Posts Tagged ‘Luzob’


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is (probably) already done. Also don’t forget to follow my antics (i.e. stupidity) on Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Also, feel free to follow a possible descent into alcoholism at Untappd. Thanks!

Wow, what a weird fucking year.

Another year has come and gone, and like every year it is time for us to reflect on the year’s successes and failures, changes, and lessons learned.

Okay, so in reality we have done a post like this in a few years, however we usually all get together and discuss it. This year is a little different.

So, with no real care regarding the order of events here are some of the things that happened this year.

First, lets begin with one of the unofficial anthems of FFI during 2014.

 

 

For the first 8 months of 2014 there were two posts. A post regarding the sensational band, Baby Metal. And LuzOb’s annual post dedicated to the ringleader of this nightmare, me. It had been a rough year and summer for us all, and we were still reeling from losses and personal demons. We had all talked, extensively, about bringing “The blog” back, but never actually got around to doing anything about it. And once again, FFI almost went the way of the dinosaurs. And despite, continuously getting new followers, fans, and friends, we just couldn’t come back.

Then starting in August, we started posting some regularity again, even hashing out the plans for an event aptly named the #Tacopocalypse. And while the plan was the have the party (where no one fucking comes) before the end of the year, certain other events have prevented that. Don’t worry, we are still planning on having a taco destruction party. Look for it in Q1 (that’s right, some fucking business terms there… Because that’s we are, a business. Or something).

And now onto news that isn’t the same as always (i.e. we have this thing we are going to do… Look, we didn’t do it! Like always.)

Former author Drezirale, who said his goodbyes with us last year (Well, it was a hell of a ride), not only married this year, but also announced they are having a baby. Who would’ve thought?

After a few years of spinning poi, I finally decided to light a pair ablaze and hurl them around my body is a rhythmic pattern. Somewhere a few of the FFI “authors” (yeah, I’m calling you out, ErinLovesTheWeb(who is technically an editor) and Grimnir) have video of this event. Maybe one day they will appear here. Since then, there have been many other such sessions.

Next! Over the years, there have been many authors and contributors who have lived at The house that Fisch Fail, INC. built, and over time many of left the nest (so to speak). And now, the original member, the O.G. if you will has also decided to depart the homestead. Recently LuzOb announced he would be leaving his childhood home, in search of a new life, and while we remain in contact with him, our thoughts are with him. And in case you missed it, here is the list of authors who at one time or another have lived with LuzOb…

Eldwardo
Drezirale
ErinLovesTheWeb
FischFailFrog
Grimnir

In other news, one day I will learn how to use the tools presented here and quit forgetting to do stupid shit (like title the fucking post…).

ErinLovesTheWeb and I moved into a place of our own, finally. It is a crappy little one-bedroom apartment, that works well for us.

One day, I was driving home after a complete shit week, just fucking awful. And LuzOb called me and heard my having an angry explosion. Just flipping out, probably to a dangerous level. A little while he sent me the following message:

“Well our friendship is old enough to drink and I did that whole “learn to help” nonsense as a major. Lemme know what I can do. You’ve been helping me with a lot of nonsense lately too. Throughout my life I’ve had many friends, two actual brothers, and a handful of brothers and sisters through the Theod. There had always been one person whom I’ve called my Brother despite blood relation and even before a spiritual connection. We’ve gone through a lot there 22 years or so, and I want to let you know that you really mean a lot to me. I know things have been a little tricky and rough these past few years but you’ve changed so much for the better. You know those outbursts you had this evening? Those were the norm in the past for you, yet are a rarity now. Look forward, my Brother, for there are great things in store for someone as wonderful as you. Thank you for letting me know there still are those who are strong in body, mind, and heart in this world. Goodnight.”

My drunken mind, began crying. Thank you, Luz. Thank you.

In final news, for this post, and probably the year. After nearly five-years of dating, I finally got the courage to ask ErinLovesTheWeb for her hand in marriage. And as of Christmas Eve, her ring finger is shinier. It is pretty sweet. LuzOb knew about the proposal beforehand (kind of), and he demanded to know the details as they happened. So, when I sent him a picture of ErinLovesTheWeb holding up her hand and glowing / smiling like a fucking lunatic (unfortunately, I am at work and can’t really upload photos, but maybe I will upload it a little later), his reply was:

“I teared up. No lie.”

I love that guy, take that as you will.

For now, friends. I hope your year was good for growth, experience, and life. And if it was not, I am sorry. But, let’s try and make 2015 a good time for us all. Until next year, stay both safe and drunk. Especially stay safe if you are planning on being drunk.

fischfail_sig2


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

So as I sit here with my fellow authors, Luzob and Mr.Fail, I truly feel a wave of shame wash over me. I’ve complained a lot lately about feeling stagnant, stuck in a state of limbo as i am between jobs and semesters of school, and yet for some reason I have been absent from our humble little blog. I plan to change that.

Every Friday will be Firearm Friday, where i will either post a video of myself testing a boomstick or write a post about a certain weapon that I would love to add to my collection.

Every Monday will be about something that happened at school, because as all you current and former students know, some seriously messed up shit can happen on a “normal” Monday.

Every Wednesday will be Odin’s day. I’ll be posting wisdom in one form or another that I hope will enrich your lives as much as it does mine.

Every Thursday will be Thor’s day. This will be a post about armed combat, sometimes including a video of said combat taking place right here at Fisch Fail Inc.

Our prior absence will now be followed by posts the likes of which NONE of us have ever seen.

May the gods watch over you

Måtte Æser ser deg

Grim

Grimnir


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!
Tree Anus

Tree Anus (Photo credit: Mark Sadowski)

Yup… Going to hell, not because I stole that, but because I am genuinely a shitty person. I mean I’m not going to push an old woman down stairs that lead into the middle of a busy highway made of exploding turtle sphincters.

What the fuck did I just write?

Who the fuck knows anymore, I don’t. So, I’ve been gone a few days, it happens. All of the other authors of FFI have apparently been abducted because I haven’t heard shit from any of them.

Well, you know what I say… Fuck em.

Either way, this post is dedicated to the authors of FFI. I hope you enjoy. And if this song applies to you, as well, then I hope you take something from it.

As always, we stay around for you guys, we don’t need to the Internet to have narcissism-fueled monologues. On that note, we like to hear from you guys. Make that happen.

Also, I have a new signature, it is shown at the bottom… For reference, here is the old one (which will still be used from time to time).

Also, feel free to click either of the glorious pieces of artwork for a small “surprise” (a feature that will make its way to all authors signatures).

fischfail_sig

fischfail_sig2


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!
NSFW

NSFW (Photo credit: Travis S.)

After the popularity of my recent picture post, I decided to do a semi-regular picture post containing ridiculous images I have found while traversing the Internet. Again, I am making no claims that these images are my own (unless otherwise noted), and I do apologize if you feel I have stolen from you in some way. None of the images in this post are explicitly NSFW, however depending on your work environment, there may be one or two that could be bothersome. And now, all the warnings are out of the way.

On to the show!

This time around, I have a collection of 35 images sure to brighten your day, confuse you, or finally convince you to stop visiting us (not that we want that, but things happen).

tumblr_mekqmcbOC61r3k73wo1_500

It is true, I’ve run the tests.

wtf-bro-my-god-011713-07

I really feel this should have made it in http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZsKqbt3gQ0

tumblr_mfasr6Qs1R1r3k73wo1_500

tumblr_m9bnf0jXYq1qlqmx9o1_500

The day SpongeBob learned how to deepthroat.

Click here, to continue reading !


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!
Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin (Photo credit: xomiele)

This day is indeed a grand occasion. Today is the day we all discovered or long lost relatives. This is great because well, they are famous. While we are somewhat famous, especially myself, our relatives are wildly known throughout the world.

So lets start off shall we:

First we have Mr. Fail’s long lost son, Jonah Hill. As you can see here, the family resemblance is uncanny. (Click the pictures to inbiggen)

FISCH FUCKING FAIL!

FISCH FUCKING FAIL!

JONAH FUCKING HILL!

JONAH FUCKING HILL!

Fucking crazy right? Here is some more:

Here is LuzOb and his brother separated at birth TheFrogman

LuzOb

LuzOb

TheFrogman

TheFrogman

Speaking of frog men guess what Fisch Fail Frog, we found yo daddy!

F3

F3

Kremit

Kremit

We cannot forget about Eldwardo and his uncle Zorro.

Eldwardo

Eldwardo

Zorro

Zorro

Taught him everything he knows….

Then we have Grimnir…

Grim

Grim

He is related to THOR GOD OF THUNDER!

....and rock and roll...

….and rock and roll…

No.. I lied it’s actually this guy.

Sam Huntington

Sam Huntington

Here is Moonpie and his boy.

MoonPie

MoonPie

Also Moonpie

Also Moonpie

I wonder if Moonpie Sr. is chocolate flavor too…

Here’s a good one of Ech and his lot:

Ech13

Ech13

Ech Clones

Ech Clones

I told him not to take that vacation in Kamino

In any case here is ErinLovesTheWeb and her pops Drew Carey.

Fucking classy

ELTW

Drew Carey

Drew Carey

Incidentally, Drew Carey is actually only his stage name. His real name is DrewCareyLovesTheImprov.

Then finally there is me…

Drezirale still alive!

ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sadly… There are no long lost relatives for… Wait what? I have a sister? Really?

tumblr_ltrauwISa31r5scgro1_500

 

Drezirale


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!
Fisch

Fisch (Photo credit: HamburgerJung) I personally think this should become our new logo.

So, Breeish called it. Almost 2 years ago at this point. She said, and I quote “^ I am surprised Fisch doesn’t have a post about this up.” I will be honest, I never actually took the time to look up what the fuck that meant, until now.

Wow, how the fuck did you know?

I don’t much discuss issues of poo, on this here blog (I leave that reserved for Drezirale who no longer posts because he is a cunt), but when I do, I something…. I don’t even know anymore, I apologize.

And now to explain my absence. I’ve been gone, deal with it, as for the other authors, I cannot say. (Although it, sadly,  may be about time to “trim some fat around here”).

On an important side note, remember that the “I’m Addicted To Your Mom” contest is nearing completion, and we are still accepting entries. Remember, with no entries, we cannot announce a winner.

Fuck it, who likes pictures (not related to the previous shit!)?

Eh, who the fuck am I kidding, you guys love pictures, and below are some random ones in no particular order. Have fun! Obviously, most of the following are not original content, sorry if I “stole” from you.

3cOjmUH

4B33vTF

4raaRZl

Click here, to continue reading !



Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

Hey guys, I’m not sure why this was never posted, although there is several authors who could have posted this particular story.Viking longship

So, I will tell it. At least as well as my fading memory will allow me to. If I am missing something, I apologize, but perhaps LuzOb, Drezirale, or Ullersson could fill in the blanks, they were there as well.

I don’t remember the date, and even to attempt to give one would be an insult to all of you, I do know it was a warm night in June or July (another reason some of my memories are fading).

But first, go ahead and click play on the song below and continue reading.

The plans had been made, LuzOb and Ullersson were going to meet for drink, cigars, and all the festivities that go along with those. And that is were the story begins. Soon after Drezirale joined the party.

Click here, to continue reading !


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

One of our top search terms for a long while here at Fisch Fail, INC. is “mexican batman.”

Batman and Robbin

Batman and Robbin (Photo credit: dianaoftripoli)

Seriously, don’t fucking believe me? Look at a sample of our search results below!

What the fuck is wrong with you people? “Skyrim nude,” really?

Mexican Batman actually beats out “skyrim nude,” “nude skyrim,” and “naked women playing skyrim.”

Seriously, how the fuck does this picture:

Eldwardo.

Eldwardo as the Mexican Batman?

Beat this picture? !


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

Here it is once again, another posting about SPAM.

White bitches bow down

White bitches bow down (Photo credit: alaspoorwho)

If you recall I have done a few of these in the past, and this one should be no different fundamentally.

Lately, we have received a lot of bullshit, the same generic ones about SEO rankings over and over again, but due to some recent posts we have made, we have received some amazing comments.

So here are some of the better choices:

This grotesque human/wasp hybrid is what leads all of the wasps. It’s fingertips are 12 inch long stingers that are 2 inches wide. This is rarely reported by humans for the very second you see it wasps burst from your eyelids and it’s scream makes a projectile swarm at it’s target. Needless to say if you see it you don’t survive. If you hear buzzing at night don’t open your eyes, it watches you sleep in hopes someone will wake up to be the next victim.

In response to LuzOb’s “Norse Crisis Flowchart”

This piece of writing presents clear idea for the new users of blogging,that truly how to do running a blog.

A “comment” posted on Drezirale’s “Bahn Hammür, or How I Learned To Stop Bitching and Love The Show.”

I loved up to you will receive carried out proper here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an nervousness over that you wish be handing over the following. in poor health for sure come further until now again as exactly the similar nearly a lot ceaselessly inside of case you protect this increase.

Also posted to Drezirale’s “Bahn Hammür, or How I Learned To Stop Bitching and Love The Show.”

That is it, this time around, stay tuned, and have fun!

P.S. I am too lazy to make the above articles links, maybe one of the other authors will do so.


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

You guys get no description with this one…

 


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!
Madam Red with Grell Sutcliff

Madam Red with Grell Sutcliff (Photo credit: davidyuweb)

Hey guys, it is fischfail, I’ve been gone for a while once again, and it is not something I am going to apologize for again. But I can offer a brief explanation as to my whereabouts…

Like I said, I’ve been going for a while, so long in fact that I (just like every other author we have) missed deadlines for contests that we had running, as well as our second birthday.

Now, you may be asking yourself: “What? You mean this place has actually been around for over two fucking years now?” But more than likely, you are asking “Why does that actually matter? You guys didn’t do shit, and it is only your fault that no one celebrated it…”

And that is true, to an extent. I’ve been busy, ErinLovesTheWeb has been busy, fucking LuzOb has been busy… We have all been fucking busy, and none of us have been spending much time around here lately.

Shit happens…

Either way, I’m saying this right here, right now: both the “FFI’s Next Top Model” and “FFI’s Logo Design Contest” will run another full fucking year.

But that is not the only fucking awesome news… No! We are also starting a new fucking contest. You guys have heard me discus the concept of “I’m Addicting to Your Mom” and you guys can become part of it. It is very simple, tell us a story, any story, if we like it, we will have fun with it.

For instance, maybe there was a time you got stuck in a couch; maybe, just maybe you tickled a moose’s vagina; maybe you lost your virginity to an entire testosterone fueled football team; whatever your story is, as long as it is real, tell us. We want to hear all about it.

Don’t worry, all the above information will have its own page right here on the blog, with all the rules and requirements that go along with it.

Seriously you guys, we know you visit us, we know you read us… Make us hear you; yell at us, talk to us, fuck you can even throw us a ham sandwich. We don’t care, just speak up, chime in, and let us know what you are thinking.
And I don’t want to hear any shit about “well, you guys do not have accounts on any of the things I like!” To that, good Sir or Madam, I call bullshit. We are constantly growing and digging our odd sense of humor into more and more locations around the interwebs…

Maybe you like forums, well you can click this fucking link here: Forums

Maybe, you prefer facebook: Facebook or even Facebook fan page

Twitter?

Reddit?

Tumblr?

Digg?

Youtube?

Delicious?

Linked In?

Maybe you prefer to text me personally? Sure, not a fucking problem, just dial 1-734-252-6387 into whatever fucking fancy mobile device is in your pocket. Send me a text message; send me a picture; fuck, send me a fucking voice mail. I don’t care.

Or perhaps you like only communicating via e-mail? Again, not a fucking problem, send me a fucking message at: Gmail, Hotmail, even motherfucking Yahoo?

See what I mean? We can be found all over the fucking place! And the best part is? Those aren’t even half of them… Seriously, look us up, we can be contacted and any way you see fit!Not to mention, here at the home of Fisch Fail, INC.

Seriously, at any of those fucking places can you send me comments, pictures, videos, whatever you want… We want to hear from you. Make it happen.

Now that I am done on my soapbox, we will see you later… And don’t forget to check out the contest sections listed above. Seriously, you guys might learn some new shit!


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

Hey guys, it’s me, fischfail. I bet you never thought I would return, didn’t you. Don’t fear though, it takes a lot to keep me down and out,

A child sad that his hot dog fell to the groun...

A child sad that his hot dog fell to the ground. Photographer’s blog post related to this photo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

although it has been getting easier to do so.

You will have to forgive me for not posting recently, between the veritable laundry list of illnesses, stress due to school and work, and a sudden onset of depression, I haven’t had much will to do very much. And while I will spare you all from most of that, I will share the following with you.

Today, I woke up with severe neck pain that prevents me from turning my head without excruciating pain shooting throughout my body, which is also causing my back to tighten back up, and not to even mention my teeth…

gross teeth

Obviously, not my real mouth.

But enough of the sad stuff surrounding my life.

Although the story behind this post is a little saddening as well, but for other reasons… I’ve been gone for a while; this is a clearly known fact (my last real post being made March 29, 2012). But I had a plan, a glorious and triumphant return: a plan that would make Fisch Fail, INC amazing, once more.

Sadly though, that plan was dashed away by the sudden and somewhat concerning disappearance of someone who has had very little mention here: StarStorm.

It would have been a post surrounding one of the two things authors of Fisch Fail, INC can actually admit to enjoying: video games and attractive women. This particular story would have focused on gaming and one very amazing online interaction that I personally encountered.

However, since that is likely to have gone out the door I am here to make this post, which will actually be combining a couple of posts that I had planned on making.

But now that I am done with the second sad bit of this post, it is time to move on to fun! Most of the following does not need further explanation… Or maybe they do, I am not really sure.

I forgot to do homework, because I am a huge slacker.

How did they know?

I thought you was corn.

…I don’t even know…

A muppet hanging out a window

Uhhhhhh, what is his name?

Actually, I saw this while driving to school. Unfortunately that was the only picture that ErinLovesTheWeb was able to snap off before the vehicle disappeared into a nearby suburb. Either way, let us continue.

Pants onfire

That is kinda how Fisch Fail, INC. is.

Computer gamer getting very angry

Admit, you’ve been there…

Who hasn’t wanted to beat the fuck out of the annoying kid next to them at the LAN party?

Robin WIlliams

So would I… I think

A guy "magically" catching a hat

I wonder how many takes that took?

Dubstep, kinda like that

Yup, exactly as I pictured it.

An impressive break dancer

This still manages to creep me out… Please make it stop.

Violent force of show

Get the fuck out of my way.

It's the Fett, I promise

This picture is not only awesome, but will piss Drezirale off.

And now for Fisch Fail, INC’s first ever post including actual nudity…

But wait, there’s more… That is NSFW


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

One sole man, face creased with age and sorrow, stands across a fjord, and ponders upon Fate’s cruel sense of humor.

Long Horned European Wild Ox (aurochs)

Long Horned European Wild Ox (aurochs) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

He has felt the frigid salt-kissed breeze through his bones for many decades, yet today is the coldest he has ever been.

Often the sounds of wild aurochs would give him comfort and remind him of home, but not today, for he has no place to lay his head now.

This man, while knowing the Gods are still with him, wonders what he has done to anger them so.

He casts the symbols of his ancestors that vigilantly rest in a bag upon a stone flattened by the elements. Never has the world seen a more somber expression upon the visage of a mortal, and with the ritual complete he sets upon a journey no man should undertake.

To see what he understands is to walk by his side, to feel his pain, and to know true despondency.

 

 


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? Thanks!
Titanomaxia Trilemma Supra Saga~ ready to init...

Titanomaxia Trilemma Supra Saga~ ready to initiate the ultimate game (Photo credit: KevinHutchins314)

So, I’ve actually been meaning to make this post for about a month now, and I don’t exactly know what has kept coming up to prevent me from doing so, but here it is. I was part of a group creation, along with ErinLovesTheWeb, Jihawk, Digustipated, Starstorm, Saga, and maybe a couple of others (if I forgot you, I sincerely apologize, buy you could leave a comment, and let me know!)

Let me introduce to you: The South East Michigan Independent Gaming Alliance of Yesteryear. Which is also known as The Semi-Gay. You want to join, send me a message (there are plenty of places where you can do so), and we will see what we can do.

And lets move onto the next bit of news… Does anyone but me remember Fisch Fail live events? I miss that shit, I might try to bring it back. They were fun while they lasted, and it was a good way for you guys to actually get to speak with us and meet us “in person.”

Also, I think we all forgot about this… But we need logos! Any of you remember the logo contest we had going on? The one where you guys were supposed to create a logo for us, so we can have official pictures that apply to us. The contest is simple, you guys design us an image that portrays the concept of Fisch Fail, INC (and if you don’t know what that means, perhaps you could take some time and read some of our older posts, it might clear some things up). We then take your logo design and make sure it gets immortalized for all the world to see… Or at least those who read our blog.

Speaking of contests, we are still looking for a model for some official Fisch Fail, INC flavor (personally, I like chicken and salmon, but you guys can choose other ones that are more to your liking). We could really use contestants, or else you guys get to see us presenting the magical gear and no one wants to see that. And I promise you guys, you will love it.

Also, you should never forget about “I’m Addicted to Your Mom!”

And now for the reason you guys are actually reading this post, the sexiest pictures of 2011 as judged by Fisch Fail, INC.

But wait, there’s ALWAYS more!