Posts Tagged ‘Writing’


Alright I’ll level with you guys…

this’ll be a somewhat serious post…

Indirectly I’ve been on the blog lately; looking at posts and reminiscing about where we’ve come, and where I am know.

Coming this Autumn I may possibly be only a shadow to this blog, as I will be taking classes full time and also be starting my social work internship. I wanted to throw a lot out there today considering that fact that I’ve been absent for so long but I’m exhausted.

Within the next couple weeks I will be conducting and moderating a very important meeting with (hopefully) all the authors of Fisch Fail Inc regarding where we will be going next as a whole. I believe our blog is at a very momentous crossroads and can just as easily fail as flourish. This is an amazing opportunity for us and I am only optimistic. That being said due to the consistent lack of posts from most authors it could still endanger us. Mr. Fail will always be chugging along, posting random picdumps and musings, but in order for this little blog to be something more we will require a concerted effort.

NEXT. SUBJECT!

So another reason I’ve been lacking presence on the blog is because my good friend Bexhet (he’s been on here before) had come back from school to go back to school but closer this time (you’ve heard me). Over the years we’ve had a SHITton of inside jokes and general derpry, and I really believe we could use some of that comic energy here. I’m sure soon we will be bored of one another but until then hanging out with him has taken a good amount of my leisure time.

Other things taking my time:

Weakening Elms; on a personal note we’ve been doing swimmingly as of late and we are a better couple for it.

School; just like always, but since this is a pain-in-ass Research class I’m sure you college-goers understand. I am fuck I’m gonna grad in less than a year!

Fancy new prototype story; unfortunately I’m not saying BALLS about this except that it is a group effort with some non-FFI writers. This could possibly be an actual good idea (unlike Profanely Powered).

Work; I’ve started taking more responsibility at work and may actually get some form of supervisory position if I play my cards wrong and/or right.

NEXT. SUBJECT@!#@!#$!%$

So as of literally a couple hours ago I believe I’ve finally found (with the help of our own beloved Grimnir) a Norse Pagan group that appears to be somewhat local and could be very promising. I find myself honestheartedly a little nervous, as our group has always just been us, but with this possible expansion comes a new path in the connection with the Gods. I’ll keep everyone posted as to how this goes.

It is somewhat difficult to fully express my devotion to those around me. I’d love to be the guy that saunters around declaring that I don’t care about what people think… but I really do. I dislike mentioning this again but ever since my mother passed I’ve felt this spiritual vacuum within my being. While the Gods speak I’ve giving little into actually listening as of late. This has been affecting my life in many ways. My work and school have been suffering, my friendships have been straining and my own home is in disrepair to the point that I’ve taken to spending a little time as possible there. There feels to be a part of me that is proverbially absent now, and I’ve no idea how to find its return.

I am not asking for simple platitudes or even helpful advice. This is simply a post dedicated to bringing my experiences to our wonderful readers – allowing a small glimpse into our lives in a way that is only here at FFI. I hope to grow with the blog and find some good to come from the transformation. I’ll assure you all that the next post will have less gravity (maybe it will be about space!) than this one. Let’s all have some fun guys.

LuzOb


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Doctor Who! I said the words which means I must be apart of the fandom because that is the only way you can see it, right? Anyway, just a short post for right now, but here is the “Doctor Who” fandom, and thus every argument regarding “The Doctor,” in a nutshell…

dwa

 

Also, expect some “real” content from me shortly. Until then, have fun. And feel free to discuss some shit with us.

 

fischfail_sig2


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I was browsing Reddit that other day (surprising, I know), and I came across a link (I cannot remember it at this time), but it was an album of pictures the user took from inside a book. I present to you, some limericks.

Limerick 1

Limerick 2

Click here, to continue reading !


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I fully agree with the ideas listed below. Let’s do this ‘Murica (the rest of the world can join in just substituting where appropriate)!

twinkies500

 

Mr. Inman, if you are seeing this, please realize that I did not in fact steal this. Please don’t assume that I did. In fact, here is another link to your wonderful website: TheOatmeal.

fischfail_sig

Nine Realms Learning Poem

Posted: November 3, 2012 by luzob in Random
Tags: , , , , ,

Nine Realms Learning Poem.


There’s a man…

 

A souvenir Indonesian parang.

a goddamn weapon!

 

Wait wait wait… didn’t we do this shit, like… a year ago?

 

Oh wait we fucking did

 

Well I fucking did…

 

WELL THERE STILL IS A MAN!

 

THE WOMEN HE TOUCHES…

 

thank him…

 

FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF HIS…

 

GILDED.

 

PENIS.

 

OOOOFFF WIIIIISSSDOM!

 

 

 

there is a man…

 

that…

 

FOUND HIS ORBITAL BURRITO!

 

MADE THE SWEETEST LOVE TO IT!

It became pregnant…

and gave birth to TERRY CREWS!

His left foot is an opalescent shotgun the can fire flaming Hostess Snowballs…

if he wants it to…

His right foot is…

Mjölnir!

and when he skips down the road he creates

ORGIES AND RAGNAROK AT THE SAME TIME!

WITH ZOMBIES!

After many months I was able to contact the King of England

WHY?!

BECAUSE IT’S HIS SHIT!

So who is he?

Who is this Poseidon of Earth?

…this Gaia of the seas?

well hell, I dunno… the end.

NO!

WE ALLLLLL KNOW WHO THIS MAN IS!

HE IS…

FISCH FUCKING FAIL!

That’s right…

and once again it’s his goddamn day of fucking birth!

So if you know what’s good for you…

Send him some money

Send him some booze

Send him a bunny

GIVE HIM SOME VIEWS!

 

I said it last year, and I’ll quote it right now:

“This man is the friend I’ve always wanted and the brother I’ve always needed.

Just know you’re (STILL) appreciated, Mr. Fail.”

…and the best part? Unlike last year I can literally punch him in the dick because he is within the same walls as me.

Thank you Mr. Fail for everything, and have a happy fucking birthday.


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Madam Red with Grell Sutcliff

Madam Red with Grell Sutcliff (Photo credit: davidyuweb)

Hey guys, it is fischfail, I’ve been gone for a while once again, and it is not something I am going to apologize for again. But I can offer a brief explanation as to my whereabouts…

Like I said, I’ve been going for a while, so long in fact that I (just like every other author we have) missed deadlines for contests that we had running, as well as our second birthday.

Now, you may be asking yourself: “What? You mean this place has actually been around for over two fucking years now?” But more than likely, you are asking “Why does that actually matter? You guys didn’t do shit, and it is only your fault that no one celebrated it…”

And that is true, to an extent. I’ve been busy, ErinLovesTheWeb has been busy, fucking LuzOb has been busy… We have all been fucking busy, and none of us have been spending much time around here lately.

Shit happens…

Either way, I’m saying this right here, right now: both the “FFI’s Next Top Model” and “FFI’s Logo Design Contest” will run another full fucking year.

But that is not the only fucking awesome news… No! We are also starting a new fucking contest. You guys have heard me discus the concept of “I’m Addicting to Your Mom” and you guys can become part of it. It is very simple, tell us a story, any story, if we like it, we will have fun with it.

For instance, maybe there was a time you got stuck in a couch; maybe, just maybe you tickled a moose’s vagina; maybe you lost your virginity to an entire testosterone fueled football team; whatever your story is, as long as it is real, tell us. We want to hear all about it.

Don’t worry, all the above information will have its own page right here on the blog, with all the rules and requirements that go along with it.

Seriously you guys, we know you visit us, we know you read us… Make us hear you; yell at us, talk to us, fuck you can even throw us a ham sandwich. We don’t care, just speak up, chime in, and let us know what you are thinking.
And I don’t want to hear any shit about “well, you guys do not have accounts on any of the things I like!” To that, good Sir or Madam, I call bullshit. We are constantly growing and digging our odd sense of humor into more and more locations around the interwebs…

Maybe you like forums, well you can click this fucking link here: Forums

Maybe, you prefer facebook: Facebook or even Facebook fan page

Twitter?

Reddit?

Tumblr?

Digg?

Youtube?

Delicious?

Linked In?

Maybe you prefer to text me personally? Sure, not a fucking problem, just dial 1-734-252-6387 into whatever fucking fancy mobile device is in your pocket. Send me a text message; send me a picture; fuck, send me a fucking voice mail. I don’t care.

Or perhaps you like only communicating via e-mail? Again, not a fucking problem, send me a fucking message at: Gmail, Hotmail, even motherfucking Yahoo?

See what I mean? We can be found all over the fucking place! And the best part is? Those aren’t even half of them… Seriously, look us up, we can be contacted and any way you see fit!Not to mention, here at the home of Fisch Fail, INC.

Seriously, at any of those fucking places can you send me comments, pictures, videos, whatever you want… We want to hear from you. Make it happen.

Now that I am done on my soapbox, we will see you later… And don’t forget to check out the contest sections listed above. Seriously, you guys might learn some new shit!


So it’s been almost two entire weeks since a post from anybody here, so you’re most likely wondering if we’re dead…

Don’t adjust your sets, because we’ve already been dead for years.

Even before it’s conception nearly two years ago, we were a blog murdered by the conventions of what a “real” blog should look like, be about, and contain within.

I, LuzObscuridad, will officially tell all of our faithful (yet dwindling) readers that we are not only dead, but UNdead…

That’s right kiddies, we’re a Zomblog…

What the fuck if a Zomblog, you ask? Well shut the hell up and I’ll tell you!

A Zomblog is less of a format and more of a concept; it’s what we’ve always known FFI to be, but never had a name for it.

Just like dead people, there is absolutely no expectations for our blog. Yet just like a zombie outbreak, we will continue to spread and grow in numbers, without heed toward tends, niches, or popularity. If you read our blog, you’ve already been infected – bitten in the carotid and now able to infect others. If you even offhandedly mention our little blog to a friend, family member, or (Gods forbid) member of the clergy, etc., you will get your first taste of human flesh, and spread our contagion through the masses! We’re a blog, a plague, an epidemic!

…and the most beautiful part? It’s all your fault…

There is no cure…

There is no preemptive vaccine…

You’re already dead…

Just like us at Fisch Fail, Inc.

Lastly, you also get a random-ass pic for all your disgustingly cannibalistic work…


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Hey guys, it’s me, fischfail. I bet you never thought I would return, didn’t you. Don’t fear though, it takes a lot to keep me down and out,

A child sad that his hot dog fell to the groun...

A child sad that his hot dog fell to the ground. Photographer’s blog post related to this photo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

although it has been getting easier to do so.

You will have to forgive me for not posting recently, between the veritable laundry list of illnesses, stress due to school and work, and a sudden onset of depression, I haven’t had much will to do very much. And while I will spare you all from most of that, I will share the following with you.

Today, I woke up with severe neck pain that prevents me from turning my head without excruciating pain shooting throughout my body, which is also causing my back to tighten back up, and not to even mention my teeth…

gross teeth

Obviously, not my real mouth.

But enough of the sad stuff surrounding my life.

Although the story behind this post is a little saddening as well, but for other reasons… I’ve been gone for a while; this is a clearly known fact (my last real post being made March 29, 2012). But I had a plan, a glorious and triumphant return: a plan that would make Fisch Fail, INC amazing, once more.

Sadly though, that plan was dashed away by the sudden and somewhat concerning disappearance of someone who has had very little mention here: StarStorm.

It would have been a post surrounding one of the two things authors of Fisch Fail, INC can actually admit to enjoying: video games and attractive women. This particular story would have focused on gaming and one very amazing online interaction that I personally encountered.

However, since that is likely to have gone out the door I am here to make this post, which will actually be combining a couple of posts that I had planned on making.

But now that I am done with the second sad bit of this post, it is time to move on to fun! Most of the following does not need further explanation… Or maybe they do, I am not really sure.

I forgot to do homework, because I am a huge slacker.

How did they know?

I thought you was corn.

…I don’t even know…

A muppet hanging out a window

Uhhhhhh, what is his name?

Actually, I saw this while driving to school. Unfortunately that was the only picture that ErinLovesTheWeb was able to snap off before the vehicle disappeared into a nearby suburb. Either way, let us continue.

Pants onfire

That is kinda how Fisch Fail, INC. is.

Computer gamer getting very angry

Admit, you’ve been there…

Who hasn’t wanted to beat the fuck out of the annoying kid next to them at the LAN party?

Robin WIlliams

So would I… I think

A guy "magically" catching a hat

I wonder how many takes that took?

Dubstep, kinda like that

Yup, exactly as I pictured it.

An impressive break dancer

This still manages to creep me out… Please make it stop.

Violent force of show

Get the fuck out of my way.

It's the Fett, I promise

This picture is not only awesome, but will piss Drezirale off.

And now for Fisch Fail, INC’s first ever post including actual nudity…

But wait, there’s more… That is NSFW


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Titanomaxia Trilemma Supra Saga~ ready to init...

Titanomaxia Trilemma Supra Saga~ ready to initiate the ultimate game (Photo credit: KevinHutchins314)

So, I’ve actually been meaning to make this post for about a month now, and I don’t exactly know what has kept coming up to prevent me from doing so, but here it is. I was part of a group creation, along with ErinLovesTheWeb, Jihawk, Digustipated, Starstorm, Saga, and maybe a couple of others (if I forgot you, I sincerely apologize, buy you could leave a comment, and let me know!)

Let me introduce to you: The South East Michigan Independent Gaming Alliance of Yesteryear. Which is also known as The Semi-Gay. You want to join, send me a message (there are plenty of places where you can do so), and we will see what we can do.

And lets move onto the next bit of news… Does anyone but me remember Fisch Fail live events? I miss that shit, I might try to bring it back. They were fun while they lasted, and it was a good way for you guys to actually get to speak with us and meet us “in person.”

Also, I think we all forgot about this… But we need logos! Any of you remember the logo contest we had going on? The one where you guys were supposed to create a logo for us, so we can have official pictures that apply to us. The contest is simple, you guys design us an image that portrays the concept of Fisch Fail, INC (and if you don’t know what that means, perhaps you could take some time and read some of our older posts, it might clear some things up). We then take your logo design and make sure it gets immortalized for all the world to see… Or at least those who read our blog.

Speaking of contests, we are still looking for a model for some official Fisch Fail, INC flavor (personally, I like chicken and salmon, but you guys can choose other ones that are more to your liking). We could really use contestants, or else you guys get to see us presenting the magical gear and no one wants to see that. And I promise you guys, you will love it.

Also, you should never forget about “I’m Addicted to Your Mom!”

And now for the reason you guys are actually reading this post, the sexiest pictures of 2011 as judged by Fisch Fail, INC.

But wait, there’s ALWAYS more!


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Just for you Drezirale… I know how much you love that song…

Let's Get Down

Let's Get Down (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Either way, I am back now (we had some issues surrounding wireless that I could not fix…), and now

lets resume where we left off…

Yet another Pictophone booklet, this one was started by the very amazing ErinLovesTheWeb..

01

I don’t think We’re in Kansas anymore.

02

03

Don’t think about shoes or the dog will bite you.

04

Click here to continue reading!


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This is the third installment of my pictophone series. This booklet comes from the very awesome B.E.N. (whose name may change in

the future)…

Either way, here we go. And once again, I will make sure to make captions for the written pieces of artwork.

#1

I am a jelly donut

#2

#3

I am singing about a box of raisins

#4

#5

Sing take me out to the ballgame

#6

#7

Singing baseball player

#8

#9

I’m not exactly sure what happened here, but it says “I sing while playing baseball”

#10

Ten more image brought to you by the game called pictophone. And now you all know that the phrase “I am a jelly doughnut” directly translates to a screaming man with a gigantic misshapen club-like penis singing while a baseball hurls towards him.

For some bonus content for you guys, I leave you this.

And that is it for me for today. Keep being fucking awesome you guys.


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Time for part 2 of the pictophone series. Stand back and watch the awesome unfold.

A baby wearing many items of winter clothing: ...

Image via Wikipedia

If you remember from the first post I made, I discussed how the game goes, the one thing I forgot to mention is: everybody in the circle does this at the same time (if you have five people playing, there are five people either writing or drawing at the same time).

This “booklet” (the name I will use to describe one stack of papers) comes from StarStorm (more on him in the future). And now that I think about it, I forgot to mention the author of the first booklet, JiHawk (also more of her in the future). My apologies ma’am, please don’t shank me for forgetting to mention you.

Remember to scroll slowly, taking in each amazing piece of written masterpiece and showmanship of pure artistic talent.

#1

It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your cloths

#2

 

#3

Hot airplanes gaining altitude love clothes

#4

 

#5

Flying planes love clothing?

#6

 

#7

Fly your heart to clothes

#8

 

#9

A flying heart leads to empty clothes (which can be strangely accurate!)

#10

 

Well, there you have it. Pictophone part 2. I hope you guys enjoyed this one as much as the last, and I do have more lined up and ready to be shown to the world, but I think one pictophone booklet is enough for one post.

So, until next time, remember: Don’t take life too seriously. It might just kill you.

 

P.S. The title of this post is brought to you by the following song.


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Fail

Image via Wikipedia

There was a blog aptly named Fisch Fail, INC.  and it did… Stuff.

So, it’s been a short while since I’ve last posted. And there are plenty of stories to be

shared with that. And hopefully

they will all come into existence very soon.

Since, it seems most of my authors have disappeared into the abyss, there has been a shortage of posts recently. A

lso, Ullersson, if you happen to read this, I do have a signature for you. I’ve actually had it for months… You can ask Luz about getting a hold of me.

So either way, ErinLovesTheWeb and I are part of a new group (which you will hear about in the very near future. But today’s story is related to it, however no background information is needed for that at this time.

There is a game we’ve been playing for a short while, called Pictophone. If you’ve never heard of the game, let me explain the rules.

 

1) Find a group of people.

2) Give each person sheets of paper equal to the number of people in the group.

3) Each person writes a phrase or statement on the first sheet of paper.

4) Everyone passes their entire stack of paper (picture on front) to the person on their left.

5) The new person puts the phrase on the back of the pile of the papers.

6) The new person then draws a picture representing the original phrase.

7) The person then passes the entire stack of papers to their left again.

8) The new person then looks at the picture, and moves it to the back of the stack.

9) The new person then writes a statement describing the picture (they are not allowed to look at anything but the top sheet).

10) Repeat until the circle has completed.

11) Read the results and have many lolz.

It sounds silly, but it is a lot of fun.

The following is one example from a night of play. I will include captions for the written sheets of paper. Scroll slowly to fully take everything in.

#1

December is for cynics

#2

 

#3

You should tell your cold friends when the calender shows snow on trees.

#4

 

#5

The screaming calendar man helps the monkeys with mittens.

#6

#7

Sleep Monkey

#8

 

#9

The monkey’s on a leash while you sleep

 

#10

 

And that is basically the game (well 1 of 5 peoples chain of translations). I will try and post a different one every couple of days. By the end of the night, we were all screaming in pain from laughter.