Posts Tagged ‘Personal’


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So yep… finally back onto the posting flow… I hope? anyway…

Just a quickie for right now as mostly a shameless plug or myself and a site.

…ever go to woot.com? yeah me neither…

no seriously though I just wanted to share with our Norse Pagan friends this shirt:

Níðhöggr!

and if you look into the “Discuss this Deal” section you’ll see…

ME! see? we’re shameless here!

yup… finally a real-life celebrity now… but hold your gnashing of teeth and lamentations for later, for now it is bedtime!

LuzOb

Just Sit, Sip and Smoke

Posted: November 15, 2012 by luzob in Random
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

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Tonight occurred.

Tonight occurred just like any other night of the twenty six years of my life.

I really am as deep as a puddle in the Mojave.

Honestly though, I’m not really writing for anyone in particular besides myself.

I’m not angry; not bitter in the least.

I just sat upon my porch, sipped my whiskey, and took a draw from my cigar.

Rinse. and. Repeat.

Although I did indeed have music in my ears.

Theeere we are…

Now just think… visualize, if you will… a cigar in your left hand, and a fine beverage in your right.

…and that’s it.

Obviously relaxation should follow, right?

A chilly but bearable late evening, lit by streetlights and sconces. Eventually becoming brighter with every lazy closing of eyes. Tired? yes.

Sometimes we all need nights such as these, do we not?

My mind begins to wander as it tends to do; everything from the occasional sobering thought of loneliness to the solemn in-between where thought seems as trivial as sitting on a porch, smoking a cigar and sipping whiskey.

Those are the best times for me.

I’m not really saddened during this moment, neither am I relatively happy.

I am merely just there.

What else should I be?

i oft wonder where has my life taken me, but not tonight.

I know exactly where I am.

I whistle to myself the little piano tune in my ear, content with these nonsense thoughts.

I have homework, cleaning, laundry, worlds to rebuild and destroy, Gods to praise and ancestors to acknowledge…

…but for right now I need little more than

my cigar and whiskey.

Thanks for reading.


There’s a man…

 

A souvenir Indonesian parang.

a goddamn weapon!

 

Wait wait wait… didn’t we do this shit, like… a year ago?

 

Oh wait we fucking did

 

Well I fucking did…

 

WELL THERE STILL IS A MAN!

 

THE WOMEN HE TOUCHES…

 

thank him…

 

FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF HIS…

 

GILDED.

 

PENIS.

 

OOOOFFF WIIIIISSSDOM!

 

 

 

there is a man…

 

that…

 

FOUND HIS ORBITAL BURRITO!

 

MADE THE SWEETEST LOVE TO IT!

It became pregnant…

and gave birth to TERRY CREWS!

His left foot is an opalescent shotgun the can fire flaming Hostess Snowballs…

if he wants it to…

His right foot is…

Mjölnir!

and when he skips down the road he creates

ORGIES AND RAGNAROK AT THE SAME TIME!

WITH ZOMBIES!

After many months I was able to contact the King of England

WHY?!

BECAUSE IT’S HIS SHIT!

So who is he?

Who is this Poseidon of Earth?

…this Gaia of the seas?

well hell, I dunno… the end.

NO!

WE ALLLLLL KNOW WHO THIS MAN IS!

HE IS…

FISCH FUCKING FAIL!

That’s right…

and once again it’s his goddamn day of fucking birth!

So if you know what’s good for you…

Send him some money

Send him some booze

Send him a bunny

GIVE HIM SOME VIEWS!

 

I said it last year, and I’ll quote it right now:

“This man is the friend I’ve always wanted and the brother I’ve always needed.

Just know you’re (STILL) appreciated, Mr. Fail.”

…and the best part? Unlike last year I can literally punch him in the dick because he is within the same walls as me.

Thank you Mr. Fail for everything, and have a happy fucking birthday.

Ceremonial Reading Glasses

Posted: March 8, 2012 by luzob in Random
Tags:

 


It’s been a good run so far with FFI, and although we have a few slow-downs recently, we’re still growing every day.

Rainy Lake - August 2011-13

Rainy Lake - August 2011-13 (Photo credit: fabfotophotography)

If you are a reader of one little blog, casual or otherwise, you most likely won’t understand the title of this entry, and that’s a-ok. If you’re an author, most likely you won’t either, but you should and shame on you.

This date, August 13 2011, was when over one-thousand collective brains got to see the beauty that is Fisch Fail Inc. It was also the day that I noticed our blog was becoming something of a big deal. Honestly until that point I mostly blogged for no one, except for maybe myself and Mr. Fail, but afterward I began doing it for a lil ones… I mean the readers.

Seriously though; you guys have gotten us to new heights, and for that I am thankful.

A lot of crap has gone down recently (more on that later) so the blog has gotten somewhat neglected as of late, but hopefully that will change and more posts will be on their way.

Here’s to getting 1000000 views before the end of the year!


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Fisch Fail, INC, is still a baby, still growing, still something…infant

If we were a human baby, we would be learning to speak, and maybe eat something that didn’t have the consistency of baby food. But fuck, we’ve already moved on to tacos and alcohol… Says something about us!

Anyway, yesterday we hit a random milestone… 20,000 views (and damnit, I was going to make sure I got to make this announcement!).

So, it took us nearly a year and a half to get our first 10,000… It took us 6 months, to get our second.

Lets try and beat that record (for us) even quicker.

Tell everyone about FFI, let’s do it!

 

 

 


So I’ve been reading a lot of suvivalist/self-defense manuals as of late (more on the specifics later) and it really makes me think about how truly unprepared I am.

Unprepared for what, you may ask?

Every-goddamn-thing…

If my house happened to collapse (a very real possibility)…

If I were mugged by someone who would just kill me anyway…

If I found myself stranded in a location both remote and unsavory…

If Chuck Norris knocked on my door…

Well I’d be pretty much fucked if the last happened despite preparation… but seriously.

I live my fucking life now… I don’t just meander through my bleak existence like so many leaves blown in an unpredictable gale!

I need to figure out how to become more epic than I currently am…

…this could be difficult.

We’ll just have too see where this goes…

Luz-Fucking-Ob

aka

 

 

 

LuzOb-Literations 2

Posted: January 11, 2012 by luzob in Random
Tags: , ,

so im sitting here with my kindle, and what aday its been…

yeah it was all busy and shit,but honestly being out of the old house was nice…

i really wish i could say i had a good day… but have you ever had those decent days that are obliterated from just a couple of faces?.

maybe im just being dramatic, but fuck ive been far too busy for drama as of late… i guess i was overdue…

i think when i edit this entry i will keep it mostly as is and create a new series of kindle only entries underone big title.

…they will look terrible and most likely be short,but they will be all 100% LuzOb.

edit: I figured out a title “LuzOb-Literations” has a catchy ring to it… and if I can’t do much else, I can at least make decent titles.

edited by LuzOb


 
fishing rods
Image by jamestee via Flickr

Diving Into Fantasy

 

I want to feel the saline breeze from a seaside shore…

To wake up every day…

…in a manor, in a shack… it doesn’t matter…

…to the sound of waves kissing the eroding stone.

I want to get out of bed and embrace the ocean.

A sip of fresh tea to heighten my senses.

Then…

To pick up a simple fishing pole…

…and waste a handful of hours.

Breakfast is shared with a view…

…that most will see on postcards and inspirational calendars.

I wish to start every day this way.

Away from houses overcrowded with the mundane gasps of humanity solidified in desperation.

Away from those with everything… but have hate in their hearts… because their neighbor has so much more.

Maybe I want a wooden vessel that would allow me to be completely enmeshed with the sea, would you hate me such fancy?

You would love or hate me for eternity…

…if you only knew…

…how much I want this…

Wipe the Dust Away.

Posted: October 20, 2011 by luzob in Random
Tags: , , , , , , ,

So apparently everyone at FFI are entering hibernation…

…which means that I can’t be the weakest link at the moment.

…which means I have to keep writing, despite how shitty I feel.

I HAVE A TOPIC TODAY! whoo!

Ever have a random encounter with an old high-school aquaintance, and out of nowhere a whirlwind of catch-up unsues? Yeah I had that happen today after I got some homework completed.

I use the word “aquaintance” rather liberally here, since her and I were not anywhere near friends, and only spoke on the rarest of occasions. I was the “Godless Fat White Dude that Wore Only Black” and she was the “Big Bible-Thumping Girl” so our paths never intersected socially. Recently she noticed me around the college and we never really said much besides the occasional “hello-what’s-

The hero of the story takes on two rats as a p...

Why'd I post this? I don't know! Image via Wikipedia

 

up-okay-goodbye” and off we went.

Today apparently I was deemed chatty (despite how sick and shitty I really felt) so she struck up a conversation. I was about to grab a bite to eat and she mentioned that she was gonna get food… until she saw her bank balance. I knew she had a long drive and (obviously) was broke as all hell, so I pulled a couple of bucks to give to her. Call me gullible, call me stupid, but I remember the (too recent) days of having to ask co-workers and friends for money so I could eat and wouldn’t let her have to deal with the same bs. My oh my was she happy as could be, making a big deal out of something (I thought as) unimportant. I sat and ate while she continued to talk about old classmates, and this is where the main focus of this post begins.

Her, I, and a fraction of the FischFail crew all grew up in the same city. While remaining unnamed, this town has been on the brink of self-destruction for quite awhile; long before we were even born. Crimes of the violent sort, drugs, gangs, etc. can all be found here. Until I started hanging around other cities I never noticed how bad it’s gotten. I never even noticed how badly drugs had permeated our own cohort (or age-group, for those not into Lifespan Psychology).

So back to the conversation, she rambled off at least four individuals who gave their life away for an addiction. I will admit here and now – I am terrified of drugs as a whole. I mean fuck, I think I may be the only person from this town that’s yet to hit a joint (that is what we call sm0king marijuana… for those white-folk reading onward [jkjk]) so things like coke, acid, shrooms, etc are mostly alien to me on a first-person basis. Not from a lack of exposure, I tell you… but anyway…

I knew a small handful of old classmates that OD’d on one substance or another, so with a combined list of around 9 or 10 this is an obvious issue for our class, and for our town. Our blog is usually not the PSA-type, nor am I, but I will borrow a quote from Sean Kennedy (once again):

Know Your Dose (from the Wog Manual).

I mean seriously people… everything in moderation… positive and negative. It’s what make-a the world go ’round…

I mean take our own blog: if we were to only write articles about poop contantly, would it be interesting to read anymore? I mean, if you think about it, even the word itself would lose all status if overused…

Poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop poop… say it aloud. Useless, right? Unless you’re in the middle of a busy subway station or in class or something… THAT would be funny… ANYway…

We love our readers, and we love those close to us, so something that would take you away from us would kinda blow…

I’m not being all Third Reich about shit – toke it up every so often, rock that beer, take that shot – but keep in mind that those activities are extra special BECAUSE they’re not an every day occurance.

Common sense is slowly become a misnomer… Your fucking brain can’t make useful decisions if it’s clouded 24/7, and you certainly can’t read FFI if the letters are trying to attack you, so lay off the hallucinogens sometimes as well.

Which finally reminds me that we’ve not had a LAB-day in quite some time, so show us some interest in a Hallow’s Eve FischFail Party and it’ll become a reality.

 


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Rattus norvegicus, bicoloured pet rat eating i...

Image via Wikipedia

As you all know from Mr. Fail’s previous post, I am currently in the midst of grieving for my passed away pet rat, Lily. I felt as if I should write something about her, and perhaps this will lift some of the burdenous depression I am feeling.

The Wiki image I’ve found…

This’un ———–>

That is vert similar to what she looked like, but instead of the common ear placement atop her head, she was a Dumbo Rat, which means they are on the sides of her head. She was also bigger… much bigger.

She wasn’t obese (far from it by the time of her passing), just a lengthy and tall (can you call a quadreped “tall”?) ratty.

The more I look at the image the sadder I become, it is really uncanny how close the coloration actually is.

I got her two years ago for my birthday from Weakening Elms, and she picked her out. She was among about 6 other rats of varying colors and sizes, and I noticed another rat that seemed rather distinct as well. A little runt of a thing, looking skittish and generally at unease, with a deep near-black body and white undermarks.

I had actually raised rats years ago, and due to my lack of knowledge about socialization I spawned two mean and neurotic creatures. I did the homework and had a much better understanding of rats now, so I vowed not to allow these two to become anti-social.

It actually took me a little while to think up names. I usually tend to wrap a name theme around whatever pets I happen to have, and these girls weren’t any different. Personally my favorite flower is the rose, and was thinking about naming the blackish one as such, but I felt it didn’t fit her. Growing up on Michigan Metal, I knew of the band The Black Dahlia Murder, and at one point looked up the meaning behind the name and all that good stuff. Long(er) story short I named her Dahlia, and because of the contrast in coloration of the two I named the other Lily, and it fit.

I would not let these two monsters out of my sight, and for the first few days whenever I went around the house, I would take them, gingerly introducing them to the surroundings. One thing I noticed was that Lily sneezed often, and I worried about a possible respiratory infection (usually lethal in rats) and the Dahlia always tended to poop everywhere she wasn’t comfortable…

…and at that point it was everywhere she was.

Eventually they became acclimated to the cage, the couch, the outside areas near the house (until the neighborhood cat set up residence nearby) but there was one place they HATED no matter what context.

The bathroom.

Any why was this? Despite any attempts to placate them, baths were instinctually known by them to bring death instantly. Lily was the hopper, and would most likely end up soaking wet and directly on top of my head eventually. Dahlia… well she just pooped excessively and had a habit for utilizing her (very sharp) claws to cling to any open skin I happened to have. One little side note is that I am actually allergic to rats, which made both bathtime and cage-cleaning time interesting (both occur usually in the same day). So sneezing up a storm myself, and bespeckaled with little hives I would clean them. I was usually miserable at this point, covered in rat dander and just as soaked as the girls were.

And I loved every bit of it.

Between Elms and the rats I have learned the real definition of sacrifice for someone you love.

Lily would have her good days and her bad, but usually besides the occasional sneezing fit and a little shortness of breath, she was moving around just fine, and began putting on weight. These past days were different, though.

She began to slow signs of lethargy, and honestly I thought something may have been depressing her. I would socialize with her, and I noticed that her muscle tone was somewhat diminished. I let the both of them out for a while, and she just wanted to lay in the sun on the windowsil (very common for her).

Last Tuesday after school Drez was about to do laundry and informs me that Lily didn’t seem to be moving. I look in confirmation and he was right. The poor thing was as still as could be, and not breathing. Ms. LovesTheWeb was going to take care of her for me, but I told her I could…

I couldn’t, and immediately called Elms to help me deal with this shock.

We buried her between the two other graves we’ve had to make along the years, and the next day my mother (who happened to be in town thankfully) helped me plant Sweet Vanilla flowers over her.

Ugh… this shit is hard on me.

Anyway I let Dahlia roam around the next day, giving her more attention than usual, attempting in vain to fill a gap I was never able to. The poor thing made a B-line to the one place she knew her sister/lover/friend would have been.

I had to almost drag her from the windowsil later to feed her…

Now it is a new day, and I’m currently at school, fighting tears and making sure at least some other individuals knew how amazing my rats are.

I think I may get her a new companion, but this will be a very intensive process that I am not looking forward to.

Rats are much more complex than what most think. Presumations of dumb rodents that eat trash and vicious temperments are common misconceptions, but couldn’t be more further from the truth.

I was going to write a ProPow entry, but I just lost a friend two days ago, and felt a need to vent.

With that last declaration I am going to end this, and may possibly write something less heavy-hearted later tonight.

 


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A smiling baby lying in a soft cot (furniture).

Do you see this thing? Isn't it fucking adorable?!?

What is “getting old” in this day and age?

Is it a physical stage in life, such as getting a career (not just a “job”) getting a family, etc.

Or is it something else?

I am in the beginning of my Lifespan Psychology course, and as most classes are formed, this one is chronological as well.

So these last few days have been about mostly one subject.

Babies.

At first I was like “ugh… a two-month fetus’ head is half it’s length… what the fuck” and then we started talking about nurturing and caring for the little demons.

I felt strange… as if, not only was the thought of coddling a little infant not disturbing, but…

Appealing? Almost as if I want a child of my own.

Oh dear Odin…  what is wrong with me.

I’ve been in a (mostly) consistent relationship with Weakening Elms for three years, and maturity is usually one of our “hot button” issues.

I’m kinda a retarded man-child…

I’ve taken strides in my own personal development during these short years, though I do need a few more steps…

Because I am still a retarded man-child…

I will give you a little insight into my life.

…I am a Human Services major.

What does that mean?

I will one day take your children from you…

NO… I mean I may become a Social Worker (the sky is the limit… or my bank account is… whatever).

I have been learning a crap-ton from these courses, and will be much happier in the field than my old major (Culinary/Hospitality Management). Seriously though I just want to help those around me (self-validation, check).

Part of me feels as if I may be growing into adulthood (finally) but another deep well within my being tells me that something is… off?

Most likely just my normal anxiety-ridden reaction to changes within my life.

…I get twitchy when I go clothing shopping for fuck sakes.

i know this is quite atypical from the FFI community, but these serious issues have been weighing heavily upon my proverbial shoulder, and I thought you kiddies would want to know as to why I’ve been posting sparsely as of late.

So there you fucking go…

(bullet point) I may be have my biological clock ticking and alarming at my brain.

(another fucking bullet point) I may be slowly feeling more comfortable with the “adult” shit.

(guess what? another bullet point) Stress is beating my ass (as normal).

(this one gets some asterisks or something) Fetuses are still terrifying as hell.

That be all.

There’s a Man

Posted: August 17, 2011 by luzob in Random
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

A big, strong and passionate man…

…He can lift stumps from the earth

…with his dick.

He once made a 400 lb. man drop to his knees and sob uncontrollably…

…with a smile.

 

This wondrous individual can use his thoughts to propel small objects in orbit.

…I’ve seen it.

…it was a burrito.

Though we mourned the death of the wrapped Tex-Mex food item, the amazing man fed everyone of the on-lookers immediately afterward…

…just on his awesomeness.

…and we were full…

…and it lowered everyone’s cholesterol.

THIS MAN IS THE SIXTH PLANETEER!

His tears are considered the greenest source of fuel.

…we still have to use gasoline because he never cries.

He once took a dump in Buckingham… the miraculous movement was swiftly Knighted.

…one day it shall become King.

He made the Old Spice guy break down and weep, just because he farted.

He slew the Orbitz white-suit man…

…just with a child-like giggle.

The Dairy Queen guy…

…calls him “All-Father”.

…and he laughed in the face of Mayhem.

Who is this God among humans?

Who could this beautiful beast possibly be?!?

You beg me to give you the name!

BEG me to allow the utterance of his perfection!

This man is…

That’s right…

and it’s his effing birthday, so make sure to give the founder of this amazing blog all the goddamn love you can muster…

…then give him more.

…until it bleeds you.

I assure you that your love will come back to you in a check for one-million beautiful happy-times.

This man is the friend I’ve always wanted and the brother I’ve always needed.

Just know you’re appreciated, Mr. Fail.

We Are Gathered Here…

Posted: August 2, 2011 by luzob in Random
Tags: , , ,

Tombstone

Image by bugmonkey via Flickr

So I’m officially back, and happy to be as well.

Now for some seriousness…

RIP to every blog that will never be posted upon ever again…

I was recently stumbling and came across a Steampunk-esque blog that was wordpress-based created by a historian with Harvard cred. It was a cute blurb about linguistics and was entertaining, so I th0ught I may as well look to his main page.

…He gave up upon the blog on December of 2010…

It was so very unfortunate that the blog died before I could even begin to enjoy it’s content. I “liked” it, but did not real further than the Stumbled entry and the final one, due to the fact that it would be like reading about a wonderful person, getting into their imaginative work, wanting to read more of said work, but realizing their final work was their own epitaph.

Dear bloggers of the universe: someone out there loves your writing, no matter whom. Never give up until you cannot type another meaningful passage, because your biggest fan may not even know you have yet to exist.

Finally, I will not post a link to the dead blog, due to the fact that I do not wish the same disappointment upon anyone else.

 

Oh my god…

Posted: July 14, 2011 by drezirale in Religion
Tags: , ,

So lets touch on a serious subject– I know rare for me right? The topic is religion. I started thinking about this a while back. Not a whole lot of people in this world really know that much when it comes to their beliefs. Not to rag specifically on Christians, but it seems some of you folk seem to know the least in what you believe. Now, I have nothing against your beliefs, there are even some of you have presented me with valid arguments, and dare I say put me in my place. I love that more than anything. I don’t often like to be wrong, in fact I hate it a lot. Though when it comes to religion it brings me great joy to be proven wrong. You know why? Because it means you know your shit.

A while back when I was in high school. I was talking of the three earth based religions. When someone stopped me right in the middle to say “What about Christianity.” To which I replied. “It’s not an earth based religion.” Needless to say this highly offended the person. Their argument was we are on earth and Christianity was the religion of the world. I then informed them that earth based is worship of elements, animals, and other such spirits. Which then made them say. “But God made these things, so Christianity is earth based.” Still not seeing my point I dismissed this conversation. I’m willing to accept Christianity being the most widespread religion… However, it’s not the one ring to rule them all, so to speak. Much like it’s not the oldest in the world either.

Christianity only dates back to Jesus and his disciples. Before that it was Judaism. The old testament is parts of the Tanaka. Not even the whole thing either, just the parts convenient for the religion in it’s time period. Even during the crusades the bible constantly had things taken out and put in to fit the needs of those who were doing “God’s Work.”  Even Judaism has less of a recorded history than most. By that I don’t mean things happened before Genesis, I mean there are less things from the past of these recordings. No one was around for the big bang. According to the bible God didn’t even make ma until the fifth day. So who knows, there could of been some whack job making shit up in the bible ages and mass produced it as a religion. Look at Scientology, prime example right there.

Another factor would be, humanity as a whole has increased our worldly knowledge so much that common sense would now dictate, lightning plus tree equals fire. As apposed to the then, burning bush miracle. Again, not to pick specifically on this religion, I wasn’t there I don’t know. I’m merely presenting a different plausible outcome. I’m sure every religion has things like these. However, I have only studied a few religions, and only read the Christian bible cover to cover twice. I’d like to say I have a particular religion but I really don’t know enough about any of them to make a true commitment.

There have been points in my life where I have been shown what is what. I was once arguing Mono-theistic vs Poly-theistic. When someone brought about the idea Christianity was Poly, due to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit aspect of things. I presented the argument of the trinity and God being the creator of all these things making it a Mono. To my surprise began comparing Christianity to other Polys such as Athenian, and even Asatru. God x Odin x Zues, Jesus x Thor x Hercules, Lucifer x Loki x Hades. Relation seemed to vary but the outcome for the most part remained unchanged. Not, only that but there are scores of other beings in the Christian religion that seen as icons. Mary, Micheal, Raphael, and Gabriel to name a few. This same person then presented devil worship as a form of the religion as well. Where one can worship say, Loki and you still can be Asatru, all the beings are still there and you still believe in them you just choose to worship the evil end of things. This actually amazed me.

Then again who is really to say what’s good and evil. It’s all on the matter of who’s old or new writings you happen to agree with. It’s personal choice. I have nothing wrong with the choice, I just ask you at least know why. I have asked that question so many times. The most popular one was “It’s the right way.” I have gotten the best answer, “It’s what I like.” but it’s very rare.  You could make up a god tomorrow and name him Billy Bob God Of Corn Cobs. I guarantee you will know more about him than most will know of their own religion. Including myself.