Posts Tagged ‘Gaming’

AYCOoB: Burning Wrath of God – The Silence

Posted: November 27, 2012 by drezirale in Gaming
Tags: , ,

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(To my family, even though you are all with God. You’ll never leave my heart.)

May 16, 2014:

It’s a little quieter than usual. I’m actually not used to this. Not but a few moments ago this area echoed with the sounds of gunfire and explosions. However, there is now and eerie calm along the land. Perhaps it’s so strange to me not because the fighting has taken but a momentary pause, but rather it’s because I am truly alone now. I’ve just finished burying my brother–the very last family member I had. I’ve seen each member of my family murdered before my very eyes in this past year. I guess these are the things that happen in a war. Whatever the case may be Jerusalem is quiet… for tonight at the very least.

I’ve manage to find an abandoned house located near The Mount of Olives. The house is not in the safest of regions as it’s in Palestinian territory. I believe no one saw me enter and it’s boarded up nature–possibly by it’s prior residents, will aid in my concealment. If I were in fact to be attacked at this very moment there is not much I could do to defend myself as I have exhausted all of my ammunition for my pistol. At this current moment I have but a knife, simple provisions to last me a few days, and… this. This is the map my brother was carrying, the map that lead to his death. I cannot believe I still have this cursed thing. This map highlights all of the Palestinian encampments in Jerusalem, the camps my brother intended to assault.

Should I continue his mission? Should I take revenge for my family members who have been lost in the God forsaken war? I don’t even remember how the fighting even started, or which side is right anymore. Why did I even bother enlisting as a soldier. All of the men in my family did and they are all now dead. Does any of this fighting even matter? Has this land ever seen a time of peace? Why can’t the fighting just stop? Not just for tonight but forever. Both sides have lost so much it just needs to stop! Though, tonight it’s peaceful. If someone should happen to find this and never awaken… please remember my story. My name is Vayichar Af Hashem and today is my thirteenth birthday.


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This was originally planned to be a submission for 5 Things To Do Today, however I feel they may be a little too clean to actually post anything by us, even though they do follow us and for that we are grateful.

But enough about that, let us begin. This is going to be a bit different from all our other posts. This story is going to be a real-life honest-to-goodness genuine list! Or something like that.

First let me start off by saying that I am 25 years old, and I am now officially considered an adult by all “logic.” Now I am not saying I am the most intelligent guy around, I still have a lot to learn. In fact, most days I feel a little…


But one that I can say I have learned for certain is this: Sometimes being an adult fucking blows… One day you are a care-free child and the next day you are getting bitch-slapped by reality. Time to get a job,. Time to move out. Time to clean up after yourself. All this shit causes stress, and eventually all these stresses add up and cause people to make ridiculous decisions, like hunt down a wild walrus and… PUNCH THAT MOTHERFUCKER IN THE FACE!

But that not exactly the point of this story, which is how to help alleviate some of the bullshit rattling in your head and making your nearly miserable (or telling you to kill your coworkers).

1. Start a Nerf war: You and the people you live with shoot the piss out of each other with Nerf guns. Don’t have any? Go buy a couple, some of them are actually surprising cheap. Live on you own? Post it on facebook and tell all your other unhappy adult friends to join in. Simple as that.

Nerf gun collection

Holy shit! Do you see how much firepower this motherfucker has? Fucking war zone for days!

And you know a motherfucker is serious about Nerf when their collection includes a fucking paint ball mask!

2. Build a fort and defend that shit!: You know how to do this, gather up all the furniture, furniture pieces (i.e. cushions), bedding, and other shit that you can fin, then build a kick-ass fort. With this you are only limited by your imagination.

Click here, to continue reading !

Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

One of our top search terms for a long while here at Fisch Fail, INC. is “mexican batman.”

Batman and Robbin

Batman and Robbin (Photo credit: dianaoftripoli)

Seriously, don’t fucking believe me? Look at a sample of our search results below!

What the fuck is wrong with you people? “Skyrim nude,” really?

Mexican Batman actually beats out “skyrim nude,” “nude skyrim,” and “naked women playing skyrim.”

Seriously, how the fuck does this picture:


Eldwardo as the Mexican Batman?

Beat this picture? !

AYCOoB: Something bad has happened… Part 4

Posted: August 27, 2012 by fischfail in Gaming
Tags: , ,

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Author’s note: It has been a while since we last visited the tragic story of S3v3n, and you may want to reacquaint yourself with the rest of the story before continuing on. The chapters, if I may be so bold, can be found at the following links: “The Flood,” “The Storm,” part 1, part 2, and part 3.

 Although I lost the original writing of Part 4, and this is a remake, I could not let the story just fall to the wayside. When I first began writing the “Something bad has Happened…” series, it was only supposed to be a 4 part series, and the one reason I could never finish part 4 is: I am in love with S3v3n and Kara. I couldn’t just leave there story to end as such. And as such the new plan is to continue this series until I feel it complete.

I hope you continue to enjoy this story as much as I have.  With that, I feel it is time for the story to begin once again…

I’m not really sure what happened after I collapsed. I remember falling to the ground, screaming in pain, and wishing to die, but after that nothing.

I awoke to an odd tickling sensation. Keeping my eyes closed and enjoying the soft sounds of wind, I brought my hand to my chin and briefly rubbed my cheek. My hand felt cold and clammy, but wholly there. This entire thing has been some long strange nightmare. Everything was actually fine, and I couldn’t explain the tickling sensation so I assumed fucking fly’s were feasting on the charred, disfigured remains of my flesh.

The wind was steadily growing louder… No, that wasn’t right, it was growing…. Closer. But that is impossible. Wind doesn’t get closer, it is constant, unless you move towards it. The “closer” the sound drew, the more it reminded me of… “Gizmo.” It was a certain whirring that I had come to associate with him. How I missed him.

But there was one problem, this sound was coming from every direction at once. I finally opened my eyes, above me I could see thousands of cables running through the air; to my left I could see a bank of digital screens, like the one in my helmet; to my right a reflective surface, the word “funehawse” came to mind, but that was probably wrong.

I had seen them before, of course, but there was something wrong with this one. It distorted your image in some way that seemed to make no sense.

It made the viewer have a long scraggly beard, and gave them shiny limbs… And changed the color of their eyes… How peculiar?

I swung my legs to the side of the bed I was on… No bed was not the correct term, it was more like a soft table, and sat up. After a slight dizzy spell passed I was able to look at myself more closely in the “funehawse,”  how peculiar indeed.

“S3v3n, you have awoken, how do you feel?”  I recognized the sound of the voice almost instantly. It was CDQ5…. “John.”

After a moment of refusing to answer, the man-monster machine-thing spoke again: “Sorry, we had to sedate you. You were becoming a danger to both yourself and the forum, it was something that could not be tolerated. You should once again be fully operational, if you would follow me, we can begin moving forward.”

…Sedate me?

I brought my left hand to my face, the image in the funehawse matched my movements exactly, this time I could clearly feel it, the funehawse wasn’t playing tricks on me, I had a beard… A long one.

“How long have I been asleep?” My voice still sounded… Off. Then the memories came flashing back to me. Painfully fast, and in terrifying relief. The explosion. The missing arm. The… Voice modulator.

“Please S3v3n, if you would please follow me, I will explain. There is something I want to show you.” I shakily stood up and took a few steps. It felt as though I were stepping through mud, my legs were stiff. My boots produced a strange tinking sort of sound. It wasn’t a sound I could immediately place, but with all that happened, who knew? I followed “John” through a maze of corridors and doorways, if he didn’t bring me back I could be lost forever.

Finally, we arrive at a large door, and I can no longer take the silence. “I suppose whatever is behind this door is going to explain everything to me?” I can’t so much as hear “John” as feel him inside my head.

“Yes, but you may want to take a moment to steel yourself, this images behind this door and what they represent can be a little troubling to take in at first…” With that he unlocked the door and pushed it open.

As we walked in, I immediately noticed that I could see where I shouldn’t be able to. And something became immediately clear, although I am not sure how… This was a flesh slave farm.

The image, try as I might to explain is impossible. Imagine a person, connected to every type of testing machine in existence, with cables actually inserted into their body. Imagine, if you will that same person with a facial appearance that combines absolute terror, complete and total pain, and pure bliss all at the same time. Now suspend that person in a tube filled for pinkish goo. To make it all worse, imagine that person having both legs and arms removed for some unknown purpose. Finally, imagine that person’s flesh dissolving away, exposing muscular tissue and in some cases bone.

Now, take that exact scene and replicate it…

Hundreds, if not thousands of times.

“John” was speaking again, he was always speaking… I tried to focus, but this room was overwhelming, it was too much to take in at once…

“If you would follow me… I will explain.” With that, he lead me to a chair, in front of a bank of displays. Before I could protest, I felt myself being secured into place by straps unseen.

After all that has happened my fate is to live for an eternity as a… Science project?

I felt a moment of utter bliss stemming from my right forearm… The forearm that was no longer there. I remember it getting blown off, I saw it on the ground with my own two eyes.

“We were able to reattach your arm… Well a arm, at least, I think you will find this one superior to the one you lost…” The conversation ended at that. I looked down to see an arm there, directly in the place it should exist.

Except this one was metal, and appeared to have quite a bit of functionality, although I would be damned if I knew how to use it.

And there, directly in the middle of my forearm was a cable that ran from the ceiling and into my arm. If not for the feeling of sheer bliss, it would have been terrifying.

“Relax, S3v3n, it will make sense very soon…” And with that, I felt my right arm tense, my vision blur, and then darkness.

A darkness I never thought would end, but as I was beginning to lose all hope, there in the distance was a tiny glow. I glow I knew I must follow if I ever wanted to make it out of this…

Whatever the fuck this was…


If you liked this post, please check out some similar ones below:

Hey! Cheer up it ain’t that bad is what everyone says, PFFT! Whatever! I can’t rant about this is all day if I want don’t make me LOL!

Just kidding!

I thought I would share this picture I stumble across a about a week ago and it seems like it make me feel a bit better… Nothing wrong with that right! Inspiration is good, am I wrong?

SO Anyway, This is what I was referring to earlier that I stumbled upon a week ago. I felt the words as I read then, they  are powerful and it just gets to me sometimes because of the way I act occasionally. You all know you can not say you don’t feel the same way too sometimes, or occasionally. All it ever seems to me is that we get sad or upset because of the things we do not have instead of opening your eyes and looking at what you have right in front of you!

Nonetheless enjoy!

Uplifting I think

I borrowed this picture from a website, here is the link to it

Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

Hey guys, it’s me, fischfail. I bet you never thought I would return, didn’t you. Don’t fear though, it takes a lot to keep me down and out,

A child sad that his hot dog fell to the groun...

A child sad that his hot dog fell to the ground. Photographer’s blog post related to this photo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

although it has been getting easier to do so.

You will have to forgive me for not posting recently, between the veritable laundry list of illnesses, stress due to school and work, and a sudden onset of depression, I haven’t had much will to do very much. And while I will spare you all from most of that, I will share the following with you.

Today, I woke up with severe neck pain that prevents me from turning my head without excruciating pain shooting throughout my body, which is also causing my back to tighten back up, and not to even mention my teeth…

gross teeth

Obviously, not my real mouth.

But enough of the sad stuff surrounding my life.

Although the story behind this post is a little saddening as well, but for other reasons… I’ve been gone for a while; this is a clearly known fact (my last real post being made March 29, 2012). But I had a plan, a glorious and triumphant return: a plan that would make Fisch Fail, INC amazing, once more.

Sadly though, that plan was dashed away by the sudden and somewhat concerning disappearance of someone who has had very little mention here: StarStorm.

It would have been a post surrounding one of the two things authors of Fisch Fail, INC can actually admit to enjoying: video games and attractive women. This particular story would have focused on gaming and one very amazing online interaction that I personally encountered.

However, since that is likely to have gone out the door I am here to make this post, which will actually be combining a couple of posts that I had planned on making.

But now that I am done with the second sad bit of this post, it is time to move on to fun! Most of the following does not need further explanation… Or maybe they do, I am not really sure.

I forgot to do homework, because I am a huge slacker.

How did they know?

I thought you was corn.

…I don’t even know…

A muppet hanging out a window

Uhhhhhh, what is his name?

Actually, I saw this while driving to school. Unfortunately that was the only picture that ErinLovesTheWeb was able to snap off before the vehicle disappeared into a nearby suburb. Either way, let us continue.

Pants onfire

That is kinda how Fisch Fail, INC. is.

Computer gamer getting very angry

Admit, you’ve been there…

Who hasn’t wanted to beat the fuck out of the annoying kid next to them at the LAN party?

Robin WIlliams

So would I… I think

A guy "magically" catching a hat

I wonder how many takes that took?

Dubstep, kinda like that

Yup, exactly as I pictured it.

An impressive break dancer

This still manages to creep me out… Please make it stop.

Violent force of show

Get the fuck out of my way.

It's the Fett, I promise

This picture is not only awesome, but will piss Drezirale off.

And now for Fisch Fail, INC’s first ever post including actual nudity…

But wait, there’s more… That is NSFW

Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

I had this Crazy Dream the other night!

I never remember my dreams but I know I do dream so on occasion I will have a dream so vivid that I remember it. Since I did this time I think I will share it with you all…..

So the other night after a long days work and running errands and what have you, I passed out in my recliner, fear filled and in a state of shock when I awoken!

Some of you may remember the RPG Final Fantasy 7 (totally awesome game) and Ultima Weapon!

This guy was an optional boss in the game to receive the Ultimate weapon for Cloud.  I am sure you all remember Cloud right?

Well I started dreaming that the world was in Chaos due to a massive flying machine, I was like WTH! This cannot be real! It was all over the news and I was thinking did SkyNet take over or something but it was even crazier. That machine flying in the air, destroying everything in its path was Ultima Weapon! I freaked out but I knew that as long as you were not in its line of sight you had nothing to worry about.

I know I know it’s just a dream though and it gets weirder!

This massive weapon was flying around the neighborhood and I was like Barret (seen below)

from Final Fantasy and had this huge ass gun that is supposed to take down this weapon! Haha So I stood outside with this crazy real life weapon that would only be found in the game because the gun was bigger than I was, yet I had the strength to wield it for a tough battle ahead.

That my friends would prove to be futile!

Ultima Weapon spotted me outside on the back porch and swooped down from the sky for a fierce battle. I started unloading these ear pounding bullets into Ultima Weapon but did nothing and just as I started to realize I am fucked and out of Potions.

Ultima Weapon snatched the weapon from my hands and broke it in half as I fled for the door to run in the house. That would prove to be futile as well for my Mother and Sister were in there.

Let me tell ya, at this point my heart is beating a hundred miles an hour. I am so freaking scared and have not realized it was not real and wake up.

So I ran past my mother into the room where my sister was and I just sat there. I heard Ultima weapon using some type of mysterious force destroying everything in its path and then I heard my mother screaming. Then silence as I sat scared as shit with my eyes closed, my sister was doing the same thing on the other side of the room. My dumb ass didn’t hide but sat on the bed in front of the door while it was open.

Shaking and scared I peered open my eyes and then Ultima flashed past the room and I was like OMG! Next thing you know it he was in the room and came right at me and in a split second it was over! I was dead and sat there in my dream in total darkness, silent, no movement, heart pounding and I woke up! I had chills down my spine as I sat there a few moments and came to realize it was all just a dream!

That was a messed up dream people. I couldn’t go back to sleep for a while after that.

Although it was a crazy dream it makes me want to whip out the PS2 and start another game of FFVII

Until next time people, keep reading our blog! We have a lot more in store for you!