Posts Tagged ‘Stephen Hawking’


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For being as fucking awesome as I am. However, in the recent PerkDermp, I posted a video twice!

Imagine that, I fucked up… And normally, I wouldn’t care, because that video was fucking awesome…

However, I made this big spectacle about the video being a big concern for some…

So, I present to you the video that was supposed to be posted.

Also, fuck LuzOb for not having precognition and pointing out the fucking mistake sooner… Or something…

Here!

Also, in case you haven’t fucking noticed the tag “Tyrannosword,” that shit is hot… And I intend to make it a real word. Be ready, you fuckers.

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Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Thanks!

Welcome to the 6th installment of Perkdermp. This time around I have a lot of pictures that I have personally enjoyed. Again, I am making no claims that these images are my own (unless otherwise noted), and I do apologize if you feel I have stolen from you in some way. None of the images in this post are explicitly NSFW, however depending on your work environment, there may be one or two that could be bothersome. And now, all the warnings are out of the way.

This week’s PerkDermp is going to start off with a short video, just to get you in the mood…

Incidentially, this is how I get ErinLovesTheWeb and LuzOb to go to sleep. And now, onto some fucking pictures.

DancingBlackKid-2

I don’t know what this kid is dancing about, but I am going to assume it is regarding cake…. Or he is getting laid… Or both.

CrazyGirlScreaming-2

I have watched this for a while now, and I still have no idea what the fuck is going on… Although, whenever I drink out of Styrofoam cups, I have the same reaction.

Happy-Graduation

Man, I wish I had saw this long before I started school… Although, I might have, and just didn’t believe it….

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It is true. Fuck kids. Snot-nosed demon-monsters.

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BBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

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Nicki has really let herself go since American Idol finished out this season…

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Being a vegetarian, I can fully agree with this statement. Never has salad caused any awesome stories… Hell, for that matter, the only story salad has caused is Verbal Derps…

Click here, to continue reading !


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Thanks!

This is the fifth installment of the “Perkdermp” series… The more I do, I more I realize I might spend too much time on the Internet.

This time around I have a lot of pictures that I have personally enjoyed. Again, I am making no claims that these images are my own (unless otherwise noted), and I do apologize if you feel I have stolen from you in some way. None of the images in this post are explicitly NSFW, however depending on your work environment, there may be one or two that could be bothersome. And now, all the warnings are out of the way.

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I know I posted this just the other day, but my confused erection demanded it to be posted once more… Fuck you, I’m allowed to repost on my own fucking blog…

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WHAT THE FUCK!? Who the fuck thought this was a good fucking idea? Seriously, “kill it with fire” is not enough in this fucking case…

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I hate ferrets, I think they are fucking disgusting and terrifying. The only reason I posted this is: I get strange solace in thinking that cushion is actually concrete and crushing the little bastard.

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Not always, just ask the members of Fisch Fail, INC!

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… For that lonely bachelor.

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Poi… It is magical

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Look, another Fisch Fail, INC author dressing up as Batman! Let’s see if this one can also become famous!

Click here, to continue reading !


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Thanks!

This is going to  be a new pseudo-series. What I mean by that is: instead of making random posts regarding the content (which will be explained momentarily), there will be a portion of the blog dedicated to the topic. Very similar to the “Fischisms” page, with one exception.

I encourage you to submit your own stories. Stories! Stories, about what? I am happy you didn’t actually ask that, and that I was able to assume that you would be.

The new section will feature the dumb-fucking shit I’ve heard as a result of trying to change my lifestyle. Now, I don’t expect you to have the same problems, but chances are: someone constantly says something fucking stupid about one or more of your life choices. I encourage you to share this information, giving as much (or little) back story as you like (after all, ambiguity runs the fucking Internet).

And with that, I present you with a (growing) list of shit that has been said to me.  I’m going to kick this section of the blog off with a post regarding it.

As a brief aside, these entries will be written in the following format (and would be nice if they could be submitted in a similar fashion).

[Subject matter (i.e. diet, poi, drinking, etc)]

“Quote”

The reason for this formatting is fairly simple, if you can’t figure out the benefits, I might have to bad news for you…

But, I digress…

Vegetarianism

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

One night, LuzOb and I were drinking, and this pleasant little blurb erupted from his mouth… I really wish it wasn’t true, but sadly it is…

LuzOb: “If an animal farts on your food, is it still considered vegetarian?”

me: “……what?”

LuzOb: “What if they shit on it, instead?”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

A month or so after I officially stopped eating meat, I walked into my parent’s house, drinking a milk shake and enjoying the warm weather. Mind you, this comes from the same guy who thinks “Timecop” is the greatest movie of all time… Don’t believe me? Read about it here: My dad is awesome

Dad: “Is that a milk shake you’re drinking?”

me: “Yeah, why?”

Dad: “I thought you were a vegan, don’t they die if they have milk or some shit?”

me: “No, I am not a vegan, I am a vegetarian. I will still eat dairy.”

Dad: “So, you’re a vegetarian, and not a vegan?”

me: “Correct”

Dad: “Good, I thought you were a total faggot…”

no meat

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

When first relating the story of my new diet to my grandmother…

Grandmother: “Are you even able to eat anymore? Won’t you die?”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

When first relating the story of my new diet to the family of ErinLovesTheWeb

Grandmother: “We are going to order pizza… Want us to order you a salad or something?”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

When eating a dish of corn and peas in a basil sauce one night.

LuzOb: “We are you going to start eating real food again?”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

I’ve always been allergic to tuna, I cannot tell you why, but I cannot consume it… If I do, i become violently ill. A lot of people know this little fact about me. About two months after my official end to meat consumption, LuzOb approaches me with this:

LuzOb: “You can still eat fish right? I mean it is good for you…”

me: “With how long it has been since eating meat, that would probably be a terrible idea…”

LuzOb: “But you probably should, you know for your heart or whatever.”

me: “Sure.”

LuzOb: “So, why can’t you eat Tuna, again?”

me: “I don’t really know”

LuzOb: “You should try again, maybe you won’t die.”

me: “Do you even consider the things you say?”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

One night, ErinLovesTheWeb and my I went to get a bite to eat, and I ordered some vegetarian dish.

Waitress: “Would you like any beef, chicken, or steak cooked into that?”

me: “No thank you, I am a vegetarian.”

Waitress: “…Would you like it on the side, then?”

mistake

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

One day I arrived at my parent’s house to meet with them and just hang out for a bit… Being an average concerned parent, my dad asked me a simple enough question.

Dad: “You hungry?”

me: “Yeah, a little bit.”

Dad: “There is some meatloaf in the fridge.”

me: “Heh, dad, I. I. I, I don’t eat meat anymore, remember?”

Dad: “Well, shit. I guess there is some… Watermelon, or some other not meat shit, in there…

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

Misc quotes to come from various sources whose back-stories do not matter or have occurred too frequently to care about it.

LuzOb: “One of these days I’m going to cook you a vegetarian dish, and when you aren’t looking, I’m going to drop a pound of bacon in it”

Anonymous: “Can you even order pizza anymore?”

Grimnir: “How much do you miss bacon?”

LuzOb’s brother: “There is some pepperoni pizza in there if. you… want……. Nevermind.”

Poi

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

I have been spinning poi on and off for a few years now, as a result, I have felt my fair share of injuries, which gives way to this conversation, and proves once and for all, size does matter.

Guy: “Man, I could never do that shit, I would be too afraid of hitting myself in the dick… Or the face.”

me: “Yeah, both happen.”

Guy: “Fuck that, I couldn’t do it.”

me: “I wasn’t asking you to?”

Guy: “Nope, not me. Now give me glow sticks on string and I will play with that shit.”

me: “I’ve done both, these are actually much more forgiving that glow sticks, in terms of impact…”

Guy: “Fuck that, those things are massive, they must kill.”

poi

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

I was spinning in my front yard one day, and two kid walking down the street decided to ask me some questions.

Person: “What are you doing?”

me: “It is called poi, it”

Person: interrupting me, “Is it like karate?”

me: “Karate? No, if anything it is more like Tai Chi, wh…”

Person: again interrupting me, “So, you’re saying it is like anime. Man, you’re fucking stupid.”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

I was spinning in my front yard one day with Grimnir when a car stopped in front of the house and asked me to come to vehicle, briefly

Person: “What are you doing?”

me: “It is called poi. It is a lot of fun and can be quite relaxing.”

Person: “I see you out here all the time, and I was just curious. Is it like being a magician?”

me: “Not exactly. It is more similar to yo-yo than sleight of hand, although you can incorporate bits of sleight of hand.”

Person: “Cool. So could I learn that in a week or so?”

me: “Probably, not…”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

One night I was playing with some LED-glow poi in the front yard, and a “house-guest,” stepped outside for a cigarette. As a brief note, I would like to point out I have been sober for quite some time now (years), but we will see the relevance there, momentarily.

Person: “Man, that is cool as fuck. One of these days I going to bring over some pot and some hallucinogens, and I will pay you to do that.”

me: “You know, not all events are made better with drugs…”

Person: “Whatever you say… So when do you want to do getting fucked up and spin?”

me: “…Go away.”

I think that is going to be it for now. The actual page should be up and available soon. Hope to hear some great stories from you guys.

 
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Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

So I had a terribly evil and horrible idea a while ago while looking back at one of my favorite nerdy news blogs, Topless Robot. A former writer of said blog named Rob Bricken had a weekly post called Fanfiction Friday that I found to be disturbing, disgusting and so god damn funny it hurt. Unfortunately like all the good things in my life it ended when he moved on to (what I hope are) bigger and better things writing for i09. He did continue to do FFF on io9 for a while it was shut down after it was decided that being on the much lager site FFF looked like the big bad guy picking on the small, defenseless writers. This makes me a sad panda. SO after having to much to drink and reading some of my favorite FFF posts I decided to try my hand at this bit of satire.

So now that where this idea came from is out of the way I should probably explain what the unholy hell this is about. Basically I will be presenting a piece of fanfiction with my reactions as I read through it. Think of it like Mystery Science Theater 3k but with graphically disturbing fanfiction instead of terrible films.  Hopefully in my drunken state I can at least bring a bit of a chuckle out of any poor souls who happen upon this post and are unfortunate enough to read what I have. My other goal is to cause any of the writers of Fisch Fail to start vomiting uncontrollably, but that’s only because I love them so much.

In any case I should probably get this started.

Today’s story is called “WHAT’S 25 FEET TALL AND COMES IN PINTS?”.

Yep a Jurassic Park fanfiction by Michael Collins (I hope the writer didn’t use his real name). May god have mercy on my soul.

Warning, beyond this point is very NSFW !