re appreciated, Mr. Fail.

Time for Fat!

Posted: August 15, 2011 by luzob in Food
Tags: , , , ,

Now this is a first for FFI…

I found a snack…

That is not new to FFI, because we’re fat…

But what is new is the fact that we have a post entirely upon this snack.

You all ready?

…you fucking sure?

Well here you go…

You read it right… cheese fucking jerky.

Expectations: At first the thought of a cheese log with little bits of jerky was as exciting as it was terrifying. My first assumption was that a salty blob of Super Wisconsin Hatred (I’m not just discriminating; it’s from WI) was going to be dry and well… salty…

Reality: While not Poseidon’s Salty Butthole it is certainly a unigue flavor… I used to term “unigue” instead of “unique” because this is the first sound that flew through my brain as I began to take in the odor this fatsnack emitted. This buttstank was quite off-putting, but I continued… for SCIENCE!

As a born and (in)bred Michigan boy I loves me my Meat-and-Cheese snackery, so any new and interesting innovation to this area tends to draw me, but honestly I’ve yet to recall any other similar food product.


The taste, while not all “subtle grassy high notes with a mellow peaty ending tone” is not unpleasant whatsoever. Very similar to string cheese (due to it’s mozzarella base) but with a smoky aftertaste and a… chunky? texture?

Not to fool you, my dear readers, this product really tastes nothing like jerky. I do enjoy the occasional (truckload of) string cheese, so this flavor reminds me of elementary school lunches and one of my very first drunk-esque foods in the making (a hotdog and string cheese in a bun).

Would I recommend this foodstuff? Yes. It isn’t too expensive (a buck) and fits well with the new trend of premium gas station food (you heard me). If you want a strange-yet-nostalgic couple of bites, go for it.

I mean hell, what do you have to lose?

What? A short one….

Posted: August 5, 2011 by drezirale in Food, WTF
Tags: , , ,

Spoonerize this:

“Boar’s Head”

That one started out by talking about food… but became so much more….


So here is a little story from a long time ago, a much simpler time. I didn’t have a care in the world.

Hell I was in Delray for Christ sakes, a mini community in Southwest Detroit, riddled with crime and crack heads on every corner although that’s beside the point.

A friend and I were walking the streets in search for some reefer!

We knew exactly where to get some too.

Or so we thought!

Mind you there were no street lights; you couldn’t see shit except the metal bars over the windows of houses with their lights on. Seemed to me like that’s living behind bars. (Pun intended)

Anyways, we walked a few blocks over to look for our buddy that could get us a stash quick.

Frightened slightly as we walked towards the house, yet excited at the same time, we finally arrive.

So we knocked and knocked and no answer “shit” I said “shit” now what are we going to do?

All of a sudden a man appeared from the side of the house, beer in one hand and a blade in the other.

Oh shit I thought, what the hell is happening, who is this guy? Ha it was our buddy’s dad but he was too drunk to recognize us.

He says “what the phuck you want? Why are you knockin on my door?” Now imagine someone totally wasted saying that! Really funny if you get imaginative!

Anyways back to the story

I said “Cass and I are looking for your son” and he quickly replied “who’s that”. Befuddled at this point and wondered who I was really talking to.

Well our buddy’s father quickly got annoyed by us and approached me fiercely as I stood my ground like I was going to do something haha!

Still while holding his beer he grabs his blade and places it on my thigh as if he was going to stab me. Yes! Yes! I was scared!

While I feared for my life I looked for some help, I turned to Cass but where did he go? He went to get help I know he did….. phuck no that punk was two blocks down standing behind a tree watching me from a distance. Little dick head hahaha good times.

My buddy’s dad finally took the blade off my thigh, mind you still holding that phuckin beer can and let me go. I ran away like the Michael Johnson in the 1996 Summer Olympics 200 meter dash… I am not kiddin ya!

Double record holder Michael Johnson still hol...

Image via Wikipedia

Now that’s a memory I will never forget!

A Mountain Dew can.

Image via Wikipedia

I absolutely love Mountain Dew; I just can’t get enough of it!

There are many flavors to choose from, Hell I love them all.

Code Red, White out, Livewire and regular Mountain Dew, just to name a few.

Why does an industry make drinks that are so phuckin satisfying yet so bad for the body?

Have you looked at how much sugar is in those drinks? Its phuckin nuts, on top of that it’s per serving!!!

Here it is 9.694 teaspoons, 3.231 tablespoons or 1.616 ounces,
That’s almost a quarter cup! NOT good!

It’s pure syrup with a shot of carbonated water and flavoring.

FML I guess its water for me then, I can’t even enjoy PowerAde or Gatorade because it has almost as much sugar in it as regular soft drinks and don’t get me started on diet sodas hahah!

Idiots drinking that because they believe it’s better….. It’s even worse.

There is my Rant for the day!

Phuck you Pepsi Products!!!

Here is a thought. Now, I know contests are great and all but we should do something for the fans just because. I suggest and event, like a gathering of sorts. Perhaps a bar-b-que sometime around the end of summer. What do you guys think? Let me know.


Oder to ther Godfather

Posted: July 12, 2011 by drezirale in Alcohol, Bars
Tags: ,

Oh, deare godfathere! UIhow I lover youso. You tastere so gosd and get me dr4unk.

And noaow for the receipt!