Posts Tagged ‘Twitter’


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For being as fucking awesome as I am. However, in the recent PerkDermp, I posted a video twice!

Imagine that, I fucked up… And normally, I wouldn’t care, because that video was fucking awesome…

However, I made this big spectacle about the video being a big concern for some…

So, I present to you the video that was supposed to be posted.

Also, fuck LuzOb for not having precognition and pointing out the fucking mistake sooner… Or something…

Here!

Also, in case you haven’t fucking noticed the tag “Tyrannosword,” that shit is hot… And I intend to make it a real word. Be ready, you fuckers.

fischfail_sig2


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Thanks!

Welcome to the 6th installment of Perkdermp. This time around I have a lot of pictures that I have personally enjoyed. Again, I am making no claims that these images are my own (unless otherwise noted), and I do apologize if you feel I have stolen from you in some way. None of the images in this post are explicitly NSFW, however depending on your work environment, there may be one or two that could be bothersome. And now, all the warnings are out of the way.

This week’s PerkDermp is going to start off with a short video, just to get you in the mood…

Incidentially, this is how I get ErinLovesTheWeb and LuzOb to go to sleep. And now, onto some fucking pictures.

DancingBlackKid-2

I don’t know what this kid is dancing about, but I am going to assume it is regarding cake…. Or he is getting laid… Or both.

CrazyGirlScreaming-2

I have watched this for a while now, and I still have no idea what the fuck is going on… Although, whenever I drink out of Styrofoam cups, I have the same reaction.

Happy-Graduation

Man, I wish I had saw this long before I started school… Although, I might have, and just didn’t believe it….

funny-image-2372

It is true. Fuck kids. Snot-nosed demon-monsters.

tumblr_mn5rmkICTD1ro23r5o2_r1_500

BBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

never-feed-them-after-midnight

Nicki has really let herself go since American Idol finished out this season…

tuesday-funny-photo-dump-9

Being a vegetarian, I can fully agree with this statement. Never has salad caused any awesome stories… Hell, for that matter, the only story salad has caused is Verbal Derps…

Click here, to continue reading !


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Thanks!

Hey guys, a new Verbal Derp has been made!

7-28-13 jerky spit

As you can see there is a new format! Also, Expect a new Perk-Dermp to be made Monday. Hopefully I can get some regularity going. Or something.

fischfail_sig2


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Thanks!

So, I just took the time to make a short update to the “fischisms” page for ErinLovesTheWeb, which was a little awkward (I’m

The tabletop electronic game, Astro Wars. Dist...

The tabletop electronic game, Astro Wars. Distributed in the UK in the early 1980s by Grandstand. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

used to writing about myself in the first-person…).

Either way, here it is.

Him: “So, what’s this website do?”
Me: “What?”
Him: (Incoherent mumbling)
Me: “I think you’re asleep…”
Him: “Obviously”
Me: “What website are you talking about?”
Him: “I don’t know, the one that helps people and shit…”

At, the same time, I also posted a new “Verbal Derp

I was running a weekly tabletop game with a group of friends, and the discussion turned to meat… Somehow.
LuzOb: “Fisch, would you have sex with a roast?”
me: “No…”
LuzOb: “Is it because you’re a vegetarian?”

I do believe that to be it for now. Make sure you visit both of those pages frequently, as both get posted to fairly frequently.

As a brief side note before I depart this time, I am looking into a new format for displaying those quotes, and a new “Perk Dermp” should be coming soon.

Sorry, I am tired as hell, and cannot fall asleep.

fischfail_sig2


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Thanks!

This is the fifth installment of the “Perkdermp” series… The more I do, I more I realize I might spend too much time on the Internet.

This time around I have a lot of pictures that I have personally enjoyed. Again, I am making no claims that these images are my own (unless otherwise noted), and I do apologize if you feel I have stolen from you in some way. None of the images in this post are explicitly NSFW, however depending on your work environment, there may be one or two that could be bothersome. And now, all the warnings are out of the way.

weird_9 (4)

I know I posted this just the other day, but my confused erection demanded it to be posted once more… Fuck you, I’m allowed to repost on my own fucking blog…

3lVcc0D

4gifs.tumblr-23

WHAT THE FUCK!? Who the fuck thought this was a good fucking idea? Seriously, “kill it with fire” is not enough in this fucking case…

6sgiSPA

I hate ferrets, I think they are fucking disgusting and terrifying. The only reason I posted this is: I get strange solace in thinking that cushion is actually concrete and crushing the little bastard.

7Y860nV

Not always, just ask the members of Fisch Fail, INC!

9MruJee

… For that lonely bachelor.

2013-06-10 08.38.28

Poi… It is magical

2013-06-12 23.33.05

Look, another Fisch Fail, INC author dressing up as Batman! Let’s see if this one can also become famous!

Click here, to continue reading !


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter. Thanks!

This is going to  be a new pseudo-series. What I mean by that is: instead of making random posts regarding the content (which will be explained momentarily), there will be a portion of the blog dedicated to the topic. Very similar to the “Fischisms” page, with one exception.

I encourage you to submit your own stories. Stories! Stories, about what? I am happy you didn’t actually ask that, and that I was able to assume that you would be.

The new section will feature the dumb-fucking shit I’ve heard as a result of trying to change my lifestyle. Now, I don’t expect you to have the same problems, but chances are: someone constantly says something fucking stupid about one or more of your life choices. I encourage you to share this information, giving as much (or little) back story as you like (after all, ambiguity runs the fucking Internet).

And with that, I present you with a (growing) list of shit that has been said to me.  I’m going to kick this section of the blog off with a post regarding it.

As a brief aside, these entries will be written in the following format (and would be nice if they could be submitted in a similar fashion).

[Subject matter (i.e. diet, poi, drinking, etc)]

“Quote”

The reason for this formatting is fairly simple, if you can’t figure out the benefits, I might have to bad news for you…

But, I digress…

Vegetarianism

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

One night, LuzOb and I were drinking, and this pleasant little blurb erupted from his mouth… I really wish it wasn’t true, but sadly it is…

LuzOb: “If an animal farts on your food, is it still considered vegetarian?”

me: “……what?”

LuzOb: “What if they shit on it, instead?”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

A month or so after I officially stopped eating meat, I walked into my parent’s house, drinking a milk shake and enjoying the warm weather. Mind you, this comes from the same guy who thinks “Timecop” is the greatest movie of all time… Don’t believe me? Read about it here: My dad is awesome

Dad: “Is that a milk shake you’re drinking?”

me: “Yeah, why?”

Dad: “I thought you were a vegan, don’t they die if they have milk or some shit?”

me: “No, I am not a vegan, I am a vegetarian. I will still eat dairy.”

Dad: “So, you’re a vegetarian, and not a vegan?”

me: “Correct”

Dad: “Good, I thought you were a total faggot…”

no meat

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

When first relating the story of my new diet to my grandmother…

Grandmother: “Are you even able to eat anymore? Won’t you die?”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

When first relating the story of my new diet to the family of ErinLovesTheWeb

Grandmother: “We are going to order pizza… Want us to order you a salad or something?”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

When eating a dish of corn and peas in a basil sauce one night.

LuzOb: “We are you going to start eating real food again?”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

I’ve always been allergic to tuna, I cannot tell you why, but I cannot consume it… If I do, i become violently ill. A lot of people know this little fact about me. About two months after my official end to meat consumption, LuzOb approaches me with this:

LuzOb: “You can still eat fish right? I mean it is good for you…”

me: “With how long it has been since eating meat, that would probably be a terrible idea…”

LuzOb: “But you probably should, you know for your heart or whatever.”

me: “Sure.”

LuzOb: “So, why can’t you eat Tuna, again?”

me: “I don’t really know”

LuzOb: “You should try again, maybe you won’t die.”

me: “Do you even consider the things you say?”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

One night, ErinLovesTheWeb and my I went to get a bite to eat, and I ordered some vegetarian dish.

Waitress: “Would you like any beef, chicken, or steak cooked into that?”

me: “No thank you, I am a vegetarian.”

Waitress: “…Would you like it on the side, then?”

mistake

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

One day I arrived at my parent’s house to meet with them and just hang out for a bit… Being an average concerned parent, my dad asked me a simple enough question.

Dad: “You hungry?”

me: “Yeah, a little bit.”

Dad: “There is some meatloaf in the fridge.”

me: “Heh, dad, I. I. I, I don’t eat meat anymore, remember?”

Dad: “Well, shit. I guess there is some… Watermelon, or some other not meat shit, in there…

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

Misc quotes to come from various sources whose back-stories do not matter or have occurred too frequently to care about it.

LuzOb: “One of these days I’m going to cook you a vegetarian dish, and when you aren’t looking, I’m going to drop a pound of bacon in it”

Anonymous: “Can you even order pizza anymore?”

Grimnir: “How much do you miss bacon?”

LuzOb’s brother: “There is some pepperoni pizza in there if. you… want……. Nevermind.”

Poi

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

I have been spinning poi on and off for a few years now, as a result, I have felt my fair share of injuries, which gives way to this conversation, and proves once and for all, size does matter.

Guy: “Man, I could never do that shit, I would be too afraid of hitting myself in the dick… Or the face.”

me: “Yeah, both happen.”

Guy: “Fuck that, I couldn’t do it.”

me: “I wasn’t asking you to?”

Guy: “Nope, not me. Now give me glow sticks on string and I will play with that shit.”

me: “I’ve done both, these are actually much more forgiving that glow sticks, in terms of impact…”

Guy: “Fuck that, those things are massive, they must kill.”

poi

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

I was spinning in my front yard one day, and two kid walking down the street decided to ask me some questions.

Person: “What are you doing?”

me: “It is called poi, it”

Person: interrupting me, “Is it like karate?”

me: “Karate? No, if anything it is more like Tai Chi, wh…”

Person: again interrupting me, “So, you’re saying it is like anime. Man, you’re fucking stupid.”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

I was spinning in my front yard one day with Grimnir when a car stopped in front of the house and asked me to come to vehicle, briefly

Person: “What are you doing?”

me: “It is called poi. It is a lot of fun and can be quite relaxing.”

Person: “I see you out here all the time, and I was just curious. Is it like being a magician?”

me: “Not exactly. It is more similar to yo-yo than sleight of hand, although you can incorporate bits of sleight of hand.”

Person: “Cool. So could I learn that in a week or so?”

me: “Probably, not…”

fischfail, June, 28, 2013…

One night I was playing with some LED-glow poi in the front yard, and a “house-guest,” stepped outside for a cigarette. As a brief note, I would like to point out I have been sober for quite some time now (years), but we will see the relevance there, momentarily.

Person: “Man, that is cool as fuck. One of these days I going to bring over some pot and some hallucinogens, and I will pay you to do that.”

me: “You know, not all events are made better with drugs…”

Person: “Whatever you say… So when do you want to do getting fucked up and spin?”

me: “…Go away.”

I think that is going to be it for now. The actual page should be up and available soon. Hope to hear some great stories from you guys.

 
fischfail_sig2


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I was browsing Reddit that other day (surprising, I know), and I came across a link (I cannot remember it at this time), but it was an album of pictures the user took from inside a book. I present to you, some limericks.

Limerick 1

Limerick 2

Click here, to continue reading !


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!
Fisch

Fisch (Photo credit: HamburgerJung) I personally think this should become our new logo.

So, Breeish called it. Almost 2 years ago at this point. She said, and I quote “^ I am surprised Fisch doesn’t have a post about this up.” I will be honest, I never actually took the time to look up what the fuck that meant, until now.

Wow, how the fuck did you know?

I don’t much discuss issues of poo, on this here blog (I leave that reserved for Drezirale who no longer posts because he is a cunt), but when I do, I something…. I don’t even know anymore, I apologize.

And now to explain my absence. I’ve been gone, deal with it, as for the other authors, I cannot say. (Although it, sadly,  may be about time to “trim some fat around here”).

On an important side note, remember that the “I’m Addicted To Your Mom” contest is nearing completion, and we are still accepting entries. Remember, with no entries, we cannot announce a winner.

Fuck it, who likes pictures (not related to the previous shit!)?

Eh, who the fuck am I kidding, you guys love pictures, and below are some random ones in no particular order. Have fun! Obviously, most of the following are not original content, sorry if I “stole” from you.

3cOjmUH

4B33vTF

4raaRZl

Click here, to continue reading !


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

One of my favorite things about this video, is the guy rocking on the “drums.”

If you don’t like that, I’ve got another one for you… It’s called fuck you, asshole… Or, you know “Strong as an Oak,” like it fucking matters anyway.

And for some good fucking measure:

You, dirty little sluts.

On a side note, tonight is AYCOoB, where I may let our readers have some control, leave comments to let me know how to kill them!

Also, there are two new fischims, that you can read below, but you can go to the fischisms page to read them all (new layout for that coming soon)

Him: “There’s chocolate cake in the oven.”
Me: “Oh?”
Him: “Don’t question it.”

“I’ve got to step up to the streets and take care of crime.”

Related articles

fischfail_sig


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

Second-secondary title: FLUS RO DAH!

Been awhile eh fellow Failures? So it’s been one hell of a couple months for all of our authors; random household pandemic (our own personal Ragnarok), school business starting, holidays, etc. but yeah… we should ALL be posting full-force hopefully soon… and while I cannot really say anything in terms of the others I can say…

I AM BACK BITCHESSSS!

but yeah… first things first… WTF wordpress?! why in the name of the Gods is everything so… so… laborious-looking? dunno what I mean? try to sign in from your own damn blog page, let alone be posting from a little tophat from the main page… I can’t do shit with this : /. everything – once again – looks so…. laborious?

okay so I got that all off mah shest… next in line:

my Twitter @LuzObLiteration has a whopping total of around 11 followers… so cut that in half and take our duplicates and I prolly have around 3 or so followers… so i am thinking about closing it off, but now entirely sure yet. i mean we get plenty of traffic here, but barely any comments. this leads me to believe that possibly there is no problem with our readers/audience/demographic, but there may be an issue with us. any suggestions could help, and if you happen to be one of the more shy individuals that read our stuff then you can always hit me up on twitter, email me personally at luzobscuridad@gmail.com, or even use Fisch’s contact info as well (i even hear he has one of those fancy “you can call and leave a message” phone numbers!). ONTO OTHER BUSINESS!

so i believe that roughly 50% of our authors are currently battling the flu, which also probably means that i’m sick as hell, right?

NOAP

i’m fucken beauti-… i mean i’m not ill whatsoever. but everyone else in the house is all “eerrrr… muuuhhh… Urdin* uhm ull seck und shet!”

(*this will probably be the only time I will ever call the Allfather “Urdin”)

so… add that as reason number five hundred seventy-eight that this blog is rapidly collecting dust.

CHANGE PLACES!

on a more interesting/positive (at least for me) note; i am officially a legal pistol owner! this would be my second firearm purchase – the first being my mean-ass Mossburg 500 – and is a Taurus .357 magnum Model 65 revolver and is a heavy, angry sonofabitch. i am so happy with it that I may give it it’s own post. i know i’ve been meaning to create a “my armory” post as well, so expect some pics soon!

i’ve got several other things i feel the need to post, but i believe this will suffice for today!

kisses and pisses (wtf am i even writing that for? is that supposed to be a sign off?)

update: I FIGURED OUT HOW TO FIX THE DERPY WORDPRESS! I GOT MY OLD FORMAT BACK!

LuzOb


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!
poster for Confession of Pain

poster for Confession of Pain (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The other morning, while ErinLovesTheWeb was at work, I took a small trip and ran into a friend I haven’t seen in months. She offered to buy me a cup of coffee while we caught up.

We sat down and began talking. She told me she felt out of tune with herself, that she has had serious relationship trouble lately. In fact, she apparently has not had a decent relationship since our separation.

After a little more chit-chat about our lives in the current, we place a to go order and decide to return to my house to further our discussion.

After a while we were both feeling rather low and needing of a hug.

One touch of her smooth curves left me feeling tingly once again. I hadn’t felt this way in years.

Moving my hand up I began caressing her neck softly, sweetly. She responds with a low growl.

With my right hand on her hip, we start slowly swaying back and forth. The next thing I knew, we are embracing a touch and desire that has long been neglected by the both of us. My hands caressing her body, her moans and cries filling my ears.

I begin at the top of her neck and work my fingers down every long beautiful inch until I am at her body, and then I begin the course upwards.

Before long we silently sneak inside to my bedroom. The bedroom that I happen to share with ErinLovesTheWeb.

I lay back on the bed, she across my chest, we begin to get to “warmed” up.

Soon my fingers have her moaning and deeply growling. If you have never heard it, it is a beautiful sound.

But then it happens… Right in the middle of our reunion, ErinLovesTheWeb walks in… And catches me…

.

.

.

.

.

.

Playing my bass.


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

One of our top search terms for a long while here at Fisch Fail, INC. is “mexican batman.”

Batman and Robbin

Batman and Robbin (Photo credit: dianaoftripoli)

Seriously, don’t fucking believe me? Look at a sample of our search results below!

What the fuck is wrong with you people? “Skyrim nude,” really?

Mexican Batman actually beats out “skyrim nude,” “nude skyrim,” and “naked women playing skyrim.”

Seriously, how the fuck does this picture:

Eldwardo.

Eldwardo as the Mexican Batman?

Beat this picture? !


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? It is easy, all the work is already done. Also don’t forget to follow our antics on both Facebook and Twitter. Thanks!

Here it is once again, another posting about SPAM.

White bitches bow down

White bitches bow down (Photo credit: alaspoorwho)

If you recall I have done a few of these in the past, and this one should be no different fundamentally.

Lately, we have received a lot of bullshit, the same generic ones about SEO rankings over and over again, but due to some recent posts we have made, we have received some amazing comments.

So here are some of the better choices:

This grotesque human/wasp hybrid is what leads all of the wasps. It’s fingertips are 12 inch long stingers that are 2 inches wide. This is rarely reported by humans for the very second you see it wasps burst from your eyelids and it’s scream makes a projectile swarm at it’s target. Needless to say if you see it you don’t survive. If you hear buzzing at night don’t open your eyes, it watches you sleep in hopes someone will wake up to be the next victim.

In response to LuzOb’s “Norse Crisis Flowchart”

This piece of writing presents clear idea for the new users of blogging,that truly how to do running a blog.

A “comment” posted on Drezirale’s “Bahn Hammür, or How I Learned To Stop Bitching and Love The Show.”

I loved up to you will receive carried out proper here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an nervousness over that you wish be handing over the following. in poor health for sure come further until now again as exactly the similar nearly a lot ceaselessly inside of case you protect this increase.

Also posted to Drezirale’s “Bahn Hammür, or How I Learned To Stop Bitching and Love The Show.”

That is it, this time around, stay tuned, and have fun!

P.S. I am too lazy to make the above articles links, maybe one of the other authors will do so.


Welcome, don’t forget to share this blog with your friends and subscribe for the latest in entertainment. And if you use StumbleUpon, go ahead and give us a thumbs up, would ya? Thanks!

Hey Readers its MoonPie!

I have been gone for a long time…

peanut butter moon pie

Basically all I have done is working out and eating right.

I work out about 5 nights a week and two of those days are heavy workouts.
Hell I am down 40 lbs woot! for me!

Oh I forgot to mention I’ve been working my ass off at the job and with all of lives little stresses, it does not make things easier. I could blog about problems but who wants to hear my sappy stories, hell we all got em!

Lately I just have not known what to blog about.

So with that being said I would like the readers who can comment and my fellow authors to help fuel my mind with ideas on what to write here…. I am in a slump right now with no imagination!

Anyways I am sorry for being gone for so long, I dont want that damn Frog attacking me or its frog legs for dinner tonight…… seriously