Posts Tagged ‘Nerd’


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So I had a terribly evil and horrible idea a while ago while looking back at one of my favorite nerdy news blogs, Topless Robot. A former writer of said blog named Rob Bricken had a weekly post called Fanfiction Friday that I found to be disturbing, disgusting and so god damn funny it hurt. Unfortunately like all the good things in my life it ended when he moved on to (what I hope are) bigger and better things writing for i09. He did continue to do FFF on io9 for a while it was shut down after it was decided that being on the much lager site FFF looked like the big bad guy picking on the small, defenseless writers. This makes me a sad panda. SO after having to much to drink and reading some of my favorite FFF posts I decided to try my hand at this bit of satire.

So now that where this idea came from is out of the way I should probably explain what the unholy hell this is about. Basically I will be presenting a piece of fanfiction with my reactions as I read through it. Think of it like Mystery Science Theater 3k but with graphically disturbing fanfiction instead of terrible films.  Hopefully in my drunken state I can at least bring a bit of a chuckle out of any poor souls who happen upon this post and are unfortunate enough to read what I have. My other goal is to cause any of the writers of Fisch Fail to start vomiting uncontrollably, but that’s only because I love them so much.

In any case I should probably get this started.

Today’s story is called “WHAT’S 25 FEET TALL AND COMES IN PINTS?”.

Yep a Jurassic Park fanfiction by Michael Collins (I hope the writer didn’t use his real name). May god have mercy on my soul.

Warning, beyond this point is very NSFW !


Drezirale


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Fisch

Fisch (Photo credit: HamburgerJung) I personally think this should become our new logo.

So, Breeish called it. Almost 2 years ago at this point. She said, and I quote “^ I am surprised Fisch doesn’t have a post about this up.” I will be honest, I never actually took the time to look up what the fuck that meant, until now.

Wow, how the fuck did you know?

I don’t much discuss issues of poo, on this here blog (I leave that reserved for Drezirale who no longer posts because he is a cunt), but when I do, I something…. I don’t even know anymore, I apologize.

And now to explain my absence. I’ve been gone, deal with it, as for the other authors, I cannot say. (Although it, sadly,  may be about time to “trim some fat around here”).

On an important side note, remember that the “I’m Addicted To Your Mom” contest is nearing completion, and we are still accepting entries. Remember, with no entries, we cannot announce a winner.

Fuck it, who likes pictures (not related to the previous shit!)?

Eh, who the fuck am I kidding, you guys love pictures, and below are some random ones in no particular order. Have fun! Obviously, most of the following are not original content, sorry if I “stole” from you.

3cOjmUH

4B33vTF

4raaRZl

Click here, to continue reading !


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

Hey guys, it’s me, fischfail. I bet you never thought I would return, didn’t you. Don’t fear though, it takes a lot to keep me down and out,

A child sad that his hot dog fell to the groun...

A child sad that his hot dog fell to the ground. Photographer’s blog post related to this photo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

although it has been getting easier to do so.

You will have to forgive me for not posting recently, between the veritable laundry list of illnesses, stress due to school and work, and a sudden onset of depression, I haven’t had much will to do very much. And while I will spare you all from most of that, I will share the following with you.

Today, I woke up with severe neck pain that prevents me from turning my head without excruciating pain shooting throughout my body, which is also causing my back to tighten back up, and not to even mention my teeth…

gross teeth

Obviously, not my real mouth.

But enough of the sad stuff surrounding my life.

Although the story behind this post is a little saddening as well, but for other reasons… I’ve been gone for a while; this is a clearly known fact (my last real post being made March 29, 2012). But I had a plan, a glorious and triumphant return: a plan that would make Fisch Fail, INC amazing, once more.

Sadly though, that plan was dashed away by the sudden and somewhat concerning disappearance of someone who has had very little mention here: StarStorm.

It would have been a post surrounding one of the two things authors of Fisch Fail, INC can actually admit to enjoying: video games and attractive women. This particular story would have focused on gaming and one very amazing online interaction that I personally encountered.

However, since that is likely to have gone out the door I am here to make this post, which will actually be combining a couple of posts that I had planned on making.

But now that I am done with the second sad bit of this post, it is time to move on to fun! Most of the following does not need further explanation… Or maybe they do, I am not really sure.

I forgot to do homework, because I am a huge slacker.

How did they know?

I thought you was corn.

…I don’t even know…

A muppet hanging out a window

Uhhhhhh, what is his name?

Actually, I saw this while driving to school. Unfortunately that was the only picture that ErinLovesTheWeb was able to snap off before the vehicle disappeared into a nearby suburb. Either way, let us continue.

Pants onfire

That is kinda how Fisch Fail, INC. is.

Computer gamer getting very angry

Admit, you’ve been there…

Who hasn’t wanted to beat the fuck out of the annoying kid next to them at the LAN party?

Robin WIlliams

So would I… I think

A guy "magically" catching a hat

I wonder how many takes that took?

Dubstep, kinda like that

Yup, exactly as I pictured it.

An impressive break dancer

This still manages to creep me out… Please make it stop.

Violent force of show

Get the fuck out of my way.

It's the Fett, I promise

This picture is not only awesome, but will piss Drezirale off.

And now for Fisch Fail, INC’s first ever post including actual nudity…

But wait, there’s more… That is NSFW


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Titanomaxia Trilemma Supra Saga~ ready to init...

Titanomaxia Trilemma Supra Saga~ ready to initiate the ultimate game (Photo credit: KevinHutchins314)

So, I’ve actually been meaning to make this post for about a month now, and I don’t exactly know what has kept coming up to prevent me from doing so, but here it is. I was part of a group creation, along with ErinLovesTheWeb, Jihawk, Digustipated, Starstorm, Saga, and maybe a couple of others (if I forgot you, I sincerely apologize, buy you could leave a comment, and let me know!)

Let me introduce to you: The South East Michigan Independent Gaming Alliance of Yesteryear. Which is also known as The Semi-Gay. You want to join, send me a message (there are plenty of places where you can do so), and we will see what we can do.

And lets move onto the next bit of news… Does anyone but me remember Fisch Fail live events? I miss that shit, I might try to bring it back. They were fun while they lasted, and it was a good way for you guys to actually get to speak with us and meet us “in person.”

Also, I think we all forgot about this… But we need logos! Any of you remember the logo contest we had going on? The one where you guys were supposed to create a logo for us, so we can have official pictures that apply to us. The contest is simple, you guys design us an image that portrays the concept of Fisch Fail, INC (and if you don’t know what that means, perhaps you could take some time and read some of our older posts, it might clear some things up). We then take your logo design and make sure it gets immortalized for all the world to see… Or at least those who read our blog.

Speaking of contests, we are still looking for a model for some official Fisch Fail, INC flavor (personally, I like chicken and salmon, but you guys can choose other ones that are more to your liking). We could really use contestants, or else you guys get to see us presenting the magical gear and no one wants to see that. And I promise you guys, you will love it.

Also, you should never forget about “I’m Addicted to Your Mom!”

And now for the reason you guys are actually reading this post, the sexiest pictures of 2011 as judged by Fisch Fail, INC.

But wait, there’s ALWAYS more!


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Just for you Drezirale… I know how much you love that song…

Let's Get Down

Let's Get Down (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Either way, I am back now (we had some issues surrounding wireless that I could not fix…), and now

lets resume where we left off…

Yet another Pictophone booklet, this one was started by the very amazing ErinLovesTheWeb..

01

I don’t think We’re in Kansas anymore.

02

03

Don’t think about shoes or the dog will bite you.

04

Click here to continue reading!


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This is the third installment of my pictophone series. This booklet comes from the very awesome B.E.N. (whose name may change in

the future)…

Either way, here we go. And once again, I will make sure to make captions for the written pieces of artwork.

#1

I am a jelly donut

#2

#3

I am singing about a box of raisins

#4

#5

Sing take me out to the ballgame

#6

#7

Singing baseball player

#8

#9

I’m not exactly sure what happened here, but it says “I sing while playing baseball”

#10

Ten more image brought to you by the game called pictophone. And now you all know that the phrase “I am a jelly doughnut” directly translates to a screaming man with a gigantic misshapen club-like penis singing while a baseball hurls towards him.

For some bonus content for you guys, I leave you this.

And that is it for me for today. Keep being fucking awesome you guys.


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When driving home from class this past Saturday, I noticed a car I had never seen before.

Colours

Normally that wouldn’t at all be surprising, and I am not that educated when it comes to the monstrous beasts (believe me when I say, they might as well work by magic).

But now that aside is done, let me begin my story.

I had just merged on a rather popular interstate highway, when I noticed this car. A Ford C-Max. Much like the one below…

The only difference being the one I saw was dark purple. So far this story is not that interesting or entertaining. But then I saw another directly in front of that one. Except it was purple, just like that fucking dinosaur I’m sure we all remember so well. but if you don’t let me give you a brief introduction…

Ewwwww. Now that the “video” has finished let me continue my strange little story.

However let you give you a brief recap… I enter the interstate highway and see a vehicle (Ford C-Max) that I’ve never seen before. It was dark purple…

Directly in front of that one was a purple Ford C-Max…

Okay still not entirely strange. But then I noticed there was yet another Ford C-Max in front of that one… A blue one. Still noticing nothing too strange, I light a smoke and continue on my journey home, and as I round a curve I notice yet another C-Max… This time in green.

I look at the cars in a line to verify that I am in fact not crazy and my brain was just telling me the wrong color (or the paint job that actually changed colors). Sure enough there were four of them in a row, (from back to front) colored dark purple, purple, blue, and green.

I look forward down the line of cars in the lane and notice a yellow car. I can only guess that it was yet another Ford C-Max… Except this one was following an orange one which in turn was following a red one…

My thoughts start reeling… Am I truly looking at a rainbow created by Ford C-Max vehicles?

Yes, yes I am…

And then I notice something else…

They all change lanes at the exact same time, would all turn on or off headlamps at the exact same second, and change   speeds at the same rate and time.

Okay, so I saw 7 Ford C-Max cars just so happening to make a rainbow… Big deal. But then something surprising happened…

The red one changed lanes, and reduced speed. As soon as the yellow car was in front, it also switched lanes. This continued happening until they were all in the reverse order (from first to last: dark purple, purple, blue, green, yellow, orange, red).

Finally, after following closely behind for 15 minutes, the take an exit not to be seen again.

It kinda made a rather shitty day, a little less gay… Somehow.

Either way, kinda cool marketing/sales strategy.

 


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Time for part 2 of the pictophone series. Stand back and watch the awesome unfold.

A baby wearing many items of winter clothing: ...

Image via Wikipedia

If you remember from the first post I made, I discussed how the game goes, the one thing I forgot to mention is: everybody in the circle does this at the same time (if you have five people playing, there are five people either writing or drawing at the same time).

This “booklet” (the name I will use to describe one stack of papers) comes from StarStorm (more on him in the future). And now that I think about it, I forgot to mention the author of the first booklet, JiHawk (also more of her in the future). My apologies ma’am, please don’t shank me for forgetting to mention you.

Remember to scroll slowly, taking in each amazing piece of written masterpiece and showmanship of pure artistic talent.

#1

It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your cloths

#2

 

#3

Hot airplanes gaining altitude love clothes

#4

 

#5

Flying planes love clothing?

#6

 

#7

Fly your heart to clothes

#8

 

#9

A flying heart leads to empty clothes (which can be strangely accurate!)

#10

 

Well, there you have it. Pictophone part 2. I hope you guys enjoyed this one as much as the last, and I do have more lined up and ready to be shown to the world, but I think one pictophone booklet is enough for one post.

So, until next time, remember: Don’t take life too seriously. It might just kill you.

 

P.S. The title of this post is brought to you by the following song.


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Fail

Image via Wikipedia

There was a blog aptly named Fisch Fail, INC.  and it did… Stuff.

So, it’s been a short while since I’ve last posted. And there are plenty of stories to be

shared with that. And hopefully

they will all come into existence very soon.

Since, it seems most of my authors have disappeared into the abyss, there has been a shortage of posts recently. A

lso, Ullersson, if you happen to read this, I do have a signature for you. I’ve actually had it for months… You can ask Luz about getting a hold of me.

So either way, ErinLovesTheWeb and I are part of a new group (which you will hear about in the very near future. But today’s story is related to it, however no background information is needed for that at this time.

There is a game we’ve been playing for a short while, called Pictophone. If you’ve never heard of the game, let me explain the rules.

 

1) Find a group of people.

2) Give each person sheets of paper equal to the number of people in the group.

3) Each person writes a phrase or statement on the first sheet of paper.

4) Everyone passes their entire stack of paper (picture on front) to the person on their left.

5) The new person puts the phrase on the back of the pile of the papers.

6) The new person then draws a picture representing the original phrase.

7) The person then passes the entire stack of papers to their left again.

8) The new person then looks at the picture, and moves it to the back of the stack.

9) The new person then writes a statement describing the picture (they are not allowed to look at anything but the top sheet).

10) Repeat until the circle has completed.

11) Read the results and have many lolz.

It sounds silly, but it is a lot of fun.

The following is one example from a night of play. I will include captions for the written sheets of paper. Scroll slowly to fully take everything in.

#1

December is for cynics

#2

 

#3

You should tell your cold friends when the calender shows snow on trees.

#4

 

#5

The screaming calendar man helps the monkeys with mittens.

#6

#7

Sleep Monkey

#8

 

#9

The monkey’s on a leash while you sleep

 

#10

 

And that is basically the game (well 1 of 5 peoples chain of translations). I will try and post a different one every couple of days. By the end of the night, we were all screaming in pain from laughter.

 


It’s been a good run so far with FFI, and although we have a few slow-downs recently, we’re still growing every day.

Rainy Lake - August 2011-13

Rainy Lake - August 2011-13 (Photo credit: fabfotophotography)

If you are a reader of one little blog, casual or otherwise, you most likely won’t understand the title of this entry, and that’s a-ok. If you’re an author, most likely you won’t either, but you should and shame on you.

This date, August 13 2011, was when over one-thousand collective brains got to see the beauty that is Fisch Fail Inc. It was also the day that I noticed our blog was becoming something of a big deal. Honestly until that point I mostly blogged for no one, except for maybe myself and Mr. Fail, but afterward I began doing it for a lil ones… I mean the readers.

Seriously though; you guys have gotten us to new heights, and for that I am thankful.

A lot of crap has gone down recently (more on that later) so the blog has gotten somewhat neglected as of late, but hopefully that will change and more posts will be on their way.

Here’s to getting 1000000 views before the end of the year!


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Fisch Fail, INC, is still a baby, still growing, still something…infant

If we were a human baby, we would be learning to speak, and maybe eat something that didn’t have the consistency of baby food. But fuck, we’ve already moved on to tacos and alcohol… Says something about us!

Anyway, yesterday we hit a random milestone… 20,000 views (and damnit, I was going to make sure I got to make this announcement!).

So, it took us nearly a year and a half to get our first 10,000… It took us 6 months, to get our second.

Lets try and beat that record (for us) even quicker.

Tell everyone about FFI, let’s do it!

 

 

 


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So, after yesterdays post of sadness, I decided to make this one… According to the Internet, blog readers love lists. I know, I persoEnglish: Logo of .nally almost always read lists when I come to one (Side note: Fuck you cracked.com, for making me waste hours and hours reading your fucking lists, except we are way cooler).

So, in case you might have missed them, I leave you a list of our top posts over the last two years, in order… Strangely enough, most are made by MoonPie.

10. Art for the Sake of Art – Ullersson

9. I Ate an Author Today – LuzOb

8. FFI is Getting Weird – LuzOb

7. Do You Really Know if Your Private Information is Secure? – MoonPie

6. So Sad… Dear Mommy and Daddy – MoonPie

5. Have You Ever? – fischfail

4. We’ll Hop Hop Hop Hop… What D’ya Say? – LuzOb

3. Facebook Format Change Again! Stop it Zuckerberg – MoonPie

2. The Good Guys Always Seem to Finish Last… Whys That? – MoonPie

1. Do You Know the MUFFIN MAN? – MoonPie

There you have it. Our top ten most views posts since we started almost two years ago. Hopefully, you guys have already seen all those, but if you have not, there they are.

 

What have they done now?

Posted: February 12, 2012 by fischfail in awesome, Fisch Fail, Food, Humor, Life, Nerd, Random, WTF
Tags: , , , , ,

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So, today ErinLovesTheWeb and I made some awesome gear. Take a fucking look!

P.S. Sorry for any blurriness, we don’t have a camera capable of macro.

FFI Drink-ware

What?

A moustache! Because I can't make my own...

Close-up of the mousetache

That is ErinLovesTheWeb with a stache.

Fucking classy

That is fucking right, that is some fucking drink ware, brought to you by the awesome that is Fisch Fail, INC.


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Actually, no it isn’t, it never will be, and if you call me that I might have to hunt you down and kill you…

Gandalf the Grey

Or just ignore the comment. It all depends on how I feel at the exact moment.

So, yeah, I’ve been gone for quite some time… Can’t really say where I’ve been, or where I will go. I promised I would make a return, and here I am, motherfucking fischfail in the flesh (kinda).

Either way, I will be making a grand return (this one is complete shit, and if you disagree I might have to punch you in the gizzards) in the next week (tomorrow seems like a strong possibility).

As a side note, AYCOoB shit should be posted soon, and I’ve got a few stories in reserves for the fuckers.

Fuck! I’ve missed you assholes, this one is for the win.

Either way, I have hoping that my return will inspire the forces of Fisch Fail, INC to stand up and fight. So think of me and Gandalf, bitch.

And remember, when Gandalf inspires people to stand up and fight, he’s actually singing: