How may a mere man judge his true character?
I have absolutely no idea as to why I tend to pose questions when I am fully aware I will never receive an answer.
I was drugged once again, and this time I have become conscious enough to truly explain what I believe is going on.
The stitching that was holding together the skin of my lacerated cranium has been removed, but my beard is becoming quite cumbersome.
I have no razors for to shave, and I have no mirror to see the scarring from the “injury.”
I make jest as to the nature of my “injury” because that is what the Addoc, someone whom I have had more than a couple of meetings with, tells me what occured.
It is strange that I often see more of the Addoc than of the other caretakers, all except for the wonderful Coats. I believe of two theories as to why I may have them working on my head.
1. Most likely the actual issue; One of the brutish Coats handled me somewhat more roughly than usual (which is quite the thing to say, considering their oft violent temperament) and I was injured whilst in transfer to this dismal room.
2. The blackguards surgically added/removed/altered something within my head.
Call me a pessimist (I am used to it) but I am a believer of the latter.
I wish I could fully explain that goingson of this institution, but a candid impression is currently impossible. It is a personal belief of my own that the AAPP is attempting to de-Power every individual that resides here. Either through chemical, psycological, or surgical means, every single person who is Profanely Powered is becoming weaker in time. I have heard many accounts from the other patients, and now that I am much more mobile I can interact with those around me to a limited extent. Unfortunately I have yet to become “de-Powered” enough to gain the ability to speak again, but without my voice I am merely an unexceptional being.
Almost normal… except for the miniscule urge to wish destruction upon every living specimen around me.
It is much easier to views those around me as specimens, and this eases the more sociopathic impulses in my mind. The only time I am able to surely hear my own vocal articulation is when I am creating these entries. Despite the attempts of others to quell my Power, I believe it may have become stronger.
The past few weeks I have had a visitor; not of the human sort, but of vermin. I use this term loosely, as the mouse that began to frequent my abode was quite welcomed initially. I would speak to him in similar fashion as you, and give it ill-procured sustinence pilfered from our eating area. I usually use these offerings for my own use, but decided that his life was at least as important as those around me, so I fed him. Eventually he began to actually grow and change, unlike those around me. I wondered if he became over-expectant of my gifts, and would periodically speak to him in harsher tones. This tended to cause personal dischord with him, and I finally understood this occurence.
I could actually control him just as those around me.
I named the creature “Human,” indeed befitting to the frail being, and it has now been three weeks since our commencing introductions.
I suppose one would surmise that social interaction is in the midst of daily routine for me, and this would be correct to the casual onlooker. By casual onlooker I mean mostly person within these walls.
It is just a phantasm of reality, as I have heard from others is the best appoach to leaving this horrid fixture.
I have also heard of another canard from my room-mates of another Power, and despite the claims being unfounded I will detail them due to my interest.
Those who are often awash in the darker areas of towns are usually branded with a sense of belonging to those areas, an imprint of self melding with the physical location. Apparently a very rare percentile (most likely those who were born into the setting) will have such an impression from these sheer darkness in the area that they almost become the shadows themselves. Paling of skin, and hair are commonplace,then blindness will ensue as the eyes redden and dialate. This lack of vision is in fact replaced with a far superior sense; abilities far more acute, and ghastly, than any Norm could ever behold. Often smaller in bodily stature, the Umbra can be easily as ignored as the shadows themselves. This is to their apparent advantage, as outward perception is not to their habit. An intensification of their Power can manifest itself in one primal way that allows them to be both subtle and deadly: e.g. the ability to create tangiblity of the shadows themselves.
This is the only information I could discern currently, and more intel will be reported when available.
At times I feel as if I am a reporter, sending knowledge of a vastly unknown subject to those who would otherwise never know.
…or maybe I am ignored by all.
…all but Human, and who knows if it is not just the foodstuffs that he is attentive.
We now have an audible signal that resounds throughout the institute at a certain nightly interval that warns us of imminent slumber (more on this later) and has just been issued. Human is here with me now, so I will feed him and end this for now.
I have to get out of here…